end of my tether/advise on meds

[Monkey123]

hi all
new to forums of any type so unsure of how they work but here goes... :)
I have suffered from anxiety for years. mainly health anxiety after the birth of my first child and since my second I have been getting worse and worse to the point where a recent bout of illness has crippled me and I feel like I am having a constant panic attack. doctors gave me 2mg tablets of diazepam to try to get it under control while we decide what to do long term... doesn't seem to be having much effect after it taking me 2 days to pluck up the courage to take one because I also have a fear of what tablets will do to me.
know that i have got to the point where i feel i just can't do this by myself anymore as it is out of contol. worried about going to bed tonight as last night I woke up in the middle of the night and had a horrible attack and got it into my head it will happen again.
I just want to feel better for my girls as they must be suffering having a mum who can't function properly day to day. I do my best for them but now my anxiety takes up all my life.
can anyone advise on medication and if it worked for them/how long till it works etc
thanks in advance :) xxxxxxx

[aprilmoon]

Hi welcome to NMP
Are you going back to your docs for a review of your meds?
Have they considered any anti depressants or anything else?
I've found diazapan alright for odd occasions,but it sounds like you need something more consistant,there are meds that can reduce anxiety, but arnt addictive like benzoates.:)

[Monkey123]

yes going back next week to discuss a long term treatment. we have briefly discussed citalopram as the medicine she would start me off on. I worry so much about taking tablets and I have read the first few weeks are worse before things get better and I honestly can't imagine being worse than I am now and it terrifies me.
I do need help though.... as you can see my mind is in bits thats why my doctor prescribed the diazepam for short term to get my head around things but I don't seem to be feeling much difference.
Thank you so much for replying. xxxx

[Thesleepycrow]

Hello monkey
Really sorry to hear that you are having a tough time.
I started on citalopram a few weeks ago & am not feeling the benefits yet - I think it takes 3-4 weeks before your body starts to feel better. Yes, I have had side effects which include insomnia, tearfulness & heightened anxiety first thing in the morning. Despite the side effects, I'm going to stick with the medication because I believe there are happier times ahead. I have also requested CBT as well as this helps us to understand our negative thoughts & to use positive thinking to fight back. Talking therapy is great for anxiety - perhaps this should be your starting point before considering medication.
Parenting is tough & you must try & find headspace for yourself. Have a bath at night after the kids have gone to bed. Building relaxation into the day will lessen your feelings on anxiety. Also worth having a self-help book by your bedside just to help you think positively.
Go easy on yourself. Anxiety is an illness, so treat yourself kindly and reach out to friends & family for support.
Sleepy crow xxxx

[Monkey123]

Thanks again for the reply :)
I have been on a CBT course since February, it helps me at times but sometimes I just find my head is so consumed with the thoughts and worries I find it so difficult to get my head into gear to do the exercises I need to do for it. talking definitely does help me though. I think I am thinking that the medication will give my mind the rest it needs to work on the CBT side more effectively? ?? if that makes sense?
I am also reading At last A Life by Paul David. seems very good so for its drilling the message home to try not to fight my anxiety anymore and to accept it to get better.
I have only just confided in my family about my anxiety as I was trying so hard to deal with it myself which has only made it 100× worse!
I hope your meds start working soon for you sleepycrow, I think it might have to be my next step even though it scares me.
xxxxxx