NE21 worrier
31-07-14, 14:27
Hello everyone,
Sorry I've not been around recently. I've been busy doing my best settling into my new job. Generally, I would say the move has been a success even though I have had to drop down from full time to part time evenings. I have got myself out of the contact centre which I found very difficult, and I've been learning the various processes in my new job, taking plenty of notes.
Last night, for the first time, I was assessing the cases independently - an encouraging step within three weeks, really. But there were a few definite occasions when, if I wasn't sure what I was doing, the chest tightened up. Of course, I asked and made sure I did it right but there is now a new tranche of trainees for the training assessors to deal with.
For the first time this morning, I have woken up really early with my mind racing about work and I've not really eaten much today (just a bit of fruit). I'm already a bit nervous about assessing independently again this evening in case I get anything wrong or have to ask too many questions.
This is a bit daft really as, although I've not openly discussed my issues with anxiety, I've generally found people to be really helpful anyway. This leads me to the conclusions that
(a) my nervousness is normal in the situation and will improve with confidence; and
(b) if I might be expecting a lot of myself at this relatively early stage.
Easily the most frustrating thing is that, although rationally I can draw these conclusions, my brain still seems to short-circuit on waking to a more negative mode of thinking - and this has the effect of causing my physical symptoms (chest/throat tightening, sweating) to appear.
Is it all just about reinforcing my worthiness to do the job over and over again until I 'get' it? I even worry how long this may take considering how low my confidence is after my last job.
Thanks for reading,
Peter
Sorry I've not been around recently. I've been busy doing my best settling into my new job. Generally, I would say the move has been a success even though I have had to drop down from full time to part time evenings. I have got myself out of the contact centre which I found very difficult, and I've been learning the various processes in my new job, taking plenty of notes.
Last night, for the first time, I was assessing the cases independently - an encouraging step within three weeks, really. But there were a few definite occasions when, if I wasn't sure what I was doing, the chest tightened up. Of course, I asked and made sure I did it right but there is now a new tranche of trainees for the training assessors to deal with.
For the first time this morning, I have woken up really early with my mind racing about work and I've not really eaten much today (just a bit of fruit). I'm already a bit nervous about assessing independently again this evening in case I get anything wrong or have to ask too many questions.
This is a bit daft really as, although I've not openly discussed my issues with anxiety, I've generally found people to be really helpful anyway. This leads me to the conclusions that
(a) my nervousness is normal in the situation and will improve with confidence; and
(b) if I might be expecting a lot of myself at this relatively early stage.
Easily the most frustrating thing is that, although rationally I can draw these conclusions, my brain still seems to short-circuit on waking to a more negative mode of thinking - and this has the effect of causing my physical symptoms (chest/throat tightening, sweating) to appear.
Is it all just about reinforcing my worthiness to do the job over and over again until I 'get' it? I even worry how long this may take considering how low my confidence is after my last job.
Thanks for reading,
Peter