Total relapse referred back to CBT

[Shivmarie]

Hi guys, been a while.
Struggling alot at the moment so much so GP referred me to iapt who referred me back to my CBT therapist I seem before. Phq9 is 19, gad7 is 20.
Fears of death and poor health taking its toll again, triggered by a few young people dying, working in GP surgery coming across things,deaths are pretty sudden. Convinced it's me next, live alone so I panic that nobody will even know I'm gone.
Have a suspected UTI..feel lousy, convinced my kidneys are giving in. Aswell as bad bowels. Constantly weighing myself looking for red flags. Dr ringing about this today.
Can't function, morbid thoughts and mild hallucinations during the night
Really struggling :-(

[claireypoo]

I've just been referred back again because my health anxiety is in the stratosphere too, so I know how awful it feels. *hugs* I've had health anxiety for 8 years now and thought that I was over the worst. I used to get hallucinations at night too. GP called them hypnopompic and hypnogogic - really really weird. Spirals and lattices, lights, flashing green and pink triangles! I thought I was going cuckoo. Oh and red flags are my thing too at the mo. Weight loss (I'm dieting and want to lose weight, but scared when I do) hair loss (anaemia?) thoroughly scared. I am trying not to check my body for signs or Google, but it is hard. From past experience I know that stopping safety behaviours does make me feel better after a while, but the first few days are always the worst for me. I am working on a book I got from Kindle Overcoming Health Anxiety by Dr Katherine Owen. Early days yet, but I'm determined not to get trampled by this again. X
Hope you feel better soon.

[Shivmarie]

Thanks Claire.
It's horrid. I'm glad (but not glad) someone can relate to the hallucinations and that there is an actual name for them.
It's awful, I'm not as bad as I was first time around, but I feel if I get no help I will completely spiral.
I feel the fuzzy headed ness a lot, the nausea. I haven't googled, and I can kind of problem solve, ie my headaches do not equal brain tumour etc, where as previous I was terrible I was convinced every pain was something awful.
My dr has given me some antibiotics for my UTI, I've always got to have some bloods done because I had low folate levels in January, but that's fine.
Working in a GP surgery I can be positive about things and speak to someone but the other end when you came across things such as deaths etc, it really catches me out, I took a call about a girl that had passed, 17, then bam my anxiety flared, I think if I hadn't taken the call, would I be ok? Or is it just something else.
Had a lot of stress, relationship ended badly in May, he moved out so I had financial stress, my job is up and down I don't have one week where my shifts stay the same, so I know it can all be triggers but I'm just really struggling and my brain has blocked out my previous techniques CBT taught me which were incredibly helpful.
I hope you get on better soon :-) x

[claireypoo]

I tend to forget my cbt. But you are right. Not as bad as at first. :) Must be hard working in a GP surgery. I am always in hospitals with my daughter. Hard to avoid health stuff if you are faced with it every day! X I don't know how nurses and doctors cope with it all! X We will get there. X

[Jonesle]

Hi there
I'm currently having a bit of a relapse. I mean I was only good for a few weeks without my therapist and I'm back to square 1 :( this hot weather isn't helping, night sweats anyone?! I freaked out on my partner last night when he said he wasn't hot "IT IS HOT IN HERE THOUGH ISNT IT????"
What are we like :(
Xxx

[Shivmarie]

Oh gosh it's awful.
Yeah I get so hot so I convince myself that I have a temperature and that I am really ill, when within 5 minutes it passes. I mean If I had a temperature I'd not be able to function really would I. I seem to forget that I'm anxious and it makes me have hot sweats, when I'm calm I can sort of realise it but when it's heightened I cannot get through to that part of my brain.
During the night and the hallucinations got me

[Ruby13]

Hugs being sent to you all. As for the night sweats, yes.......this humid weather does not help, then when we waken in the night, the brain starts working overtime.

[Shivmarie]

Thanks Ruby.
Really trying to stay positive.