please help... worried!!

[em79prez]

Hi

Im new to this board and well to health anxiety really.

About 6wks ago i found a lump in my neck went the docs and he said it was something to do with my thyroid. Had ultrasound where radiographer said nothing sinister just thyroid nodule. So i felt relieved...went back docs he said bloods were all normal slightly raised wbc (11.74) but he wasnt concerned about that. I was then referred to endo... so fear came back that i had cancer. Endo was very reassuring and said unlikely to be anything but a biopsy would be done of course alls i could think was the worst despite everything being positive. Had biopsy and doc even in that said not to be worried. .. got results and all was fine totally benign and the bigger lump had been a cyst that has now gone.

I thought id be ok once got results but nope i seem to have gone down hill. Every ache and pain im worrying ive got cancer... at my ultrasound there was no concern over my lympth nodes in neck yet i keep thinking what if ive lymphoma.

Ive been to 3 diff docs and none are concerned about my wbc and said i dont have leukemia which was my latest worry.

The main symptoms im now getting (for last 3wks) is an ache/pain down left arm, aching on collarbones, in last week neck muscles at front of neck feel weird and kinda sore. My ears hurt a little this week too so i started thinking ive throat cancer. Im visiting family in uk at mo and even rang my gp today to make sure i dont have leukemia... besides wbc being slightly raised ive no real symptoms of leukemia. I do feel tired but id say thats from worry. Ive lost weight as ive barely been eating these last few weeks but then i worry over that even though i know ive not been eating.

I feel so low i keep crying and i dont know how to snap out of this. I didnt have any of these symptoms until i found the lump.

Oh also my skin on my chest feels irritated like my clothes are annoying it and my bra straps annoy me. Is this just sensitive skin due to the anxiety? Also have pin in my chin duno if thats from jaw clenching of what as ive no lumps around there.

So freaked by all this .... is this all anxiety related? I'm going counselling but feel like i cant get handle on the thoughts as the pains are constant reminder.

Sorry for the ramble

Thanks

[Dolphin8808]

I have found that once the ball rolls with Health Anxiety it is SO hard to make it stop. We often get stuck in a rut where we are almost looking for something to be wrong. Looking at lumps, bumps, moles, aches, pains etc. and always leading it back to being cancer. Cancer is my biggest scare as well. My father passed away from it and now whenever ANYTHING is wrong with me, I always think that is what I have.

Even sometimes saying it out loud makes me almost giggle at how silly it is but my rational mind doesn't always work when it comes to my health. So I have my ear twitching on the inside, its occasional only a few times a day and only lasts a few seconds. My mind though immediately takes it to being a tumor near my ear causing these symptoms. I completely dismiss the fact that it could fluid in my ear, could be TMJ causing my muscles to spasm, could be stress and anxiety, could be any of the above yet I go right to cancer. Can't help it.

A few things that truly have helped though, is finding a good therapist, one who has experience with anxiety, panic and OCD (hypochondria and health anxiety are closely related to OCD). They can teach you coping skills and techniques to help you get through the evil thought process.

A psychiatrist is another great resource as they can provide medication to help you get over this hard time and move on.

Be open and honest with your primary care doctor, about your new fears, your thoughts and they can provide great guidance as well.

Meditation is huge, it always you to relieve stress and find calm.

Try to break the pattern now... Its hard to do and will take work, but you CAN do it. By all means, listen to your body but accept when you doctor tells you its ok. Take reassurance in that and knowing that our minds can make our bodies feel many things. Especially when our anxiety spikes so badly.

[em79prez]

Thanks dani

Its scaring me how quickly this is escalating with me. Like in 2 weeks ive gone from bone cancer to breast cancer to lymphoma to throat cancer to leukemia. My doc assured me i do not have bone cancer infact 2 docs told me i dont have it and my friend whos a nurse said there are markers in the bloods if i had that. Ive even been a doc in the uk who told me the same about bone cancer so im accepting i dont have that yet im thinking must be something thats spread to my bones.

The only abnormality in my bloods was the slightly raised wbc and none of the docs seem concerned yet im still freaking out.

My teeth hurt and im thinking omg ive some sort of oral cancer now!! I know what you mean about laughing at how silly it sounds i keep thinking the same myself and i keep thinking logically if all these pains meant ive cancer that has spread then it must be pretty far along and my bloods would surely have been through the roof.

I find im worse in mornings when i first wake... i feel sick and nervous and dread how im going to feel that day. Ive a little girl whos suffering cause of me and its so unfair on her.

Cancer seems to be my fear too like ive never thought heart attack with the left arm pain.

its just so hard to think that pains that last this long can be anxiety mind when i say pain its probably aches and twinges but they make my mind go racing

Wish i could switch my brain off

Emma

[Dolphin8808]

I wish I could switch mine off sometimes too! Its the truth though, Our minds truly can make our bodies feel some really weird stuff. Over the years I self-diagnosed, bone, ovarian, brain, lung, hip, colon, stomach, skin, oral cancers, lymphoma... and that is just part of the list. I've gone through tests because of pain even when my doc said it wasn't necessary. I've had right side lower pain for such a long time. I've also had upper left chest pain off and on for years. CT Scans, MRIs, Xrays... all show nothing. I know that it truly is my anxiety doing this to me. The mind over body is amazing and can make you feel so many things... pain, dizziness, tingling, blurred vision, muffled sounds, stomach cramps, constipation, sore jaws and gums and the list goes on.

Oh and I have my blood done annually, my counts have come back elevated as well. The doc said nothing to worry about, could be your body fighting an infection that you aren't even aware of, could be your body just doing its thing. Absolutely NOTHING to worry about. Our bloods fluctuate day to day. Bet if they take it again, its back to normal range. :) That is why the docs don't bat an eye. Its also a combination of things that would be off in your blood work, not just one thing here and there. Plus it would be OFF the charts, not just slighted elevated.

I went through the same exact thing last year when I got my blood work results. My doctor recommended that I no longer look at the results because I would interpret things as being bad when they really aren't.

[em79prez]

At the time of getting blood results (5wks ago) i had no real concern over the wbc i was just focusing on getting biopsy done etc.. its only after i got all clear on the lump ive focused on the wbc cause of these aches and pains.

I dont even feel like i know my own body anymore!!

Doc said theres no reason to be doing more tests as there is nothing to suggest i need them and im only fuelling the health anxiety and causing myself further stress waiting for results.... i guess hes right really. He said how many tests is it going to take to put your mind at ease and honest answer is ive no idea really. I need to sort my head out really.

[Fishmanpa]

Doc said theres no reason to be doing more tests as there is nothing to suggest i need them and im only fuelling the health anxiety and causing myself further stress waiting for results.... i guess hes right really. He said how many tests is it going to take to put your mind at ease and honest answer is ive no idea really. I need to sort my head out really.

Just remember, for the same reasons you see a medical professional, you see a mental health professional. When medical science finds nothing wrong it only leaves the obvious and you can be treated and healed ;)

Positive thoughts