Driving anxiety

[Soul Fire]

I'm hoping someone on here has had similar experiences to hat I am going through right now. Hopefully someone can come along and help me rationalise this one.

Basically I've always loved driving but the anxiety I have been getting over the last 30 months has slowly managed to infiltrate my once beloved past time. I am absolutely terrified of unknowingly causing a car accident when I'm driving, I panic overtaking cyclists and fastidiously check they are still ok after I pass. If I forget to check a mirror when turning at a junction I'll worry that I've pulled out in front of someone in my blind spot. Any slight lapse in my attention will result in me either turning round to check that there's been no accident or it plays on my mind until the next thing replaces it.

My wife has been great with this but I can't keep relying on her and I need to be able to try and put this to rest. Does anyone have anything I can read that may help or can anyone talk me through their experience of this? Maybe there are readers who get this, can you share with me how you help to cope with this?

I just want to be clear, the anxiety is about unknowingly causing and accident where someone gets hurt. I am not scared of driving or not being in control and road rage/anger doesn't bother me nor do I get it with others.

Many thanks

SF

[crystal17]

Hi, I don't drive but I can definitely relate to those feelings. A book I read which lots of people on here recommend is Essential Help For Your Nerves. I didnt expect it to be any good but it helped LOADS!! The gist of it is that when you get all these mad thoughts about extremes that might have happened, instead of fighting them - embrace them, invite them and let them wash over you. This then sends a message to your brain that its no big deal and they gradually taper off.

I thought that couldnt possibly work but I've tried it, and it does. Hopefully it will for most people who do. I get panic attacks, rushing morbid thoughts and thoughts similar to yours (not driving obviously) and this technique helps hugely. Its not a magic cure, I still get terrible anxiety about myself, but it helps when your thoughts are very out of control and sudden.

Also I'd suggest going to your GP and asking to be referred for CBT, as they'll be able to offer other coping techniques.

Hope that helps a bit.

[Soul Fire]

Hi,

Thanks so much for taking the time to reply. I will have a look at that book, it seems that the 'letting your thoughts remain present' whilst continuing with what you are doing comes up time and time again with anxiety coping techniques.

I am actually receiving CBT and have been for some time now. I've also been on and off medication to help me as well. I've also been exercising and even taken up yoga to help with this blasted anxiety.

I know the longer I keep putting off driving the harder it will become, but I just cannot trust my unconscious competence anymore and so anything I do in any aspect of my life that I am not acutely aware of sends me into a mad panic "did I do it right?", "Maybe I missed something?" and I have to go back and double, triple check it. It's quite exhausting.

[crystal17]

Could it be OCD? Only I've read quite a bit about it in the past and the checking aspect is a theme there - I do this myself at home with several things. It is exhausting, you're right there.

How is yoga? Always wanted to do it! It makes sense that it would help as a calming technique, I guess it enables you to slow right down and be mindful rather than panic. What medication have you been on?

[Carnation]

Can highly recommend cbt and yoga. Meds free and both helped me tremendously. :)

[PanchoGoz]

Bump - this is me to a T.
I'm a new driver and I have found myself worrying a lot that I have hit someone or run someone over. I think I'm quite a good driver but I have occasionally gone back into to a couple of bumpers, curbs and had some angry beeps. Thats how I learn though, mistakes!
Driving home just now there was a massive bump - I was just driving along normally, sounded very hard like a curb but how could that have happened?Car looks fine, small scratch underneath the bumper but in the wrong place. Going to drive back round there now and have a look for a culprit.