SheriAnn
03-08-14, 02:05
My boyfriend suffers from something that doctors have given 10 different labels and thrown countless prescriptives at. I call it anxiety for the need to call it something. He calls it "not feeling well". I knew that he had some kind of depression or anxiety early on. At one time his doctor had him on over 7 different medications, a few of which he developed an addiction to. He stopped taking everything, and the difference in him was amazing. He would still get bouts of anxiety that had him curled up on the couch for a day or two, but these came less frequently over time or were shorter. The early part of our relationship was very difficult; he would go from affectionate to nasty and cold to me. He was very depressed and I would find him over medicated and was petrified that one day I would find him dead. It was scary as hell, not to mention hurtful and isolating for me. To this day I don't think he knows how hard it was for me. I knew he was struggling with his own demons at the time. Fast forward four medication free years and suddenly the severe anxiety has returned from what seems like the blue. Two weeks ago he told me it was back bad and he was having trouble coping. Then Wednesday when I got in to my usual nighttime spooning position with him he asked me to move saying he didn't feel well. He told me to just leave him alone. He doesn't want me too close to him but doesn't want me out of the house either. It is Saturday night and not much has changed over the past several days. He is snappy towards me and hardly talks. I want to support him but don't know how. He will not talk about anything right now and I am not pestering him to. And I know it is selfish but I feel horribly isolated and alone. I love him dearly, but he gets so cold towards me it is hard to not take it personally. I don't know what to do and am wondering to myself just how bad this is going to get, and how long it will last. I am looking for real tips on how I can support him and "leave him alone" in the right way. I need tips on how I can make peace with this being my life forever since this is a man I love dearly. And some days I wish I didn't...