backto505
22-07-14, 08:08
So 3 months ago, I was sent to A&E after I felt dizzy whilst laying in bed watching tv, I had a pulse rate of 180 and was scared I was going to die. I'm only 20 but since then my life has changed. I was given a beta blocker and sent home the next day. They put it down to tachycardia. I then went on to propanalol 40mg 3 times, sometimes 4 times a day. I was constantly worried I was going to have a heart attack! I started getting dizzy, twitching all over, upset and convinced there was something seriously wrong with me! I cut my dose down and started feeling much better, minus the horrible thoughts. I then went from 40mg to nothing at all, and about 2 days later my anxiety was through the roof and I am convinced there's something seriously wrong. My right leg feels like it doesn't want to keep up with the rest of my body, I cannot sleep, and every time I'm about to nod off, I jerk awake! I feel sick, upset and I don't even feel real anymore. Doctors and hospitals are constantly telling me I am physically fine and this is all anxiety. They've since put me on 2mg of diazepam when I need it, and Mitrazapine at nights. It helps with the anxiety but makes me feel like I'm not even real. To top it all off, I have a raised lymph node on the right side of my neck. A nurse has told me it feels fine and normal, but with how I feel I'm just so scared. Life is impossible at the moment and it feels like everything is falling apart around me. I just don't know what to do any more. Each morning I wake up just to try and survive to the next day. That's all I am, and I want a real life back.