Worrying about posting

[xXx~Jo~xXx]

Hi Everyone,

I know this is stupid [:I] but I am curious to know whether anyone else worrys about posting or chatting to people online. I always worry that what i say may be percieved wrong and i will hurt or offend someone, i really struggle to talk to people. i also worry that if my post is too long people will think i am attention seeking or if i reply to two people and one is longer than the other they may get offended by it. I have social phobia and i dont know whether this is a symptom or whether it is normal to worry about this but it has just been made worse because of my social phobia. I usually worry about how people perceive me and offending people in real life but i thought i would feel different online.
Did that all make sense? any opinions would be great.

Hope everyones well, take care love Jo X

[Peter]

Hi Jo,
I know exactly where your coming from. This is all new to me and I'm really conscious about it. I do have a habit of rattling when I get started. I did make the mistake of posting long the other day and then really started to regret it. I do think that theres very little we could say that some if not most would have experienced at some time or has been seen on this site.
Your not alone on the SA, I guess its something you get used to ?
Kind regards
Peter

[Laurie28]

Hiya Jo,

I think everyone is scared of hurting or offending people, it is human nature.

the thing about the written word is that people can take it the wrong way. The good thing I have noticed about this site is that if anyone has been offended and feels they have to voice it (or write it!) then someone else usually comes on and gives a good 'outside' point of view, thus it is cleared up in no time. I know alot of people who come to this site are depressed/anxious/panicky people therefore can be quite sensitive but truthfully i have seen very rare occasions when people have become upset.
When you post people get a feel for what you are like and will know you aren't meaning to offend anyone and everyone has their own points of view.
Don't be worried about offending people or writing lenghthy posts I certainly haven't seen anything from either of you that is even remotely offensive.

I think us 'anxiety' sufferers just worry too much.


love
lucky
(I hope this made some sense!!!!)

[Peter]

Hi Lucky,
thanks for the reassurance.
I started councelling back in April and I spent the first 4 months telling him how wonderful I was feeling, and the things I was doing like giving up the cigs, changing the diet and how I felt these things were really helping me and I had finally cracked it. A few weeks ago, he said so if things are so good why do you keep coming back, only then did we start to get down to business. Now he's gone on honeymoon for two months (the lengths people go to getting out of hearing my problems!! joke?)

I guess its the way I was brought up, find it really hard to say I'm struggling and need help (guess I just said it !!).

Kind regards
P

[Karen]

Hi Jo

I don't think you are alone in worrying about posting. I find it very helpful to post about my own thought/feelings because I struggle so much to communicate verbally. Writing is a way of expressing myself much more easily.

However, I do not find it so easy replying to other peoples' posts because, like you, I worry about saying the wrong thing or upsetting someone.

I find chat rooms more difficult because of the pressure of giving an immediate response. At least on message boards there is time to think about what to say. I saw my therapist today and she said she thought chat rooms are a good half-way house for me to practice communicating without having to speak. So looks like I'll have to practice that!

Be proud of yourself. You're doing well.

Best wishes,

Briary

[xXx~Jo~xXx]

Hi Peter, lucky and briary.

Im glad to hear i am not alone worrying about it and also chat rooms to. I have only posted a few times today and i am finding it is getting easier so im going to keep at it (you wont be able to shut me up now!) Thanks for your replys.

Take care Love Jo x

[seh1980]

Hi Jo,

i do know what you mean. However, I think that because everyone here is in the same boat, we will all understand that you or anyone else would not purposely try to hurt or offend someone. I'm sure that everything is taken with a pinch of salt.

Sarah (seh1980):D

[Meg]

If zou're new here or to anz other board just remember that not everzone has been brought up / raised similarlz so bz all post zour experiences which we maz all learn from but go easz at trzing to solve others issues for them form zour point of view.

Suggesting a varietz of options is generallz better than something specific . If it was that easz thez'd have figured it out themselves .



Meg

Anxiety is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind.
If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained.
Robert Albert Bloch

[stimpy]

I am curious to know whether anyone else worrys about posting or chatting to people online.....

The answer to that is a great big Yes

Infact I was even afraid to post here, and Steve used to have to post for me.

Not like me at all as I was, (and am returning to a total chatterbox.)

My biggest problem was the fear that I was talking nonsense.
Steve assures me that I always talk nonsense and no one would notice anyway. [:P]
I often wondered if what came out of my mouth or fingers made sense.
I would often ask if what I said sounded sensible.

- if that makes sense.

I am 100% sure that it is all social phobia related.
And in my case poor concentration related.

It is easy to worry that what you say may be percieved wrongly and will offend someone. Even though you don't mean too.

I found that even the whole online chat thing started to freak me out.
The woman who wrote the internet guide to chatting afraid to talk ! - can you believe it!

I am slowly returning to being an internet gossip.
I find hiding behind the monitor thing helps, not to mention the fact that if you have had enough and need a rest you can excuse yourself, by saying the phone is ringing and you have to go. ;)

Love, light and Best wishes
Liz xxx
With hard work and determination and all the things you know.
The world is there for you to take. There's nowhere you can't go.


[:p]Scatty Eccentric & 'Poet Laureate to panic and anxiety'

[kate]

I've been feeling the same way for a while now.

I read a post, go to reply to it, and then think my thoughts etc aren't worth writing, so I don't bother.

Also, if I DO reply to a post and noone acknowledges my reply, I feel hurt and embarassed [:I]

Dunno why, must be a panic thing I suppose [:O]

Kate

[nomorepanic]

Kate

You know that I feel like that sometimes too - I post and they don't reply so I think I have upset them.

Even just a few words can help though - you don't have to write an essay, sometimes just a quick reply to say "thinking of you" helps.

Even if you can't offer much advice then just to acknowledge the post is sometimes enough.

You will find that I reply to most posts but don't always have much to say and I stay away from some posts when I don't think I can offer any advice.

We all have advice and most of it helps someone even if you don't think it does so keep posting away.

Jo - we don't mind how long/short your posts are so don't worry about it.

There have been very few occasions that someone posted something that upset someone else on here and most get sorted out like Lucky said so don't worry ok?

Nicola

[sal]

Hi Jo

I think every knows where you are coming from there.

It is hard as you can interpret things written down the wrong way, especially as you cant see the facial expressions.

I think we all would get upset if no one posted to our posts, but there is always some one there wanting to help and offer advice.





Love Sal xxxxx