feeling anxious when I really shouldn't

[worried 101]

Hi guys.
I have had some really good news but struggling to see it that way. My partner has been given some money by a family on his and it was a large sum of money to put down as a deposit for a house.this was obviously extremely generous and really kind of this fmaily member, but even when I found out about it I burst into tears, not from happiness but anxiety.the thoughts going through my head were like bullets whizzing through...'what if we dont find somewhere we like?we'll have to leave the place we live in, how will I deal with that?'those sort of thoughts
.after the initial freak out I tried to keep positive and we began looking at houses which I founf rather anxiety provoking but kept trying to pull myself through. Well on friday we saw a house that was really nice and put in an offer.at the time I was fairly calm and was more concerned about the house going to someone else . However on the sat we were told our offer had been accepted.time to celebrate right?! Not accordi g to my brain...have been feeling so anxious about it all when I should be so happy...having thoughts like will I be happy in my new home etc.
Also another thing about me is I suffer from really bad rocd at times and alot of the time see my relationship as the thing causing my anxiety rather than other factors which are.this causes me alot of distress and upset as I have an amazing partner and love him dearly.i do have a fear of commitment which I think came from a previous relationship and obviously this is a big commitment.i want to just be happy and enjpy this but anxiety gets in the way as always.my head think things like 'what if in ten years we broke up?' What would happen to tbe house? ' like all these worst case scenarios almost like to prepare myself for any pain that could happen. I know kts stupid but my head just spirals off in panic mode. I feel terrible as well as I realise this is an amazing thing to happen to us and that alot of people dont get the chance to own a house and I do t want to come across as selfish as I am fully aware and appreciate that we have been given an amazing gift.i just wish my anxiety would feel that way too.
sorry to go on.im aware that my problems are alot less significant than others on here but I thought if anyone was to get my thoughts it wohld be you guys.
any advice or thoughts would be much appreciated.
Xxx

[binky]

i think its part of a normal reaction to feel like this... maybe it's just me, but i feel the same at the prospect of buying a house and going through the what if's and will often worry about what if we break up etc what if we can't find a house, what if the sale falls through etc.. it's annoying when anxiety takes the enjoyment out of things that should be fun.

[wabbit1]

It's a totally normal reaction to a major life change. I know exactly how you feel. I find it hard to enjoy positive things because I'm so concerned about the effect they're going to have on my life and the changes they're bringing. I would be exactly the same!

I think that once you are in the house and settled you will feel a whole lot better.

Your concerns are important to you so never feel that you can't come on here and rant. It sucks but try to question the negative thoughts if you can.

Hope the move goes well.

[worried 101]

Thankyou so much for your replies. :)
Although im sorry to hear that you both struggle with anxities im glad im not alone with these worries.
We saw a mortgage adviser yesterday and that was scary. The whole time I felt anxious and scared. It just feels like a huge deal and I wish my head would stop worrying and look forward to it!
Wabbit you know you say to question the negative thoughts....what do you mean by that? In what way do you reckon I should question them? I try and rationalise my thoughts but as probably you guys know so well even thinking logically is a struggle and I soon revert to panicking!
Thanks again for the replies.xxx

[blueangel]

The first time I bought a house I found the whole thing with the money very worrying, but in the end I rationalised it by thinking that actually the building society own the house, as they have supplied the money, and what we were doing was actually paying them rent for it. That might help...

[mat74]

I am glad others see it like that. One thing I cannot abide by is when someone says "I have just bought a new flat/house" Well, unless you paid cash outright for it and have the deeds you DO NOT OWN THE PROPERTY - you are merely renting it from the LENDER until such time the debt plus interest is paid and THEN YOU OWN IT.

Got in may arguments over this with friends! Anyway, enough of that, not the place for it here