need to help my daughter

[jadeen]

Hello everyone, I just really need some advice on how I can help my daughter.
Okay, I am a single parent and my 14 yr old daughter has been suffering with GAD for the last 18 mths.Speaking to someon at CAHMS helped her for a while, but she is now worse than ever and has a school phobia.She has missed about 6mths of education, only managing to get in once or twice a week for a couple of hours, and no school work was done as she would be having panic attacks and sitting in the medical room for most of the time.
After a LOT of calls to the school asking them for work for her to be doing at home, we were only given some after I contacted the council education department.My daughterhas tried studying some of this work at home, and broke down in tears tonight when I mentioned that she needed to do more studying as she has been avoiding it.She admitted that when she tries to read a textbook she has forgotten everything that she had previously learnt and is finding it imposssible to study.It does seem wrong that she is expected to learn all this work by herself, and I just don't know how to help.
She has been taking Fluoxetine for about 3mths and she seems happier in herself slightly, but all this worry about catching up on schoolwork is bringing her down, and I don't really think that the fluoxetine has helped her anxiety at all, just her depression.
Tonight she was sobbing in my arms saying that everything was too hard, was sick of people telling her "well done" if she attended half a school lesson and that she only got out of bed and pretended everything was fine for Apologies for this post being long and rambling, I was hoping that after she started her medication and had some schoolwork to cath up on that things would get better for her.I am just so sad and worried for her, has anyone else had or have any experience like this.

[LunaLiuna]

Hello Jadeen,

I actually went through this myself, it started three years ago where I had to leave school and be home tutored. I'm sorry to hear your both going through this.

Firstly you mentioned CAHMS, is she still speaking to them? I know I couldn't even go outside at one point so they happily came round weekly to talk through things and do therapies like exposure therapy, which would be great for your daughter as it applies to the school thing.

Regarding education, I HIGHLY recommend you look into NISAI online learning, in fact here's the link http://www.nisai.com/
If you look into that by enquiring about it through CAHMS they should be able to secure funding for you. It has been invaluable for me in continuing my education. They offer both GSCE and AS-A2 courses.

Your probably right about the medication, from personal experience it only treats the depression, not the Anxiety.

The most you can do for her at the moment is give her love and support, lot's of it. When my family all came together for me it was sooooo much easier to cope with. Encourage her friends to get involved also, I sadly missed out on that. Anyway, good luck to both of you, the road to recovery can be a little long but you will get there. If there's anything you need please don't hesitate to message me.

[jadeen]

Hi, thanks for your reply.Regarding her attending CAHMS she hasn't really had any appointments with her CAHMS nurse for a few months, in fact her nurse has actually told me that she is probably going to be dismissing her soon as she says that there is nothing else she can really tell her as she has learnt all the coping techniques etc.., plus my daughter is sick of same old same old with her and feels patronised by her now.To be honest she is no great loss, she was always a bit ditzy, setting her homework one week, totally forgetting about it the next.It's just that my daughter appears to be fine one moment, the next she is so sad and low, whenever I try to suggest self help books, articles, or forums like this one she gets mad and closes down.Will she ever get better I wonder and return to school .She knows that she has my love and support, but it just dosen't really seem to help her.

[LunaLiuna]

I think the thing to keep in mind is to not over do it, just be there for her when she needs it. Anything more and it'll make her feel as if shes a burden. Just think of how you would feel. Give her the options so that she chooses her own way out. For me there was nothing worse than everyone in my life telling me to do this and do that as it's simply not that easy.

Is there a possibility of a different nurse? She will need that extra support. Or even if she could get in touch with someone who is going through similar, that would help. I know there are plenty of forums for younger people.

In my case I never returned to school, but that hasn't affected my education. But yes, she will get better over time, how long that time is I have no idea. All you can do for her is give the support and lay out her options so that she can make her own way through this.

[jadeen]

Thank you