Bumped in to an ex. School Bully!

[Carnation]

Totally took me by surprise. She was a total cow to me when I was growing up. I was very shy and she physically and mentally hurt me.
She looked just the same, but obviously older and I didn't know what to say to her. I still felt uncomfortable, but not threatened. She still looked vicious and rough. I wanted to remind her what she did to me and I couldn't say anything, but hello with a blank stare.
Now, I can't stop thinking about it and felt that I should have said something to her, like; "Why were you so nasty to me? What did I do?'.
I thought that part of my Life was finished, but it just goes to show how things can come back to haunt you. Did I let myself down by not saying anything? :unsure:

[ray52]

Sometimes its easy not to say anything at the time but you can remind yourself that she looks rough, did she say hello back ?

[Carnation]

She said 'Hello' first. Then I replied back 'Hello'. Then there was a long pause and a stare from both ends. She then turned her back and went about her business.
It felt very surreal. And, when I said she looked rough, I meant she looked like she could do ten rounds with Tyson! :scared15:

[yiannis]

Kids can be so mean sometimes. Choosing to not confront her does not make you weak; it makes you wise.

[Tessar]

No carnation you most certainly did not let yourself down at all. No way.

I was talking to my counsellor today and I still find it so hard to talk about my childhood. I still cry when we get onto bits that were really painful. I got bullied alot, it hurts even after decades. I feel a bit better about my difficulties when I her that other people still struggle with things from their past.

She was a right cow from what you say. Why did she pick you? Why was she so nasty to you? Because SHE (& not you) had problems, she was weak, and quite probably frightened. To boost her ego she found it necessary to pick on people she perceived as good targets. Only good from her point of view that is.

She was a horrible person, i say was since maybe you don't know if she's still nasty?

I'll come and kick the crap out of her if you want, I'm not tall or particularly strong but when it comes to protecting people who are (or were) being mistreated then I grow enormously in stature.

Don't you go feeling bad about yourself, it was her doing and hers alone.

Also, when someone (or something) bad unexpectedly pops up .... It can render you speechless literally. It's an issue I struggle with, I am trying to deal with it but find my mind freezes. Sucks. It really does, but I am determined to get past it.

Wham!!!*%€¥€¥€¥!!!! There..... I gave her a virtual slap for you.

[Oosh]

I don't think there's anything achieved in confronting childhood bullies.

Think how much your views and personality has changed since then.
She's likely to have changed just as much.

I think the most useful thing to do is just to accept that that happened in a previous life and it's gone.

"Hello" and nothing more is just about right. Civil but no desire to know you thanks.

[Fishmanpa]

Everyone is right. No sense in spewing venom. Just the fact that she looked like she had been ridden hard and put away wet should be satisfying enough ;)

Positive thoughts

[Carnation]

Thank for your replies on this. I suppose I just went with my gut instinct. I had many bullies throughout my growing up and this girl/woman was a bully in and out of School. What made it worse was she use to get boys to join in. What was weird that I met one of these boys after I had left School and he asked me out. I reminded him about the bullying and the pain he put me through and he couldn't remember it!?!?
I am a different person now, like Tessar, I can not abide any bullying of any shape of form at any age or any circumstances. I tend to protect others, rather than myself.
I think it was just a shock when I met her again. And, she won't hurt me again!