Feels like a Life Sentence

[GlobusGirl32]

I'm having a hard time these days. Right before bed is the worst. Even when I'm not anxious the symptoms take control and drive me crazy. It feels like I'm stuck in solitary confinement that will last until I die. I know, wicked mellow dramatic.. but I'm past the crying phase, begging for it to go away, praying, hoping.. I'm just all out of ideas. The way my heart acts abnormally, the way my throat feels like it will close at any moment, the floaty feeling I get at work that I have to ignore, when I drift off to sleep at night and jump awake cuz of the 'pretty positive I'm about to die... the list goes on.

I just needed to vent. I'm only 24. I shouldn't be in constant feat and agony

[MM]

Hey,

I know what you mean. I'm 21 and every physical symptom drives me crazy! I want to go out more and there's a list of things I want to do but I always feel sick :( Anxiety is absolutely horrible. We just have to take it one day at a time.

[cjemc]

Hey,

I know what you mean. I'm 21 and every physical symptom drives me crazy! I want to go out more and there's a list of things I want to do but I always feel sick :( Anxiety is absolutely horrible. We just have to take it one day at a time.

Same here. I cant see beyond one day at a time now as I never know how I am going to feel. This sucks big time. Today I thought I was going to die, sweat pouring off of me and couldn't breathe. But then again there is a heat wave here in England at the moment :ohmy:

[AnxietyDJ]

It's so tough... I have definitely been there where almost all day, every day you feel terrible. For me, one of the keys was to try and change my lifestyle a little - just simple things like cutting right down on caffeine and alcohol and trying to eat more fruit and veg... It really made a difference!

I hope you can find a way to get through this - remember that we are always here for you, come rain or shine :)

[.Poppy.]

Like many others, I have been there. Right around the time my health anxiety started to get really bad, I had a lump on my neck that I was too terrified to see a doctor for (I eventually did and it ended up being a swollen lymph node - no worries) but I was convinced it was cancer. Some nights, I would get out of bed and go downstairs because I felt like I was going to die. And, of course, with health anxiety came a myriad of other "illnesses" - some had me awake for fear of going to sleep while others had me so drained all I wanted to do was sleep.

I did a really, really good job of getting over most of my health anxiety about 3 years ago. I still have GAD but the HA was really under control - and since that was my main concern, a lot of my anxiety started to fall away. Like I said, I still had my anxieties and sometimes panic attacks, but it all felt really okay. When I was suffering form HA I prayed for "real world problems" like stressing over tests or meetings or whatever instead of illnesses that I knew I was making up but couldn't get over.

Now, I have GAD really terribly, mostly because I'm going through a rough patch - just graduated college with no job on the horizon, my father makes me feel worthless for this, had to move out from my house with my friends and back in with my parents, and I have a new puppy that I am terrified is going to end up being a bad dog. So I'm back to the pattern of being so tired that all I want to do is sleep, but when night comes I have trouble sleeping because my mind won't turn off. And I want to get past it and tell myself I'm being crazy, but again, the other half of me just won't listen.

What helps me is I'll open up my computer and put on Netflix. Usually a show that I've found comforting in the past, like The Office or Psych. I'll watch it for a little while and it will relax me and I'll drift off to sleep. It's not always a restful as it should be, since I'll wake up if the computer powers off or whatever but it is MUCH better than laying awake and ruminating over all my problems.

Anxiety is rough. It's hard to find people who are understanding of it unless they've been there, and since there are so many different ways it manifests and different severities, it's even hard to find someone who REALLY understands, even if they've had their own battles. I think the hardest part is when people tell you to just calm down and get over it as if it's easy. If it were so easy, we'd all do it. :winks: But just hang on - you'll get there and you'll find what works for you and makes you feel better; and hopefully those methods will transfer to the future.

[GlobusGirl32]

I absolutely understand how you are feeling. When it comes to HA and GAD.. I was also diagnosed with PD (Panic Disorder) and its so hard sometimes. Its hard to work seeing as how I do suffer from a mild form of Agoraphobia. Plus Ill feel a weird feeling in a limb, or a twitch or an ache that automatically puts me in anxiety mode thinking its something that will harm me or make me pass out or die. Its something most people will look at you like your crazy because they dont understand. It has definently got better since last year when I was at my lowest and first found out what was going on. And now, when Im at work and feel so anxious to the point I want to just leave and get in my bed, ill put on Netflix and sneak a peek at my favorite shows. It really does help sometimes! :)

[GlobusGirl32]

Like many others, I have been there. Right around the time my health anxiety started to get really bad, I had a lump on my neck that I was too terrified to see a doctor for (I eventually did and it ended up being a swollen lymph node - no worries) but I was convinced it was cancer. Some nights, I would get out of bed and go downstairs because I felt like I was going to die. And, of course, with health anxiety came a myriad of other "illnesses" - some had me awake for fear of going to sleep while others had me so drained all I wanted to do was sleep.

I did a really, really good job of getting over most of my health anxiety about 3 years ago. I still have GAD but the HA was really under control - and since that was my main concern, a lot of my anxiety started to fall away. Like I said, I still had my anxieties and sometimes panic attacks, but it all felt really okay. When I was suffering form HA I prayed for "real world problems" like stressing over tests or meetings or whatever instead of illnesses that I knew I was making up but couldn't get over.

Now, I have GAD really terribly, mostly because I'm going through a rough patch - just graduated college with no job on the horizon, my father makes me feel worthless for this, had to move out from my house with my friends and back in with my parents, and I have a new puppy that I am terrified is going to end up being a bad dog. So I'm back to the pattern of being so tired that all I want to do is sleep, but when night comes I have trouble sleeping because my mind won't turn off. And I want to get past it and tell myself I'm being crazy, but again, the other half of me just won't listen.

What helps me is I'll open up my computer and put on Netflix. Usually a show that I've found comforting in the past, like The Office or Psych. I'll watch it for a little while and it will relax me and I'll drift off to sleep. It's not always a restful as it should be, since I'll wake up if the computer powers off or whatever but it is MUCH better than laying awake and ruminating over all my problems.

Anxiety is rough. It's hard to find people who are understanding of it unless they've been there, and since there are so many different ways it manifests and different severities, it's even hard to find someone who REALLY understands, even if they've had their own battles. I think the hardest part is when people tell you to just calm down and get over it as if it's easy. If it were so easy, we'd all do it. :winks: But just hang on - you'll get there and you'll find what works for you and makes you feel better; and hopefully those methods will transfer to the future.

I hope you are doing much better these days <3
I got better for a while and I'm going through a rough patch but rereading this made me wonder about you!

[Juggar]

Same here. I cant see beyond one day at a time now as I never know how I am going to feel. This sucks big time. Today I thought I was going to die, sweat pouring off of me and couldn't breathe. But then again there is a heat wave here in England at the moment :ohmy:

Exactly how I feel sometimes, after I had a panic attack 7 months ago it's just been one day at a time. Feels like slow torture. I never know if I'll be able to sleep or if I'll have another attack randomly. The constant hyper awareness of my breathing and pretty much anything else on your body you can be hyper aware to... Living in fear sucks.

I agree, it does feel like a life sentence. Oh well, we just keep on keeping on no matter what. If it's one day at a time so be it.

[GlobusGirl32]

Exactly how I feel sometimes, after I had a panic attack 7 months ago it's just been one day at a time. Feels like slow torture. I never know if I'll be able to sleep or if I'll have another attack randomly. The constant hyper awareness of my breathing and pretty much anything else on your body you can be hyper aware to... Living in fear sucks.

I agree, it does feel like a life sentence. Oh well, we just keep on keeping on no matter what. If it's one day at a time so be it.

The fear of the fear... So draining.

[MrDanny]

Yes i have had the falling asleep to then be "jerked" awake out of fear i wouldnt wake up. Getting no sleep was the worse but my body goes to sleep if i like it or not eventually. When i had that fear i had to force myself to sleep, i even had to face the fear "well if i die so be it" it was the only way for me.

[GlobusGirl32]

Yes i have had the falling asleep to then be "jerked" awake out of fear i wouldnt wake up. Getting no sleep was the worse but my body goes to sleep if i like it or not eventually. When i had that fear i had to force myself to sleep, i even had to face the fear "well if i die so be it" it was the only way for me.

I do that often.. the "if it happens so be it"
We take all the relief we can get