Missing my cousins wedding.

[Modestaustin811]

Today by now I was suppose to be onroute with my my mom, and grandma to my cousins wedding. Instead I'm home alone because my anxiety was too bad to leave. I know if i went i would have been extremely uncomfortable the entire time, possibly leading to a panic attack. I didn't want to make a scene, I don't want to ruin other peoples fun. Lately my stomach has been feeling off, and I'm sure I have a ton of diseases, and I don't know, I just couldn't face it. I've also lost a lot of weight recently, and i was skinny to begin with so I didn't want to deal with the questions.

Am I terrible person? I feel so bad.

[Oosh]

Ah forget about it.

You were decisive and made a decision to not go on this occasion because you didn't feel up to it. That's fine and it's allowed.

Sometimes it's best to pull out when your anxiety is that bad anyway. I've felt in such a mess in the past but kept it hidden and gone along to big social events and endured hours of absolute nightmare all hidden behind a fake smile. I don't think there was really anything achieved by doing that. Because to this day they make me cringe.

Put your feet up, relax and think how you can generally improve your anxiety so you can face things like this in this next year.