MarkS
02-08-14, 10:04
Hello there,
This is my first post so apologies if its in the wrong place. Not sure why im posting but im thinking it may help to write this down and perhaps it rings a bell with some one.
Im a bit of a worrier, i always have been, when i go on holiday i worry that the person behind will kick my seat, that the person in front will recline the seat all flight, that they will run out of the meal i want, that the plane will be late.. anything i can think of to worry about i do.. it pretty much carries through to all aspects of life for me, i always seem to look for something to go wrong.
Normally this isnt a huge issue, probably annoying for my wife but it doesnt effect the quality of my life.
It has on 3 occasions in my life however gone to another level after a bad event. First time i remember it was when we had a family crisis involving a very unpleaseant drug dealing cousin that meant i had to move away for a short while, the 2nd time was after my first marriage broke down, it had been my call to do so but when it was too late to go back i started to feel like i had made a huge mistake... and im in the midst of the 3rd time.
I have always had a problem with noise, or more specifically, intrusive noise that i cant control. Ill happily watch tv or listen to music loud and have no problem being in loud places in public.. but at home, i hate outside noise.
Up until 3 weeks ago my wife and i (no kids) lived in a small semi detached house just north of london. The area was very convenient for both our work places with a lot of amenities in walking distance but i was getting bothered by noise a lot. The M25 had been widened and we lived across from a haulage depot that had started working very late and making a lot of noise. We also had neighbours that we got on well with but they were quite noisy, slamming doors a lot and the young lads would play football right outside our windows, hitting our cars a lot. The houses were in very close proximity the way they were laid out and i was aware of what they were watching on tv at times and what times they went to bed, went to work etc
I started locking myself in a room with noise cancelling headphones all the time and spent very little time with my wife so we decided we had to move.
I was very blinkered about the move and just focused on getting away to somewhere quieter where i could live a normal life. We very quickly sold and even quicker found a house about 30 miles north (very little on the market at the time in our price range). Its a bigger house but came with a few downsides, the distance from our work, its in the country and has no mains gas (oil), the master bed is a loft conversion and the village itself only has a pub, not even a shop.
But it was quiet when we viewed the 3 times we did so it seemed all those downsides were worth it.
So we moved in and first couple of days things were good, but then i started to notice noises. Pigeons, planes, next doors boiler flue that faced the side of our house, combine harvesters (granted its that time of year for them). We also started finding things wrong with the house, nothing major and nothing out of the ordinary when you buy a house.. but i started to feel like i had moved us from being close to work and everything we knew, to the middle of nowhere, lost about £30k in the process and were no better off, if fact financially a lot worse off. My wife used to get up at 7.00am and had a 25 min drive to work, she now gets up at 5.30am and we car share for a total journey of over an hour and 15 mins for her.
This worry built and built until the first saturday night (2 weeks ago) it was very hot and people in the close behind us were having bbqs, this seemed to push me over the edge, i went to sleep ok but woke up and had some sort of attack, i couldnt speak properly and was very confused and panicky.
Since then ive had a couple of other episodes and have a constant feeling of anxiety, everything is a problem, im missing the house i so desperately wanted to get away from and feel ive made the biggest mistake of my live and dragged my poor wife along with me.
I have seen a GP who is referering me for CBT but have chosen to see a therapist on Monday privately as i feel i need to do be doing something as its making my life hell at the moment.
I cant concentrate, have lost all enthusiasm for anything i usually like doing and have a constant feeling of butterflies in my stomach. i feel like i will never be happy living here and can only think that we will have to try and move again in maybe a years time when it wont look too crazy to do so.. but what would that solve?? theres noise everywhere
Any advice? Am i going the right way about things?
Thanks all and sorry for the very long first post.
This is my first post so apologies if its in the wrong place. Not sure why im posting but im thinking it may help to write this down and perhaps it rings a bell with some one.
Im a bit of a worrier, i always have been, when i go on holiday i worry that the person behind will kick my seat, that the person in front will recline the seat all flight, that they will run out of the meal i want, that the plane will be late.. anything i can think of to worry about i do.. it pretty much carries through to all aspects of life for me, i always seem to look for something to go wrong.
Normally this isnt a huge issue, probably annoying for my wife but it doesnt effect the quality of my life.
It has on 3 occasions in my life however gone to another level after a bad event. First time i remember it was when we had a family crisis involving a very unpleaseant drug dealing cousin that meant i had to move away for a short while, the 2nd time was after my first marriage broke down, it had been my call to do so but when it was too late to go back i started to feel like i had made a huge mistake... and im in the midst of the 3rd time.
I have always had a problem with noise, or more specifically, intrusive noise that i cant control. Ill happily watch tv or listen to music loud and have no problem being in loud places in public.. but at home, i hate outside noise.
Up until 3 weeks ago my wife and i (no kids) lived in a small semi detached house just north of london. The area was very convenient for both our work places with a lot of amenities in walking distance but i was getting bothered by noise a lot. The M25 had been widened and we lived across from a haulage depot that had started working very late and making a lot of noise. We also had neighbours that we got on well with but they were quite noisy, slamming doors a lot and the young lads would play football right outside our windows, hitting our cars a lot. The houses were in very close proximity the way they were laid out and i was aware of what they were watching on tv at times and what times they went to bed, went to work etc
I started locking myself in a room with noise cancelling headphones all the time and spent very little time with my wife so we decided we had to move.
I was very blinkered about the move and just focused on getting away to somewhere quieter where i could live a normal life. We very quickly sold and even quicker found a house about 30 miles north (very little on the market at the time in our price range). Its a bigger house but came with a few downsides, the distance from our work, its in the country and has no mains gas (oil), the master bed is a loft conversion and the village itself only has a pub, not even a shop.
But it was quiet when we viewed the 3 times we did so it seemed all those downsides were worth it.
So we moved in and first couple of days things were good, but then i started to notice noises. Pigeons, planes, next doors boiler flue that faced the side of our house, combine harvesters (granted its that time of year for them). We also started finding things wrong with the house, nothing major and nothing out of the ordinary when you buy a house.. but i started to feel like i had moved us from being close to work and everything we knew, to the middle of nowhere, lost about £30k in the process and were no better off, if fact financially a lot worse off. My wife used to get up at 7.00am and had a 25 min drive to work, she now gets up at 5.30am and we car share for a total journey of over an hour and 15 mins for her.
This worry built and built until the first saturday night (2 weeks ago) it was very hot and people in the close behind us were having bbqs, this seemed to push me over the edge, i went to sleep ok but woke up and had some sort of attack, i couldnt speak properly and was very confused and panicky.
Since then ive had a couple of other episodes and have a constant feeling of anxiety, everything is a problem, im missing the house i so desperately wanted to get away from and feel ive made the biggest mistake of my live and dragged my poor wife along with me.
I have seen a GP who is referering me for CBT but have chosen to see a therapist on Monday privately as i feel i need to do be doing something as its making my life hell at the moment.
I cant concentrate, have lost all enthusiasm for anything i usually like doing and have a constant feeling of butterflies in my stomach. i feel like i will never be happy living here and can only think that we will have to try and move again in maybe a years time when it wont look too crazy to do so.. but what would that solve?? theres noise everywhere
Any advice? Am i going the right way about things?
Thanks all and sorry for the very long first post.