Major blip, can't calm down today!

[susan64]

Hi all, so I've been on cit for over a month now, 2 weeks on 10mg and went up to 20mg for last 2 weeks, for anxiety mostly with some panic attacks. Been signed off work for last 2 1/2 weeks and went for review on Thursday, told doc I felt well enough to return to work on Monday, all good! However yesterday went to Manchester on my own on train, about 20 min journey, to pick up a present, thought I'd try the journey without the trusty diazepam.......big mistake, no conductor on train and had to queue for ticket. Started to feel very strange, legs went all tingly, very lightheaded and panicky, thought I was about to faint but I didn't. Long story short, did what I had to do and straight back home, however since then have felt like I've gone back big style. The dry mouth, panicky, anxiousness is here all the time , no sleep, upset tummy, the works. Major concern as back to work Monday! Even diazepam isn't calming me down :(

[aprilmoon]

Hi
Could you turn this around and congratulate yourself for doing so well?
Are you going to continue with the diazapan?
As the memory of it fades,hopefully you'll feel a bit better if you look at it like that.
I'm much better than I was,but now know that is all part of the journey,and that I'm still a work in progress.
Acceptance is part of getting better,and much easier on yourself
Best wishes.:)

[susan64]

Hi aprilmoon, thanks for the reply, never thought to look at it that way,I am the eternal pessimist! Already starting to think 'what if' I feel like this Monday, I'm a worrier for worryings sake! I will try to take what you advised and turn it round to a plus. Already spoke to my mum early this morning and she advised to take the diazepam a little more frequently, have only used about 2 tabs in 2 weeks, usually only 1/2 at a time. I'm terribly aware of the addictiveness of them. My doc reassures me the amount I've been prescribed is not irresponsible. Currently feel like a bag of the proverbial s**t! Thanks for your best wishes

[Ruby13]

These blips are a bummer, had one myself yesterday, but won't encroach on your post. I think we, who are pessimists, forget to congratulate ourselves when we have good days. What strength are your diazepam? Mine are 2 mg and I wondered about taking half. Had one yesterday :-(

I should take until for Monday, just for a cushion of positivity.

[susan64]

Hi Ruby13, my diazepam are 5mg but usually take 1/2 a tab if needed, took a full one this morning but not much help, don't worry about joining post! What's your situation? Are you on cit too? I felt I was doing so well and this blip has really thrown me again!

[WinJammer]

Sorry to hear about your blip Susan64. I'm on day 38 of 30mg. Cit and Thursday of last week had a minor blip right in my therapist's office right in the middle of my session. He talked me through and it wasn't too bad, but it was frustrating and I completely understand how your shopping trip frustrated you. I can tell you truthfully that the blips become less frequent and somewhat less intense as the Cit does its thing, so hang in there. Aprilmoon's suggestion to look upon your trip positively is spot-on. Little victories win the war. It stinks, but getting better requires patience and time. I didn't get this way overnight, and I won't get better overnight. Same goes for all of us. Stay positive and know others are walking the path with you and cheering you on. Best of luck to you and Namaste!!:)