dizzyco
04-08-14, 21:16
I am writing this in a state of ultimate terror and depression
I feel like everything in my life has unravelled and there's nothing left
It's too complicated to list all the problems but to sum up i suffer from a few incurable and painful conditions but what hurts the most is the anxiety depression and panic attacks. They have taken over my life and my every second. There is no relief.
My partner of a decade has broken up with me because i am no longer the person he fell in love with and my problems and insanity have driven him away and made it impossible for me to be with him
He was everything to me.My best friend, my confidant, everything
I am in shock and at the same time beyond despair
He has met someone else and says he thinks he wants to be with her. He has only known this person a few weeks and i feel so worthless and pointless.
I think if it hadn't been someone else involved i wouldn't feel so sick but the thought of it is literally driving me insane.
I know i have been a nightmare to be around - i am agoraphobic, emetophobic, and i have pulled him down with me...i didn't see what i was doing because i've been so overcome with trying to deal with the depression and anxiety that i didn't see really what impact it was having on him. We've been together so long and i thought we'd stick with each other through everything. I can't believe this is happening to me.
It's the last straw.
He says he loves me and he cares but he has lost the belief that we will ever be happy and doesn't want to be with me anymore.
I am beyond hysterical....i can't eat, i can't drink, i just desperately need this pain to stop.
I can't go out and distract myself etc because i am stuck with the agoraphobia and the thought of going out and dealing with the world is more than i can bear.
I always thought that we would be together, i want to marry this man. Iwant to ask him to just give me time to sort myself out, after ten years, but he says he can't do it, that he can't carry the weight.
I am so lost, and feel so utterly alone. I have cut myself just to feel something other than this pain in my head. I feel battered, lost, alone, betrayed and i can see no future
My life has become an existence, it's like living in a prison in my own head
I am reaching out to anyone who has been through this, or understands this, or just to relate...i have friends and family but the messed upthing is that the one person who gets me (him) won't make this pain stop
Any replies would be so much appreciated
I just literally don't know what to do anymore.I don't want to carry on. I don't know who i am.
Thanks for reading
xxx
I feel like everything in my life has unravelled and there's nothing left
It's too complicated to list all the problems but to sum up i suffer from a few incurable and painful conditions but what hurts the most is the anxiety depression and panic attacks. They have taken over my life and my every second. There is no relief.
My partner of a decade has broken up with me because i am no longer the person he fell in love with and my problems and insanity have driven him away and made it impossible for me to be with him
He was everything to me.My best friend, my confidant, everything
I am in shock and at the same time beyond despair
He has met someone else and says he thinks he wants to be with her. He has only known this person a few weeks and i feel so worthless and pointless.
I think if it hadn't been someone else involved i wouldn't feel so sick but the thought of it is literally driving me insane.
I know i have been a nightmare to be around - i am agoraphobic, emetophobic, and i have pulled him down with me...i didn't see what i was doing because i've been so overcome with trying to deal with the depression and anxiety that i didn't see really what impact it was having on him. We've been together so long and i thought we'd stick with each other through everything. I can't believe this is happening to me.
It's the last straw.
He says he loves me and he cares but he has lost the belief that we will ever be happy and doesn't want to be with me anymore.
I am beyond hysterical....i can't eat, i can't drink, i just desperately need this pain to stop.
I can't go out and distract myself etc because i am stuck with the agoraphobia and the thought of going out and dealing with the world is more than i can bear.
I always thought that we would be together, i want to marry this man. Iwant to ask him to just give me time to sort myself out, after ten years, but he says he can't do it, that he can't carry the weight.
I am so lost, and feel so utterly alone. I have cut myself just to feel something other than this pain in my head. I feel battered, lost, alone, betrayed and i can see no future
My life has become an existence, it's like living in a prison in my own head
I am reaching out to anyone who has been through this, or understands this, or just to relate...i have friends and family but the messed upthing is that the one person who gets me (him) won't make this pain stop
Any replies would be so much appreciated
I just literally don't know what to do anymore.I don't want to carry on. I don't know who i am.
Thanks for reading
xxx