Family and anxiety dont mix

[misslove]

A bit of background: im. 28, married and have a 5 yr old. Ive always been very close with my family. But since the birth of my daughter is really when i started to get anxiety. I get panic attacks in Social places, such as restaurants and stores. My parents have invited me numerous times to go out to dinner or go so something as a family. I always refuse and then they get mad. I have told thrm about my panic attacks but they just say that i have to do these to make me uncomfortable and they will "go away". I dont want them to see me when im in full on panic attack mode. And they dont understand how bad it is for me. I want to be that mom that goes witch her family to th zoo and stuff but evn just leaving thr house to to grocery shopping is a huge thing for me and takes all i have. I feel even worse that my parents think im making it up because they just think im lazy. I have tried all the pills the drs throw at me but they makes me feel worse. How to i get my parents to back off and let me be. I also hate that im a grown woman and still get yelled at by my parents for not taking my kid out to do stuff. I try my best but they dont get it. It Also effects my marriage becuase my husband hates them butting into our home life. What do i do?

[aprilmoon]

Hi
Welcome to NMP.
Have you tried any of the talking therapies, such as CBT,or anything like that?:)

[Oosh]

I can understand what your folks are trying to do. In a way its really good of them to try to force you to do the things you find hard. They just want you to face your fears and beat them. Theyre also determined which shows they care.

But i can see how they dont understand that youre not ready yet and so theyre just making you feel worse.

All you can do is arrange a meeting with them, maybe separately, and explain to them that you understand theyre trying to help and how theyre trying to help and you really appreciate that. BUT that they need to understand that youre not in control of the panic attacks and cant face freeking out around them and in public like that. Its not that you dont want to try but its not like anxiety where you can just bottle it up until its gone. Youll freek out and youre not prepared to do that.

Get some support/therapy off your doc and tell them youre going to do that and hopefully can do some exposure therapy in some safer environments so that in the longrun youll be able to do stuff with them.

Ask your doc for some cbt/exposure stuff. Start with little safe stuff and then move onto zoo type stuff.

Hopefully when they understand a bit better and see you need to do these things properly theyll give you some space.

They care thats all, thats nice.

[Rennie1989]

Oosh is right that it is good that your parents are pushing you to do things that cause anxiety. This is called exposure. The more you do this the less the anxiety symptoms will get. You will only have a panic attack in these situations if you believe that you will.

On the flip side, I do understand how it feels to have parents that don't understand. It feels incredibly lonely when you're battling these demons with no recognition or help. You could show your parents a webpage that describes anxiety so they can read it and understand it better? For me, I just remind my parents that I am suffering from an illness of which I never chose to suffer from.