New here and scared.

[Shezian]

Hi
I am a mother of 12 year old twin girls, and in the past month l have been waking up at 4am each morning, and having terrible thoughts and racing mind. I can't get back to sleep and end up being tired all day. This morning was the worst of them all, l just had these awful thoughts of plain dread and feeling so terrible and low and that my life is awful and lonely, as my husband works away, and l have no family around me. When l wake up, and the day moves along l tend to feel better. And my moods go up and down during the day, but my mind just don't stop thinking, it's driving ,me mad, l feel like l am going mad. There are also periods in the day, where l also feel so bad for no reason, just feel so sad and miserable. I think l need to see some one, but l hate going on meds, but l think l might have to as l don't see see any other way around this. Please tell me the meds will help, and please tell me there is help and this will get better. I am just worried that once l start on meds, l will never be the same, and will need to take them all my life. Is this panic, anxiety or depression. Why do l feel this way?

---------- Post added at 13:15 ---------- Previous post was at 13:04 ----------

Forgot to mention it got really worse 3 days ago, after l took a high dose of fish oil.

[Devorah]

That's interesting about the fish oil. I find that fish oil helps me sometimes with my depression, but sometimes it makes my anxiety worse. When I used to take wellbutrin and it stopped working after awhile, my psychiatrist told me to start taking fish oil, and it really gave it a boost. It was like I was taking it for the first time again. Ultimately wellbutrin was a nightmare and a beast to get off of.
Getting help was very useful for me and a great comfort. The bummer part of it is that sometimes you have to go through a couple of doctors until you find the one that feels best for you. Find a good therapist (psychologist) first and then they can refer you to a psychiatrist for meds, if need be. I found a therapist who was into meditation and didn't suggest meds unless absolutely necessary, and only if I felt comfortable with the decision. Cognitive therapy worked really well for me as well as neuro/bio feedback sessions. I felt better on the meds, but it always seemed like a bandaid. They definitely have their place, but are often over prescribed, causing more problems. Getting well without meds is time consuming and you have to work hard at it. And it takes time. or me vigorous exercise helps, when I actually do it lol. Learning to meditate has been a slow and difficult journey for me but I feel like I am finally getting the hang of it and when I remember to do it, the calmness I achieve reminds me of what it feels like to feel "normal". It's pretty powerful and helps me keep hanging on and fighting to gain control over my anxiety and depression.
I am brand new here too :) It's hard to pinpoint anxiety, panic, depression, etc. I go through all of them. They're sometimes a package deal. I often wonder too "why me?"
"why can't I just enjoy life?" I have begun to accept my "issues" (that's what I like to call them) as challenges and tests to make myself stronger. I have days where I am on the verge of shattering completely, but once I pull myself back from the edge (which often takes a seemingly herculean effort) and look practically at whatever it is I am freaking out or feeling depressed about, I make the decision not to feel sorry for myself and simply do the best I can to push on. The times I overcome my fears and anxieties are victories that lead to more strength for me to access the next time the bad feelings arise.
I am sorry you are going through this. Reading through posts in this forum have given me a sense of not being alone anymore with my "issues".
Meds may help you, just be cautious with them and do your own research. Therapy is a godsend, and trust your gut when finding a therapist. And when you find one you feel comfortable with, be proactive (journal your feelings and bring them to your sessions, do your own research and share your ideas with your doc, etc.)
It will get better. You are already on the right path to feeling better. And remember that all of this is making you stronger. That's a mantra that's been really helping me lately :)

[shakey1961]

Hi. Sorry to hear you're not too good.

One thing I might suggest to you, is that when you wake up try and eat something or have tea with some sugar and some toast.

At 4am your blood sugar is going to be low, it happens to all of us, and if it's a bit too low you will wake with feelings of dread etc.

It can't harm you to have tea and toast and it could make things feel better and seem a bit more bearable.

Try it and see how you get on. I'd love to know if it helps at all.

The reason I say this is because I have suffered with low blood sugar episodes since I was 16 and have only found out 36 years later it was due to coeliac disease (I can't eat gluten). I cut out gluten, I have hardly and hypos and I rarely get anxious or have panic attacks anymore.

Also, make sure you eat properly through the day. Not eating well will also make you feel bad.

Hope this helps.

[Shezian]

Thanks for the help. That's the question to medicate or not. I have never used any kind of meds as l don't believe they can help, but l am starting to go downhill so l may need to try something. I am just worried of all the side effects.

[KvdC]

Hi, sorry to hear you're not feeling great, I think meds could be of a great help to you, it doesn't have to be long term, but they could help you get back on track, regulate your sleep pattern and stop your mind racing so much. It's scary at first but with the right help it does get much easier. K