I can't do this anymore..

[hearthstone25]

I finally made it to my cardiologist appointment today. They did nothing..

Apparently the inability to breathe isn't an emergency and a echocardiogram was scheduled for next Wendesday. That's 7 more days of hell..

I barely mentally made it to the actual appointment. My breathing has gotten worse in the past few days to the point where I can't sleep anymore. Soon as I go to sleep I wake up gasping for air. My heart also won't allow me to go to sleep as it won't allow itself to slow down enough for me to fall asleep, instead it speeds up and wakes me back.

I've had a total of 8 hours of sleep in the past 4 days because of this. Every minute of the day feels like an eternity to it self.

I've been to the ER countless times doing pointless tests that don't really show anything.

When I finally get to cardiologist I thought for the fact that I can't breathe anymore they'd send me over to echo so they can start treatment but no he doesn't care..

I just assume I'm going to die any second now. I'm going to lay in my room in the dark and not care anymore. Cardiologist wasn't the angel i was seeking.

Even if i make it to next wendesday for the echo, pretty sure I'm the end of the line anyway so itd just be news instead of actually a plan to get my heart back on track.

I've accepted this is it and theres no point in worrying anymore. I lived long enough I guess. Alot of people don't make it out of their 20s..

Ugh..

[MM]

Hi there,

Firstly, I'm sorry you've been having this breathing problem :( Especially since it's interfering with your sleep! I definitely know what it's like to not be able to sleep for days because of physical problems and worries.

Secondly, good on you on making it to the appointment! Know that the cardiologist doesn't think it's an emergency, so hence it's nothing serious :)

When I went to the cardiologist last year due to skipped beats and mild breathlessness, they didn't seem too concerned. Eventually I got the echo and all ended up being normal! My worrying definitely made my symptoms worse, though, and although I don't know how long you've been feeling this way I'm sure the thought of something being wrong is making the symptoms worse.

For now I suggest trying to distract yourself until your appointment, relax the best you can and sleep if you are able.

By the way, do you sleep on your back? and have you had an ECG/EKG?

[hearthstone25]

I've been sleeping on my back for awhile now.

I had mild breathlessness for the past 3 monthes but a few days ago it turned into what i have now which is a level above to the point where it wakes me up and is more noticeable while at rest during the day.

I've had 50 EKGs over the past 3 monthes but I don't see the point of them.

My echo is next Wendesday.

I've always been strong until now man. I lost it. I think the way the cardiologist didn't think it was big deal put me over the tipping point. I feel like it was more of a "youre dying but I'm rich and I don't care" than a "youre probably okay". I was literally crying. I told him I was barely making it through the day now how the hell can i make it through 7 more days to hear my fate?

If I do live til next week A small part of me wants to have an amazing next 7 days with my familiy and friends so it flys by and we have some good memories if the news is bad but the thing is i feel like dog crap. I'm a big dude 6'0" 220. I've always lived on 8-9 hours of sleep. If I get less than 6 which i have been I feel like death all damn day. I can't hang out with familiy and friends feeling that way..

[MM]

I suggest trying other sleeping positions, only because when I feel a bit breathless I feel better on my side. (not sure if this will work for you but maybe try?)

I guarantee that if something was seriously seriously wrong, it would've showed up on the EKGs. There is no doubt in my mind that worry, anxiety, aggravation, and sleeplessness make your symptoms worse. Maybe take a nice hot bath, spend time with your family and friends (maybe watch a movie, something that doesn't require much movement), and get your mind off of things (which I know is very hard).

I know what it's like to seriously feel something is wrong and to feel like the doctors don't care and that they only want your money, and it hurts, but there's nothing you can do except be patient til Wednesday.

I believe in you, and I believe everything will be okay. :hugs:

[Fishmanpa]

50 EKGs over the past 3 months


50 EKGs in 3 months?! That means you've had one on average every other day! H Stone, "something" would have showed up... The fact a cardiologist doesn't see anything urgent and ordered an echo (for reassurance purposes and to cover his butt), points to a non life threatening issue. What have the doctors actually told you they think is going on? I would think they've suggested anxiety as you're posting here. I hope you find some relief. You're much too young to be bogged down with worries like this.

Positive thoughts

[hearthstone25]

I'll post here everyday to let everyone know im still here..

Not 50 but alot. I've had 6 though in the past 3 monthes but they never catch one of palpitations so them being normal doesn't mean anything.

The thing is I can't breathe. Last night/this morning/afternoon i layed down trying to sleep for about 12 hours. I finally fell asleep at some point and woke up a hour half maybe 2 hours laters. I had horrible palpitations this during this. So now for the past 5 days i have less than 12 hours of sleep.. :(

After this post I'mma try to fall asleep again. Probably lay here for hours and hours and nothing will happen..

It took awhile to get a cardiologist appointment as doctors first said its only anxiety. I've had 50 million tests on everything but my heart. I'd actually be semi okay if my breathing didn't get worse days before the appointment.

So i gained some confidence that maybe it was all anxiety after all. but then boom the breathing got worse. I tried search function on here but nobody has palpitations and feeling breathless like i do. EVerybody that posts breathing problems say like "breathless for past hour am i dying?" or their breathing comes and goes.

I want to hang out and try to get my mind off things but my brain and body are in another dimension atm from the lack of sleep i've had. When I'm feeling weird like this i don't like being around other people as it freaks me out.

I don't think someone with heart failure, Im assuming thats what i have, can live that long without treatment. For someone who can't breathe a immediate echo should've been called. If something wrong a week is an awful long time to lose out on precious time to save somebody.

---------- Post added at 20:17 ---------- Previous post was at 20:02 ----------

I've also had 4 Chest x-rays but I'm having symptoms of left heart failure, not right heart failure. I heard x-rays don't really show anything and really only show maybe like 20% of problems a person can be having and theyre useless 80% of the time.

[NotCool]

Just a few facts I would like to point out:
- palpitations don't always mean that there is something wrong with your heart.
- palpitations can be caused by a wide variety of factors, such as feelings or diet.
- (health) anxiety and sleep disorders/issues are CLOSELY connected - they go hand in hand.
- experiencing suffocation kind of sensations when falling asleep/during sleeping is closely linked to stress and (health) anxiety.
- your body right now must be overwhelmed with stress hormones, and it's obvious you'll have to find a way to relax.

I really know how you feel - I've had the good ole' heart scare from Autumn (october) last year up until January, constant feeling of dread that thereis something wrong with me. Whenever I went to the doctor, they put me on an ECG, and similar to you, palps. never happened during that time, so other than the raised heart beat, they caught nothing. Then I've gotten a cardiologist appointment, with a physical exam, a tread mill stress test, and a 24h holter monitor, where they didn't find anything.

That gave me some relief, but I'm still getting frequent palpitations, even when working out, but I choose to ignore it. It's hard though. Good luck.

[hearthstone25]

Thank you. The palpitations didn't worry me as much anymore until my breathing got worse. The thing with the sleep apnea is that it's not like im breathing okay then i wake up gasping for air during sleep. My breathing issues also are while im awake which make it hard to fall asleep.

I haven't had that relief yet. Playing the waiting game for what seems like will be an eternity is what worries me. All day today, friday, saturday, sunday, monday.. it sends me into a panic attack thinking about it. Other people around me are like its only a week. I try telling them, hold your breath for a week, see if its easy..

I want to work out so bad as thats one of the things that keeps me from losing it but if i have a heart problem i dont want to screw up my chances of geting better by a couple workouts.

---------- Post added at 21:49 ---------- Previous post was at 20:43 ----------

Well I tried going to sleep but the kind of palpitations that jolt u awake as u falling asleep kept happening... looking like its going to be another day of hell..

[hearthstone25]

Half way through.

I like to think that all my problems will go away if my echocardiogram and holter monitor come out okay.

I pray every day thats whats going to happen. Nothing about surgery or bad news just "youre okay". Then my symptoms will disapear.

My breathing actually went back to normal which help ease my mind a little but Im having bad palpitations when Im trying to sleep. It's like when my heart tries to slow down enough for me to fall asleep and my body is ready out of no where itll thump loudly and speed up jolting my whole body. Anybody know of any rememdies that may help these palpitations that happen while falling asleep?

I think theyll go away if i somehow end up being okay but till wednesday if theres anything i could try before bed. Help would be appreciated..

[nomorepanic]

Has anyone taught you how to breathe correctly from the abdomen?

Shallow breathing will cause the breathlessness

[hearthstone25]

I've been sticking out my big o gut out instead of tucking it in tight as i can.

The deep breathing thing freaks me out. Theres one reason why i cant do hypnosis or relax breathing techniques and its because of the deep breathing. I dont know if this is part of my heart problem if i have one but I can hear my heart beating. I mean i dont have to tough myself anything to feel it. I can hear it and i can feel my heart beating. Idk if that is usual. But when i do deep breathing the heart beating feeling and hearing is more empathic i mean i focus on my heart more because im focusing on my body with the rbeathing then it freaks me out and instead of relaxing its makes me more anxious.

[jacobean]

Hi Heartstone,

I had this exact same thing. Especially the waking up gasping for air. I have had palpitations for years and then developed breathing issues. I could not catch my breath. This was during a very traumatic time after my father died, I got ME/CFS and then lost my job due to it.

So I was in a bad place and the breathing made it hell. I was yawning, sighing, gasping. But the *worst* thing was at night. I could not sleep. Basically I would drop off and wake, over and over and over again gasping for breath. I felt like I was losing my mind. I couldn't find anything about it online. I mean, there was stuff re sleep apnea, but people with sleep apnea don't know they are waking up. And I am a healthy weight female, and doc said very unlikely have sleep apnea. I'd sleep for two minutes then wake up gasping. I was exhausted and don't know how I got through some days.

Then I saw a physio who saved my sanity! She explained that I have chronic hyperventilation syndrome. (I still have it - as its chronic lol - but so far touch wood its more under control). This is a very disordered way of breathing but it is NOT dangerous - just horrible. They think most people who have it have had it most of their lives, but it can become symptomatic at times for various reasons.

You can find lots of stuff about it online. There is also an amazing organisation called Breathworks that run Mindfulness courses for people with all sorts of issues but who are really into the importance of breathing well.

You can get books from their website here in the UK and I imagine they ship to the US - or if not you could look at their books and see if one works for you and order it on amazon.

There is also a book by Dinah Bradley called: Hyperventilation Syndrome. Breathing Pattern Disorders and how to Overcome them. It also reassures you re your symptoms, palpitations are a very common symptom of over breathing.

Re the breathing exercises and hypno. I was JUST The same. I read your comments and felt for you so much as been there, done that and it's hell! But...here's what my physio taught me. Instead of lying there for ages trying to deep breath just do it for literally one minute. Just one minute. But say five or six times a day. Also the thing isn't to breathe deep. That will make you hyperventilate more (oh, and this is not the dangerous sort of hyperventilation, that's a different animal altogether and this doesn't tip over into that either - I went through four years of this and never had any sort of emergency!). What to do is place one hand on your chest, lying down with your upper body on a pillow and your legs bent over a pillow, and one on your abdomen. Take a couple of your normal breaths. Watch the hands. The hand on your chest shouldn't really move, only the one on your abdomen. Then take a few slow, low breaths into your abdomen - not deep. Slow and low. Do this just once or twice if it freaks you out then forget about it till next time.

The other thing I did when I was too wired by this horrible syndrome to do the meditation etc was to buy a progressive muscle relaxation CD. They don't focus too much on your breathing but get you to tense and relax every muscle in your body in a certain order. I found this so helpful. Once I got to the point where i began not to fear the breathing exercises I could do more. And for me the best thing ever has been a hypnotherapy tape, and I didn't used to be able to listen to them, but now I listen to one for relaxation every day.

I also am starting a mindfulness course as I truly believe it can be of huge help with these sorts of things.

It isn't only caused by anxiety. I used to be a call center worker and so used my voice all day at work and this can bring it on too. One famous actress nearly had to quit her job because of it before she got treatment (can't remember who now).

Have the tests for reassurance - but I cannot reccommend enough looking into hyperventilation syndrome.

I wish you all the best - I truly know the hell of this because the gasping at night thing is the worst symptom as it feels so out of your control - it happens while you sleep and you can't control that. But with time and the breathing exercises and letting your body learn how to relax, it can get better.

Best wishes.

[hearthstone25]

Thank you for commenting. I just woke up from a nightmare and was almost having an anxiety attack because i was thinking i finally find some way to sleep through the shortness of breath and palpitations then i have crazy nightmares that wake me up? This was another moment where it finally tiped me over but I said my prayers then got on here and read your post. I feel better now fo sho.

The breathing thing and palpitations(the ones that jolt you awake while falling asleep so you can't fall asleep) are destroying my life. Its coming to a point now where I don't rmember what it was like before. When life was normal and the stresses i had was with my job or drama with girls or whatever normal crap. It makes me think if life ever becomes normal again I'm not going to bitch about small things like before. Going through this is going to make me a very strong person..

Thank you again. Ill look into that definitely.

[jacobean]

Hi hearthstone.

So sorry you had a bad night. I am glad my comment helped a little. It's such a lonely thing. Everyone else is sleeping and yet our symptoms are so bad, we can't even sleep.

I remember for years wanting this damn thing to go away. I would have - literally - given a finger or a toe or something crazy in exchange for it to go away. It's like being trapped by your own body.

I def rec the Dinah Bradley book as a first port of call.

Funnily enough I have been pretty breathless for first time in ages last couple days as I am on some meds that are scaring me to death. And my husband and step father were both taken into hospital last week as urgent cases so I have been very anxious. It's horrible. Wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

Let me know how you get on :)

[hearthstone25]

Im sorry to hear that. I hope you find your zone and is okay. And your family..

I'm actually currently having panic attack at 4:25 am. My breathing actually isnt the worst thing in the world atm. It's the stupid palpitations that happen when I'm only trying to fall asleep. Im having bad thoughts of giving up and saying screw it. I had a good day today. Breahting was mild. No palpitations during the daylight. I go to lay down and say to myself it's been a good day now time to go to sleep.. close eye and bam Heart pounds and jolts my body.

That literally giving a finger or toe thing made me think. You know if someone offered me a free million dollars over the next year OR 8 hours of easy sleep a day. Id take the sleep so fast.. thats all i want in the world. Don't F with my sleep.... :(

It looks like youre offline hopefully that good sign you made it to bed. After Im done typing this post Im trying again and praying to God i make it as Im super paranoid as how much sleep can a person miss?...

Allright Godspeed..

[jacobean]

hey Hearthstone,

Sorry to hear things are so bad. A person can miss a LOT of sleep. Trust me I did at my worst.

Also people with sleep apnea, say, hardly get any sleep as they wake up all the time but don't know it and they are often years undiagnosed. My own mum has a rare sleep disorder called REM sleep movement disorder - which means she moves about (Like a lot - she runs about the house and has broken her shoulder running headlong into the wardrobe!) and it means her sleep isn't resting her as she's actually not ever going into the deep sleep patterns most of us do. And she's seventy :) Plus she has a congenital heart murmur she was born with and is still here with hardly any sleep all her life and she only got diagnosed last year (she's on melatonin now and so does finally get to sleep the three nights a week she takes it).

You can go a looong time with the bits and bobs of sleep you do catch.

Please do not give up or say screw it. You will look back on this and it will be like a distant memory. I know it seems impossible to imagine now but you will. I promise! Either the docs will find something - unlikely but if so they can treat it. My father in law has every heart condition under the sun and he's here are nearly eighty and in fine form! Or - as is more likely -they won't and then you can be finally reassured about your herat and start then to work on reducing your adrenaline levels which will likely be really high. Probably cortisol too from all the anxiety.

One thing that worked for me was starting to read romances but you're probably not up for that :) Romances for some reason reduce your cortisol levels more than valium! I saw it on a sceince programme here in the UK. So I started reading them and it worked and now I am hooked lol.

I also buy box sets of comedies for days when I feel bad in bed and have a small dvd player - so its not like having the big tv on and I put them on on that and watch with the sound low - so I am not just lying there. Its things like this that slowly start to help along with the other stuff. Once you've had your MOT you can hopefully start to slowly relax and you'll see the very bad thoughts go when that happens.

Hang in there *hugs*

[hearthstone25]

Romance is specially not my thing right now because my gf of 2 years and i had a huge fight 2 weeks ago. She wanted to go a party and i said i was having palpitations and wasn't feeling well then she yelled at me saying "youre never feeling well!" and told me i was selfish because of my health issues.. I told her i cant even fatham how she can say such things to me at the moment as im having a really hard time. She was suppose to stay the night but she said she was staying at her moms instead. We haven't talked since then. That helped my stress levels alot ^sarcasm

I watch amazon instant on my labtop in bed. I've been watching The Wire this past week. Its helped alot. 2 more days until my echo and other tests. Almost there..

Usually Id hang out with my friends every day playing Call of Duty and whatever but I dont feel like myself. I dont know if it's derealization or what but i feel weird and i dont like being around other people when i feel this way.

Thanks for the hug!

[hearthstone25]

So good news.. They gave me the echocardiogram early. I ran in there having a mild attack and told them i needs it i dont have the power!! Haha They said it was cool.
The echo came out great. They said my heart is super healthy. Like over 9,000.

But its not over. My anxiety is still up there as I'm hooked up to a holtor moniter for 24 hours. The problem i ahve is im on google and readding about adnormal heartbeats can be serious even if your echo comes out good and you can just randomly die from them.

[jennywren13]

Just wanted to pop in and ask if you have had your thyroid checked?

Instead of a cardiologist maybe you need to see an Endocrinologist?
The sleeplessness, difficulty breathing and fast heart rate (along with a MULTITUDE of other symptoms) could be attributed to your thyroid.

Don't give up! We all have a hell of a journey trying to find the right doctor or medication or therapy or treatment for us.

You are not alone. Come on here and vent away. We are all at different points on the same journey to wellness xxx

[claireypoo]

I had a similar thing. I'd just fall asleep then I'd wake up gasping for air, a huge gasp, and waking up in a panic, heart racing, feeling like crap, sometimes 40 odd times a night. My already poor sleep suffered. Was awful. I read somewhere that it was caused by caffeine. I cut out caffeine after 3pm and now I very rarely get them. If you're not already doing that, it might be worth a try? X