Trapped in a cycle

[Angelika]

Hi guys.

I know what I'm doing but can't seem to stop.

I hadn't had any major anxiety for nine years! after a bit of a breakthrough in understanding. Then I had a health worry, which seemed to explode my anxiety. Even though I still have the problem, my original fear that it was a tumour is gone. However, I am now trapped in an anxiety cycle.

I wake each day with that feeling of unease and 'something is wrong.' I can feel my breathing going wrong and I feel wound up and tense most of the day. I get adrenaline flushes whenever I think of my health thing, and just can't get back to normal. Now I worry that I will end up going mad, or unable to cope and breaking down, even though I sometimes feel okay.

Is it normal to have this grim shadow? To feel worried and tense most of the time - little appetite, unable to relax or focus on anything but how I feel? Will it ever go away again? I am sick of 'setting myself off' and not being able to turn it off again, and of feeling so fed up with it.

Anyone else know this feeling?

[Lyn89]

Sure do. A lot (and I mean a lot) of people get anxiety after a health scare. A friend of mine just had an operation and it lead to GAD for her too. I dont really have health anxiety per se, but I get more worried than usual about pretty much everything compared to other people. Maybe seeing your doctor for a check up or routine blood tests would help affirm that you are healthy and okay? I recently had one and my doctor said I'm as healthy as can be :p which helped my overall anxiety. It was like another weight off, you know? Also remember that if you got through a bad patch 9 years ago, there's no reason you can't do it again! Remind yourself how you got through that last time. Just because it's from a different cause doesn't mean the anxiety isn't beatable, and it's very unlikely you'll have a breakdown. You already have the strength to get through it!

---------- Post added at 11:13 ---------- Previous post was at 11:11 ----------

Also 9 years with no major anxiety!? You are superwoman, don't doubt yourself! That's amazing

[Angelika]

Aww. What happened was I was suffering GAD and something happened that totally took my attention. I realised that after a few days, I no longer had the anxiety - mainly because this thing had my full attention. It was the first thing I thought of when I woke, and had my full attention. I thought - oh - so what happened to the big, bad unbeatable GAD? When I realised what a phantom is was (is!) I thought, never again! But, here I am. lol.

[Lyn89]

Can definitely identify there. Something happened for me in May (a good thing) that's taken my mind off GAD and I've been much better ever since. You said it though-- it's a phantom. It only feels bad because you are letting it feel real and dangerous and bad. If you know it disappears with distractions, you know it has no real weight or danger attached to it. It only has as much power over you as you give it :) I know a lot of people try meds first, but I think you're too strong for that and this is just a blip. Try some relaxation techniques and maybe some self help cbt just to get you through this. It won't last forever :)

[Angelika]

I hope not. It's scary how completely and how totally it can all come back, like a cd slotted into your mind. All the thoughts, feelings, bodily sensations and gloom, and how hard it is to shift again. It helps just hearing from others that it isn't just you.

[Rennie1989]

I seem to have some control over my anxiety now and, at times, it does try to creep back in. It's worth remembering how you overcame it before and doing that again. Keep yourself distracted from the thoughts and know that the symptoms are only anxiety, as uncomfortable as they are it's best to not give them attention.