View Full Version : Do your parents not believe you?
Hi Everyone.
I haven't been on here for a while since I have been so busy with work and family problems. My question really is are your family supportive with your problems. I have really bad anxiety and panic. I have had counselling in the past for this and it worked at the time but after a couple of months it just all comes back. I told my Mum that I have anxiety and she just says, don't be so stupid, you are fine. My dad has mental health problems (schizophrenia, depression and anger) so she really should understand or maybe she is in denial about it all. I am no longer in touch with my Dad so I cant go to him for advice.
Do you have any advice for me on how to let my mum understand. I really wish I could approach her and she would understand.
In a word, no, even after all these years they still think I should "pull myself together" and that I "bring a lot of it on myself" Being the only child with no other family is what makes my condition worse as friends do not understand either and think it is just me "moaning"
I feel your pain, I am in the same boat and GPs are just as bad. My GPs answer was to "try yoga" etc - great!
Yeah I know what you mean. My Mum thinks there is nothing wrong with me. I just feel so alone with no support as no one believes me. I hate it.
Sunflower2
14-07-14, 16:55
My family worry a lot about me, as they don't really understand why sometimes I don't eat, can't leave the house, can't be alone sometimes etc. but they don't understand it because they think I should just stop being dramatic and thinking about myself so much, and pull myself together. My mum can see why I act the way I do, but has limited patience and gets angry at me because it upsets her seeing me like this. So although my parents are very supportive, I've become quite secretive with my anxiety and depression as it's easier for me to cope with in the long term as I don't have to worry so much about offloading on them. That's what I use here for haha!
Do any of you continuously go over things like illness, feeling unwell etc? I do many times a dayand that is what annoys my parents - I am like "I have a stomach ache, I feel stressed, I feel sick" .... an hour later, say the same again and that is what annoys them. As I am on ADs they think it is a cure, it isn't, it is mindset and mine isn't good at all in many situations. In fact being unemployed now and on JSA I am slowly thinking about going on to ESA
My parents were never supportive, and they're both care workers!
My mum has never been able to deal with the fact that she has a mentally ill child, my father just doesn't "believe" in mental illness but he left when I was younger anyway.
I had a lot of bad GP's, I think it's important to find a good GP if you can, it is a health problem after all.
Amen to that, my Father has had breakdowns and depression, my Mother has had depression and I seem to have (through life events) been gifted it as well and yet even though they have been through it they seem to think I imagine most of it and I just work myself up.
Do any of you continuously go over things like illness, feeling unwell etc? I do many times a dayand that is what annoys my parents - I am like "I have a stomach ache, I feel stressed, I feel sick" .... an hour later, say the same again and that is what annoys them. As I am on ADs they think it is a cure, it isn't, it is mindset and mine isn't good at all in many situations. In fact being unemployed now and on JSA I am slowly thinking about going on to ESA
Yeah I know what you mean. I feel there is always something wrong with me illness wise which annoys my mum a lot. I am glad I am not alone as I just feel nobody believes me.
Rennie1989
15-07-14, 11:44
Never was when I was 13, never are now, never will be. In fact, my in-laws are more supportive than my own parents are. They completely deny that I suffer from anxiety and depression and don't even acknowledge the work that I do towards mental illness stigma. I've tried, but it's like talking to a brick wall, so I've given up.
I am with my parents now, I feel like a zombie - I am in my room on my laptop and it is 4pm and I have eaten 2 digestives today - that is it. I have a stomach ache, legs feel like jelly, shivvery and general lethargy - all I want to do is go to bed. Not a great start to a build up to a weekend away with friends. My Mother also has a bad cold so now I am telling myself I will have it in 2 days just ready to feel like a mess before I go away.
Years ago I loved the build up to time away and the looking forward to it - now I am looking forward to the train home on Sunday and the end to the weekend - how is that right? How are those feelings normal? I HATE THIS!
My parents try to be supportive, but end up doing it in totally the wrong way... They're both very old school (they're working class from East London) and so generally think that most mental health problems are made up and are the fault of the sufferer for being lazy and not being positive enough.
As an example, they constantly think that if I am distant or quiet, it's because I am being nasty towards them on purpose, and not (as I continually tell them) because I am having an off day and feeling really lousy, which then leads to them getting upset and angry, which makes me more upset (and angry), which then leads to me being more distant... Never ending cycle.
Unless you have suffered with, or directly cared for someone with mental health illness, I don't think you really have the first idea what is wrong and how to help. I'm sure that isn't the case for everyone, but it has been what i've experienced so far.
Catherine S
15-07-14, 19:20
My mum and I crash alot when talking about my fears and phobias, she's never really understood in all these years so I try to steer clear of the subject if I can. It helps that we live in different countries...she lives in Wales!
ISB x
My mum is very supportive but she does get annoyed with me sometimes. My dad has never understood or been supportive. We've had a bad relationship since I was a kid and when I speak to him he'll say you need to push yourself (feels like a broken record lol) of course I know I need to push myself to manage my anxiety.
I've stopped caring , if he cant be bothered to support, understand or see his own son more then I cant really be bothered with him that much either.
It makes me sad when I hear of parents not acknowledging their children's mental health problems.
My daughter is 26, and suffers from schizophrenia.
She is also on the autistic spectrum.
We have had some desperate times together,but also lots of happy ones.
Perhaps the fact that I also have had problems with my own mental health means that I have a lot of empathy for anyone who does,whatever their age.
This illness is no respector of persons. Whoever you are,you have a 1 in 4 chance of experiencing it.
That's an awful lot of people.
Thank you all for your support. I am just out my hospital appointment with the asthma clinic. I had a bad asthma attack and was hospitalized in December for 3 nights. He thinks my continuous asthma problems from then is due to anxiety and panic. My mum was in the appointment with me so I guess she will hopefully understand now that I am not making the anxiety situation up! Its honestly a never ending cycle with my anxiety and worry. :(
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