BrotatoChip
25-07-14, 04:29
Hello, first time poster on this forum, figured it might help me to post here about myself.
I'm a 19 year old male and I am very worried about my health. I generally would classify myself as healthy, but as of late I've become more and more worried about the smallest of things.
To give a bit of insight on my life of worrying about my health, the first time I was seriously worried was when I was around 12. I was swimming with my brother when I suddenly felt disconnected from my body (as in, I knew I was there, I knew what was happening, I could control myself but it felt as if I was merely spectating everything I was doing). I put it down to being tired from swimming and just rested it off. I started to get this surreal feeling more often. I got it especially after physical activity and being in a sauna (I'm Finnish so sauna was something I did quite often). I was very worried but didn't tell my mother about my woes in fear of going to the doctor and having something serious diagnosed. Later on I've put all this on me being overweight and having little to no physical activity at the time when I had "attacks" like that.
One thing I also noticed around that age was my way of speaking. I found myself often mispronouncing words completely by accident, getting words mixed up and overall saying things that didn't make sense. Being friends with another person with a similar problem (him saying a lot of unnecessary words in between sentences and somewhat stuttering) and knowing my father isn't quite the master of words I decided not to worry about it.
At the age of 15 I had the first headache of my life that I would classify as a migraine. It started rather slowly, by me having a minor headache an hour or two before, and it progressed to the point where I could do nothing but lay in bed in the dark and have a cold wrap on my head. Again, knowing people with similar problems (my older step brother having common migraines at about my age) and a friend who had migraines throughout his life that started suddenly and became progressively worse made me worry less about it. During that year I had a similar headache once more, which I put down to being a migraine, again.
During the same year's winter I got my first one sided headache. A sharp pain in the temporal area of the left side of my head that came and went. At this point I got really worried of having something serious, first thinking it was a tumor. Later on after googling articles about conditions as such (which in retrospect was not the brightest idea as this really fueled my anxieties) I diagnosed myself with having an aneurysm. I thought to myself; if this type of headache was to happen again in my life, I'd actually do something about it and tell my parents to take me to the hospital. It didn't happen.
Another thing I noticed around this time was the fact that I sometimes felt slight pressure in some areas of my head. Mainly on my lobes it sometimes felt as if someone was pressing ever so slightly on it with two fingers. This "pressure" was never accompanied by pain, confusion, fatigue or any other symptom. Also, sometimes I felt the skin on my face being "tight" and developed a habit of pinching my face to ensure I still felt something on my face and wasn't having a stroke or something.
After this it was smooth sailing for a while. For quite a while, actually, at least two years. During this time I had minor headaches here and there but didn't really worry about them.
Fast forward to the June of 2014. I, for some reason, started having minor anxiety attacks in situations where I couldn't "escape". The first one from this summer I can remember was in a rehearsal for my graduation. I was standing in the middle of 99 other students, in a hot, poorly air conditioned gym hall. I started to feel as if I couldn't breath and felt for a while as if I was about to black out. I had to focus on breathing regularly in order not to hyperventilate. The same kind of thing happened in other obscure situations such as being in a car with my friends. Sitting in the backseat I for some reason started to worry about having a stroke (despite having literally no physical symptoms at the time -- no headache, no numbness, nothing). Again, I resorted to focusing on breathing deeply and pinching myself all over my body to ensure I wasn't having any numbness.
A week or so after this, disaster strikes. I come out of the shower and see my mother crying. She had gotten a text message from my aunt's husband that my aunt had cerebral hemorrhage. I was in shock. I was shaking and hugging my mother, both of us crying. Knowing that my mother's (and my aunt's, obviously) mother had died of a cerebral hemorrhage, I feared for the worst. Seeing my mother cry of fear over my aunt was the most heart wrenching thing ever in my life.
Luckily, she survived. She got to a hospital relatively quickly after she called an ambulance on herself (which I am infinitely grateful for, she was able to realize herself that she was having a serious medical emergency!), so she got treatment as soon as possible in that situation. She was operated for 4 hours, but she survived. Later on the doctors diagnosed that the hemorrhage was actually caused by a blood clot which ruptured a vein in her head. She's made great recovery thus far, already being able to walk with a crotch and slightly use her left arm.
Straight after this incident I developed a major fear of death, which reinvigorated my health anxiety. I started noticing (or rather thinking) that I had pressure in my chest as well, fearing for any and all cardiovascular emergencies. Every little headache I had, I knew for sure I was going to die. I became extremely anxious of my health, having trouble leaving my house without being afraid of dying. Going driving with my friends became a challenge, as I didn't want to die in the backseat of my friend's car. I believed I had serious symptoms when in reality I had none. Thinking of nothing but how I feel inside my head, every little noise I heard made me more nervous, thinking I had just ruptured something. I felt as if me being alive was depending on me staying alert for certain symptoms of any serious condition. I also reintroduced myself to the habit of pinching myself to somehow make sure I was alright. During summer heat simple things like fatigue made me feel like I was dying for sure.
At this point I honestly can't think of much else to say. I'll sum it up; My family has a history (my grandmother and my aunt) of cerebral hemorrhage, I've had some brain related symptoms in the past and I'm extremely afraid of death because of any cerebral emergency. Worrying about everything that I probably don't have, I want to end this hypochondriac behavior of mine before it gets any worse. Would greatly appreciate other people's views on my situation, my past symptoms and their own experiences with health anxiety relating to the brain.
I'm a 19 year old male and I am very worried about my health. I generally would classify myself as healthy, but as of late I've become more and more worried about the smallest of things.
To give a bit of insight on my life of worrying about my health, the first time I was seriously worried was when I was around 12. I was swimming with my brother when I suddenly felt disconnected from my body (as in, I knew I was there, I knew what was happening, I could control myself but it felt as if I was merely spectating everything I was doing). I put it down to being tired from swimming and just rested it off. I started to get this surreal feeling more often. I got it especially after physical activity and being in a sauna (I'm Finnish so sauna was something I did quite often). I was very worried but didn't tell my mother about my woes in fear of going to the doctor and having something serious diagnosed. Later on I've put all this on me being overweight and having little to no physical activity at the time when I had "attacks" like that.
One thing I also noticed around that age was my way of speaking. I found myself often mispronouncing words completely by accident, getting words mixed up and overall saying things that didn't make sense. Being friends with another person with a similar problem (him saying a lot of unnecessary words in between sentences and somewhat stuttering) and knowing my father isn't quite the master of words I decided not to worry about it.
At the age of 15 I had the first headache of my life that I would classify as a migraine. It started rather slowly, by me having a minor headache an hour or two before, and it progressed to the point where I could do nothing but lay in bed in the dark and have a cold wrap on my head. Again, knowing people with similar problems (my older step brother having common migraines at about my age) and a friend who had migraines throughout his life that started suddenly and became progressively worse made me worry less about it. During that year I had a similar headache once more, which I put down to being a migraine, again.
During the same year's winter I got my first one sided headache. A sharp pain in the temporal area of the left side of my head that came and went. At this point I got really worried of having something serious, first thinking it was a tumor. Later on after googling articles about conditions as such (which in retrospect was not the brightest idea as this really fueled my anxieties) I diagnosed myself with having an aneurysm. I thought to myself; if this type of headache was to happen again in my life, I'd actually do something about it and tell my parents to take me to the hospital. It didn't happen.
Another thing I noticed around this time was the fact that I sometimes felt slight pressure in some areas of my head. Mainly on my lobes it sometimes felt as if someone was pressing ever so slightly on it with two fingers. This "pressure" was never accompanied by pain, confusion, fatigue or any other symptom. Also, sometimes I felt the skin on my face being "tight" and developed a habit of pinching my face to ensure I still felt something on my face and wasn't having a stroke or something.
After this it was smooth sailing for a while. For quite a while, actually, at least two years. During this time I had minor headaches here and there but didn't really worry about them.
Fast forward to the June of 2014. I, for some reason, started having minor anxiety attacks in situations where I couldn't "escape". The first one from this summer I can remember was in a rehearsal for my graduation. I was standing in the middle of 99 other students, in a hot, poorly air conditioned gym hall. I started to feel as if I couldn't breath and felt for a while as if I was about to black out. I had to focus on breathing regularly in order not to hyperventilate. The same kind of thing happened in other obscure situations such as being in a car with my friends. Sitting in the backseat I for some reason started to worry about having a stroke (despite having literally no physical symptoms at the time -- no headache, no numbness, nothing). Again, I resorted to focusing on breathing deeply and pinching myself all over my body to ensure I wasn't having any numbness.
A week or so after this, disaster strikes. I come out of the shower and see my mother crying. She had gotten a text message from my aunt's husband that my aunt had cerebral hemorrhage. I was in shock. I was shaking and hugging my mother, both of us crying. Knowing that my mother's (and my aunt's, obviously) mother had died of a cerebral hemorrhage, I feared for the worst. Seeing my mother cry of fear over my aunt was the most heart wrenching thing ever in my life.
Luckily, she survived. She got to a hospital relatively quickly after she called an ambulance on herself (which I am infinitely grateful for, she was able to realize herself that she was having a serious medical emergency!), so she got treatment as soon as possible in that situation. She was operated for 4 hours, but she survived. Later on the doctors diagnosed that the hemorrhage was actually caused by a blood clot which ruptured a vein in her head. She's made great recovery thus far, already being able to walk with a crotch and slightly use her left arm.
Straight after this incident I developed a major fear of death, which reinvigorated my health anxiety. I started noticing (or rather thinking) that I had pressure in my chest as well, fearing for any and all cardiovascular emergencies. Every little headache I had, I knew for sure I was going to die. I became extremely anxious of my health, having trouble leaving my house without being afraid of dying. Going driving with my friends became a challenge, as I didn't want to die in the backseat of my friend's car. I believed I had serious symptoms when in reality I had none. Thinking of nothing but how I feel inside my head, every little noise I heard made me more nervous, thinking I had just ruptured something. I felt as if me being alive was depending on me staying alert for certain symptoms of any serious condition. I also reintroduced myself to the habit of pinching myself to somehow make sure I was alright. During summer heat simple things like fatigue made me feel like I was dying for sure.
At this point I honestly can't think of much else to say. I'll sum it up; My family has a history (my grandmother and my aunt) of cerebral hemorrhage, I've had some brain related symptoms in the past and I'm extremely afraid of death because of any cerebral emergency. Worrying about everything that I probably don't have, I want to end this hypochondriac behavior of mine before it gets any worse. Would greatly appreciate other people's views on my situation, my past symptoms and their own experiences with health anxiety relating to the brain.