Extreme anxiety in long distance relationship

[GirlAfraid23]

I've been in a long distance relationship for around 5 months now.
We love each other very much and despite the distance (he lives in the North of England and I live in the South) we have made it work so far.

Recently though, things have changed somewhat, he is looking for work and because of this we are finding it difficult to see each other.
The job he has just applied for means he would have to work every weekend - at least one of the days - Saturday or Sunday. I work everyday during the week and have weekends off. So you see my worry.
Currently, we see each other every three weeks and usually at a weekend unless I am off...Friday-Sunday.
Now this will be almost impossible...I want this to work so much but I don't see how it can.
My anxieties are at an all time high, I think you can understand why :(

If anyone has any advice, please give me some!

[Oosh]

I've had long distance relationships. That's why I'm in Yorkshire but am from Liverpool.
At some point, and I'd say 5 months is as good a time as any, if you're serious about each other you should consider moving in together.

I can't see an alternative.

Look for jobs where he is or vice versa. Ask for a transfer closer to each other.

[nomorepanic]

The only way it can work is if one of you moves closer to the other. Only you can decide if the relationship is worth this

[GirlAfraid23]

I would say the relationship is definitely worth this and we have spoken about moving closer to each other/moving in together but at the current time, financial issues are stopping us from doing that. I work in a school, so I can't really ask for a transfer. I have been looking at jobs in the area but the only problem is attending interviews and the like when I'm miles away. How can I possibly travel 5 hours for an interview when I work full time?!

---------- Post added at 14:25 ---------- Previous post was at 14:23 ----------

I'm also scared about leaving my current job and not finding anything else when I move up there...I guess he could move down here but we have spoken about how much cheaper it is to rent and buy in the north compared to where I am, near London.

[nomorepanic]

Well you have to decide what you want to do in the long term. We can't make that decision for you and if you want to make it work then you will find a way.

[trq&skq]

When two people truly love each other, then they will always find a way to make things work. However, 9/10 times, it takes a lot of compromise from both individuals. The best thing you can do in a situation like this is remain positive and supportive of any decisions he makes. Maybe you can also sit down with him and talk to him about your worries and see what he says. For all you know, he could feel the same way or he could be really reassuring and supportive towards you and your feelings. If he seems hesitant and unsure, just give him some time to think things through (he could also be under a lot of stress). One way or another, things will work out for you.

[GirlAfraid23]

When two people truly love each other, then they will always find a way to make things work. However, 9/10 times, it takes a lot of compromise from both individuals. The best thing you can do in a situation like this is remain positive and supportive of any decisions he makes. Maybe you can also sit down with him and talk to him about your worries and see what he says. For all you know, he could feel the same way or he could be really reassuring and supportive towards you and your feelings. If he seems hesitant and unsure, just give him some time to think things through (he could also be under a lot of stress). One way or another, things will work out for you.

You are right.
It's just difficult for me to stop worrying about it all. I hate it when things are out of my control or when I don't know what is going to happen.
I think it's part of my OCD tendencies...I like to have everything laid out before me, although I know it's not possible.
Being in the unknown is one of my biggest hates and anxieties...but I suppose there is no way around it.
We have sort of spoken about it and he is very supportive but my worries still take over as per usual.

[trq&skq]

You are right.
It's just difficult for me to stop worrying about it all. I hate it when things are out of my control or when I don't know what is going to happen.
I think it's part of my OCD tendencies...I like to have everything laid out before me, although I know it's not possible.
Being in the unknown is one of my biggest hates and anxieties...but I suppose there is no way around it.
We have sort of spoken about it and he is very supportive but my worries still take over as per usual.

That's a natural feeling and I'm exactly the same! I hate not knowing things.... So, I sit and analyse everything and try and make sense of it but then I realise that I'm just making things worse for myself! Life is full of mystery and we will never know everything we wish we could. Sometimes when we don't get the answers we need, we need to accept it for what it is and do our best to move on. In fact, I used to be so bad at accepting things, I got a tattoo to help me and remind me everyday. It's a quote by George Orwell and it says "True happiness can exist only in acceptance." Basically, to truly feel happy means people have to accept things for what they are and not expect any different! Just go with the flow and try not to over think the whole situation (as hard as it may be) :)