View Full Version : Holiday/Travelling Nerves
:scared15:This will be my third attempt at going away on Holiday and facing the dreaded Motorway. I am collecting ideas to get through this.
I have already got:- Radio on, sunglasses at the ready, lavender in the glove compartment, bottle of water for dry throat.
P.s. I am not driving, just a passenger on a three hour journey!
Very, very nervous, so nervous that I want to call A & E now to warn them of a casualty. This is like jumping without a parachute for me. :scared15::scared15::scared15:
Sunflower2
13-08-14, 20:56
When do you go?
Hey carnation, time to switch your worrying brain off and that is an order.
Distraction, distraction, distraction. busy your mind with other stuff.
Anyway sounds like you are preparing well, you are gonna do this, I feel it on my bones (& my water).
On the journey, you can find something to look out for, count the lorries, as in Eddie stop art ones or other haulage companies. You could even jot the numbers down. Or do what we do.... Sing silly words to songs you know or even make up your own silly songs or verses.
Sounds dft but kills boredom off for me or .... If I am visiting somewhere that makes me nervous, it takes my mind off where I am going.
I go in three weeks time. I am a terrible passenger. I tend to get extremely chatty when I get nervous and I've got a head like a chicken looking out for any dangers. I did think about sitting in the back, but I will have to stretch my neck further to see what is going on. Since the crash, I like to know if something is about to hit me, so a diversion can be made. I will not be in control, so that makes it worse and my Partner, who will be driving, is not in best health either, so that makes me nervous.
The singing sounds a good idea, but becomes difficult when my throat dries up and then I start choking.
I am going to keep telling myself that the journey will be worth it and there will be good things at the other end. My Anxiety symptoms are bad at the moment and I am assuming that this is the reason. It's ridiculous how Anxiety can do this to you, people don't understand really unless they are a sufferer themselves.:shrug:
Sunflower2
15-08-14, 13:58
I know what you mean about not knowing what it's like unless you've suffered it yourself, I was so much more of a nervous wreck last week because of difficult circumstances and I'm still recovering from that this week.
I guess the motorway would have at least 3G in the area, so if you have a smartphone you could make sure someone was there to message to distract and calm you down. You will get super nervous and you won't feel like going, but do the opposite of what your mind is shouting at you to do! :D
Can't stop thinking about this trip away. Is all the pain and worry worth it. I'm prepared to lose a big chunk of money and not go! I just think I am going to be so ill and end up in Hospital; a strange one at that. I am trying to prepare for this, but I am freaking out big time. :scared15::scared15::scared15::scared15::scared15:
Sunflower2
16-08-14, 20:16
It's definitely going to be worth it! What are you doing on holiday?
I know it's like the hardest thing in the world to do, but THINK RATIONALLY. Its so impossible I know but once you find a crack of doubt that your worry isn't true you can relax a little. Why would you be super I'll while you're on holiday! Doesn't that seem like too much of a coincidence that that happens then? Plus you'll still be in the uk so it's all nhs! People get sick abroad and they end up fine too. Worst case scenario is that you'll panic a lot and get completely worked up. But then it will pass! You never have a panic attack forever, otherwise we'd all be complete nervous wrecks the whole time! When I was out today driving I felt so calm on most of the road, but really tense and nervous at certain points because that's where I've felt panicky in the past. But then the feeling goes away again and you relax a bit more.
Remember how much you've progressed these past few months, you even drove when you were feeling really tense and you survived that! And bet you felt pretty pleased with yourself afterwards?
Accept that you are likely to panic, but don't let it stop you. Panic is just like an unruly child that needs to be told to calm down!!
Are you practicing any coping techniques? You could set aside 5 minutes a day just to practice slow calming breathing so when it comes to driving it's easier to remember when you're starting to panic.
You're stronger than you feel remember!!
Can't stop thinking about this trip away. Is all the pain and worry worth it. I'm prepared to lose a big chunk of money and not go! I just think I am going to be so ill and end up in Hospital; a strange one at that. I am trying to prepare for this, but I am freaking out big time. :scared15::scared15::scared15::scared15::scared15:
STOP IT RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!
STOP
Distraction distraction Distraction distraction Distraction distraction
Distraction distraction Distraction distraction Distraction distraction
Distraction distraction Distraction distraction Distraction distraction
That's the name of the game.......
Question: how is continually thinking about it going to help?
Huh? Huh?
Be good, Carnation.... What can u occupy your mind with instead?
Because thinking about this isn't going to benefit you.
In fact, I can assure you if you make a decision here and now to Stop Thinking About It ( and reaffirm that decision when thoughts poo into your mind ) it WILL help you feel better and will result in a more positive outcome.
Sitting worrying about "what might happen" will not make the feared situations any more likely to occur as such. Worrying will Definitely induce a variety of anxiety related symptoms. That much I guarantee.
So,,,,, r up for it????
Tell the worry voice to just shut up.
Tell it you aren't interested anymore.
Tell it to get lost.
Go away.
S@D OFF!!!!
What d'ya reckon??????
I really want to do this especially as I have failed twice before. The problem at the moment is the other stresses of Life! If it was possible to be put in the Boot, I would take that option.
I going to a place that I am familiar with and know where the Hospital/Surgery is and it is a place I have stayed many times and always found it a bit of peace haven. It's just the build up to it. I keep fidgeting just thinking about it.
The Journey is not an easy one; tunnels, high bridge, and that dreaded M25!!! (My panic zone). I've arranged so much stuff to do when I get there, people to visit, meet-ups, day's out to encourage me to go. But, it's the waiting and thinking about it.
I am quite used to having attacks and trying to deal with them, but on the Motorway, there is no escape. To a certain extent, 'one is trapped'. Maybe I should get drunk or something, I just don't want to miss out on what is a normal thing like going on Holiday! :weep:
---------- Post added at 20:35 ---------- Previous post was at 20:29 ----------
WOW! Tessar, that certainly made me sit up and look.
You are right, it's the blooming worrying thing again.
I'm a born worrier. OK, going to try and not worry tomorrow. If I think about it, I'll think about the nice lunch I am going to have when I get there or the nice walk. I know how to deal with these thoughts, but I let my weak side take over.
I already worrying about Christmas and I haven't had my Holiday yet.
I'm going to try harder and I really appreciate you and Kimberley supporting me on this. This is hardly a Life threating situation, just a stupid thought!
It would be good if we could just arrange holidays and go the next day with someone else doing all the preparation etc and cancelling out the horrors of anticipatory anxiety, wouldn't it?!
Would you really be prepared to travel in the boot, carnation? That would be my worst nightmare!:D I do feel for you as it's so difficult to distract yourself from a major worry but you're going to have to stop the adrenaline building up and up in order to enjoy your holiday when you actually get there....and you will get there, safe and sound and raring to go! It's just the bit in between to get through in order to enjoy the benefits of the holiday itself. Don't deny yourself a holiday which you will enjoy.
Sunflower2
16-08-14, 23:20
Tessar I'm going to use your post as my own advice when I start to worry! It's exactly to the point, love it!
Carnation I just remembered something I used to do when I was bored sitting in the back seat on a motorway travelling as a kid. The central reservation has the little fence boundary thing yeah? If you watch it from the side window it looks like it's moving and wiggling all over the place. It kept me amused for ages haha cause it's like an optical illusion. Maybe you have no idea what I mean and maybe I sound a bit weird and crazy but honestly I used to just sit and watch it for ages!
Other things I do when I'm a passenger are... (Plus sometimes the driver) make names out of registration numbers, pick a make of car and count all that you can see, get a map and count down junction numbers, watch yourself move along on google maps zoomed in, get heaps of snacks and food and have it in a pile in the front, have stops on the way, get some really good music, have a blanket to curl up and sleep.. Lots of things to do you don't normally have time for!
It would be good if we could just arrange holidays and go the next day with someone else doing all the preparation etc and cancelling out the horrors of anticipatory anxiety, wouldn't it?!
So so true!!!
Tessar I'm going to use your post as my own advice when I start to worry! It's exactly to the point, love it!
Thanku v.much Kimberley. I found myself starting to dwell in something today & them I thought about what I said here, so then I gave myself a virtual "slap" & told myself to take my own advice. I do believe it worked!!
---------- Post added at 21:24 ---------- Previous post was at 21:22 ----------
Other things I do when I'm a passenger are... (Plus sometimes the driver) make names out of registration numbers
We do that!
Hi Guys; (figure of speech). I seemed to have calmed down a lot since posting this thread. I am not worrying at the moment, I am trying to think of all the good things about the trip and what I will do when I get there. It seems to be working so far. :)
I've still got two and half weeks to go and being an organized person, I am putting my Mind to the packing; including my survival kit well ahead of time. So, I can forget about any unnecessary panics. (The Cat's coming too).
Your tips have really helped me including the kick up the rear from you Tessar; (I know it's done in the best possible taste). I am adopting a 'worry box'. Everything I worry about, I write down on a piece of paper and stick it in the "worry box'. Then when I want to worry, I can go to the box and worry about everything in the box all in one go and then shut the box again. It may work, it might not, but it's worth a try. :D
Less than 48 hours to go and I have been keeping myself so busy, I am totally exhausted. Now, starting to Panic a bit and to top it all, I just spent a couple of days at my Mum's and forgot to take the charger for the lap-top, so was cut off from my favorite Site. I a little worried because I have become so attached to NMP, that I start to get edgy if I can't get online. Two days is ok, but I have really missed it.
So. back to the dreaded journey. This will be my third attempt and I have got loads to do before I go; which is good; I think? I'm taking on board everyone's Tips and I have a friend to call if I feel bad. (Where would we be without our friends?).
I am determined to face this and overcome my fear, unfortunately my Mind disagrees. So, I am going to try and control the Mind and hopefully I will be ok. :)
Sunflower2
03-09-14, 19:23
I was wondering where you were! I've also become very attached to this forum, it's given me support in such a huge way that I was missing before.
You can do this!! I believe in you even if you don't believe yourself. Let your mind do what it wants, it won't stop you from overcoming this :)
I am determined to face this and overcome my fear, unfortunately my Mind disagrees. So, I am going to try and control the Mind and hopefully I will be ok. :)
This says it all, carnation and it is why you WILL succeed.
Dig deep and be determined because you CAN do it.
Thanks Tessar.
'WILL' and 'CAN' are the two words I am going to use on my journey.
I am not saying that I feel nervous, because I am, but unless I do this, I am going to remain a prisoner in my own Town! I've always been a survivor, but on the other hand, I've always felt like a victim. Does that make any sense?
I'm starting to feel anxious about it, but I am keeping myself busy and basically just want to go. It's the waiting that is the worst. :ohmy:
I have had to come on here today, because I am in a terrible state. I've been crying, disorientated, can't even begin to pack and I'm falling apart. I have these terrible feeling of dread and imagining all sort of strange things. This morning, I was convinced the ceiling was going to fall down and when I had a bath, I was worried the bath was going to drop through the floor. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I have actually lived in a place where the ceiling did actually collapse. I'm jittery, drained and really anxious about everything. This Holiday is scaring the hell out of me and my Partner is just going about his business as usual and has no idea how I am feeling. I wonder sometimes if he knows I'm actually here at all? I need to calm down and I don't know what to do with myself. Normally, I just keep really busy and occupy my Mind, but it's not working today. If I'm like this today, God knows how I am going to be tomorrow. And, to top it all, I've got to pack three people's suitcases and I can't even bring myself to even get the cases out of the wardrobe. Just sitting here, crying and feeling drained. Thought I could do this, but I'm struggling so much today. :scared15:
---------- Post added at 12:32 ---------- Previous post was at 12:06 ----------
Help!!!! Now my Partner has shouted at me telling me to get on with stuff and when I mentioned I was upset, he told me to stop being a victim and get on with it.
I don't even want to go anymore now. :weep::weep::weep::weep::weep::weep::weep::weep::w eep:
---------- Post added at 12:46 ---------- Previous post was at 12:32 ----------
I can't stop crying. I've just smashed a plate in the kitchen and I am spiraling out of control. Can't calm down. Don't know what to do with myself. Whats the point of it all? Feel really let down by everything and can't carry on in this way anymore. :weep:
Sunflower2
04-09-14, 12:55
Carnation stop! I actually came on here to also get support as I feel like I'm falling apart slowly but surely. I can't even seem to face going out in my car at all any more even for a 5 minute run. I can't eat properly again and I just feel isolated and awful.
But this isn't us!! We are still the strong confident people inside this horrible anxiety. We will get through this. Somewhere in your mind is the voice that told you you CAN do this. And you will. You have to not listen to anything your mind says. It's wrong. My mind is wrong. It's just making up excuses so you don't have to feel scared. But it's ok to be scared sometimes.
Shut out the negativity and get on with the immediate task in hand.
Don't listen to the catastrophic thoughts that could happen. Your rational thinking has currently been turned off so any bad thing you think will just seem like it will definitely happen.
And take a deep breath. It's going to be ok. And I feel like utter rubbish at the moment as well if that helps your we are in this together and we will get out of this together. :hugs:
Oh Kimberley, what will we do. Normally I help you when you are down and vice-versa. What has happened to us? Is it the Stress!? I have had huge amounts of stress lately, so have you. Don't worry about the car today, there is always another day. And, although I feel like shit, I am still going to try, I need to get through and out the other side. Otherwise I am going to go backwards again; I can feel it happening. I want it to stop. I haven't eaten either. We must, the Anxiety is worse without food, we both know that. And the weather isn't that great today. I am going to try and find a film to watch and just do nothing and see if I can calm down. Can you get a plate of picky bits to eat and do the same? We must help each other on this. :hugs:
Sunflower2
04-09-14, 13:35
Oh no I am going out in my car today. I WILL AND I CAN. Anxiety has taken so much from me and I'm fighting back. I had my lunch but was just eating so slowly, I get phases where I get obsessed with swallowing and constantly feel like I've forgotten how to eat and then get scared and panicky and upset. But I'm not going to obsess over it. It will come and it will go like it always does. I know they weather here is really cloudy but really bright and its giving me a sore head :(
Now I am away out driving (imagine me running screaming at my car like a madwoman ;) ) COME ON ANXIETY GIVE ME YOUR WORST I'M NOT SCARED.
Good for you. OK. I will start packing my suitcase. The pathetic Anxiety is not going to ruin my Holiday again! I've waited a whole year for this. I've stopped crying, I'm eating something and then I am going to get my behind into gear. Anxiety came, I received it and now I've told it to go take a hike! :mad:
Sunflower2
04-09-14, 15:21
Well I went out driving! Now you have to come back and tell me your suitcase is packed!
One of them is, still two to go. It's taking me a bit of time, but I'll get there.
I just want to go really, hate all the beforehand stuff and waiting.
Pleased you went out for a drive, hope it went ok. :)
Sunflower2
04-09-14, 16:11
Yeah the waiting is always the worst bit. Once I was out it was fine! It reminded me of how driving is actually fine and when I panic it's not as bad as I think afterwards. This time tomorrow it will all be over! :)
Packed! Just chucked a load of stuff in, not really important, more important to get away. Feel much better than this morning. Let's hope I don't chicken out tomorrow. :ohmy:
OMG carnation wot a day 4 u. Poor u. But u r getting thro. U r brave and courageous but do need to stop your catastrophic thoughts. Remind yourself they will not help. They r just anxiety talking, tell anxiety to get lost. It is NOT welcome. You are going to do this carnations.
Also remind yourself that the fear is worse than the thing itself.
It really is.
I wouldn't say that if it wasn't true.
And.... The thing about facing it is..... If you don't go for it..... You won't get to discover that indeed it is possible to go through the fear barrier. To experience enjoyable things, to feel excited about them and no longer scared.
That is where you can be soon.
Keep positive.
Tell anxiety to sod right off!!
Sunflower2
04-09-14, 21:24
Yay for packing!
Now anxiety tonight may come up and try to convince you it's a very bad idea to go tomorrow. That the car is way too scary and you have to stay at home. It will also do that tomorrow morning before you leave most likely. It'll try every trick in the book to keep you at home, thoughts, symptoms, weird feelings, tears, fear, nightmares, the whole lot.
But you know what you have to say to anxiety. You can't beat me. You are just trying to stop me from getting out and enjoying my holiday and I don't need you to protect me. And tomorrow evening you can look back and say to yourself, see, I did it!
I promise you can do this Carnation!!
Thanks you two. You'll never guess what I just done this evening.
I got in the car and drove it down to Fish & Chip shop, got the dinner and drove back.
And, enjoyed it. :D
I was determined to break some of this fear and I thought if I took the car thing by the horns it would help me tomorrow.
Don't know how I am going to feel in the morning, but I am packed and ready to go.
---------- Post added at 22:05 ---------- Previous post was at 22:03 ----------
And, I was wearing flip-flops!!
Sunflower2
04-09-14, 22:40
Brilliant!! I find when you are in that mood to attack anxiety you need to take the opportunity to push yourself just a little bit further.
I'll keep an eye on here tomorrow morning (since I'm currently unemployed!!) and if you're feeling anxious I will help you get out the door!
Sunshine84
04-09-14, 22:41
Good luck carnation, just read your posts and i admire your strength! I wish you all the best for your holiday, you did so well to come out of your panic and pack.hopefully the worst bit is over now and once you are actually doing it and on your way it will be better than you think. Keep us updated, big hugs!!!
Thank you Sunshine. I feel so pathetic when I have to come on here, but it really does help me. That extra support goes along way with me.
Thanks Kimberley, I am not leaving until after lunch. It's only a 3 hour journey, but it's still a milestone for me. Hate that M25!!
STOP IT carnation. No derogatory words please!!!
You are courageous and you remember that.
Sorry Tessar. I will re-word that. I will be fine in the morning and I WILL be fine on the journey and I am going on Holiday. I am strong and determined!!!!:)
Well, 20 minutes before I leave. Mother 'n' Law in Care Home, so we are now free to go away. I have been ok this morning, so that is a good sign. I will try and get a message on here when I arrive to let you know how it went. Thanks everyone for your support. :)
hey i can relate to this hate motorways thats where it all began fr me 6 years ago still cant go on them even the thought of it makes my tummy churn which leads to a panic attack i was ok untill then traveled everywhere this is what i tell myself what if this or that and especiall because cant stop if an attack happens when yu need to get out the car this is what stops me also being closed in dont even like seat belts sometimes
vagabondist
05-09-14, 18:12
Isnt it strange how much energy we put into worrying. To the point, we drive ourselves to insanity. How many times have we looked back and thought 'wow all that worry - wasnt that bad' ????
I too am a terrible traveler. Many a time i have suddenly become ill overnight just so i dont have to travel. Who am i kidding.
Im grateful for sites like this that give us the courage and to also understand we are not alone.
this is so me hate motorways no escape
Sunflower2
05-09-14, 19:46
Look forward to hearing from you Carnation. I honestly didn't think I could get any worse today, and I don't think my mum did. But from somewhere deep inside I picked myself up and feel 100 times better now! Now if I can do that you can do this! (Although it looks like you already have as you haven't been back on here!!)
Been thinking about you today Carnation .... :-)
:yesyes:I DID IT!!!! I'm Here. No Panic Attack, a few little symptoms and a bit of Anxiety, but I brushed them all aside. Played word games all the way there. Even saw a Car Accident and got held up on the M25. spent 2 hours on the M25 and 4 hours in total getting here. I am so overjoyed, I cannot tell you how pleased I am. Even waited for some sort of Attack afterwards, but nothing. I feel very tired, but the main thing was, I made it. This is fantastic news for me now, I can now travel and I feel like I am getting my Life back. I am going to make a new thread on this in more detail as a success story, because I really thought I would never venture out of my Town ever again. Thank you for helping me everyone. :yesyes::yesyes::yesyes:
Hi Carnation, been following your posts on this subject, congratulations on your major achievement, the thought of doing something is always far worse than the actual doing it! Hope you enjoy every minute of your holiday x
Thank you Susan. I will make the most of it now I am here. :)
Sunflower2
05-09-14, 22:39
Ahhhhhh congratulations!! I knew you could do it! Celebrate this success you've done so well!
Thanks Kimberley. Really looking forward to tomorrow. It's like a dream. :D
Carnation ....
I am soooooooooooooooooooooo
PROUD of you....
WELL DONE!!!!
Have a good time........
Well done Carnation ! Have a great holiday :)
Sunshine84
06-09-14, 21:50
Fantastic news carnation you did it!! So very proud of you. Enjoy every minute of your holiday! X x x
:D
Just checking in briefly. Have been so busy today out and about.
Must admit, I didn't sleep very well last night, but I never have done on the first night of staying somewhere strange. Having a few Anxiety symptoms tonight, but that is usual anyway. Got loads planned and really enjoying myself, so pleased I came. :)
That's great to hear! Well done :D
Sunflower2
07-09-14, 07:30
:D
sarahblonde32
07-09-14, 08:42
I'm currently on holiday!im staying with a friend in madrid and last night was just a serious of 'get me out of here's' ! I dont know why i book trips away as they always result in an anxiety attack.
i can do this. We can all do this!
Sarah
Hello Sarah. These days I feel much better about being away in holiday and I have a loooong trip coming up in November. For me, I have felt more confident each time I have gone away and these days I look forward to the holiday because its lovely to go somewhere different.
It took me quite a long time to gt this far and like you I had moments during holidays where I wanted to go home. my first ever holiday abroad was an organised coach tour. i inky went because some good friends of ours invited my partner and i. I expected my reaction to be "no way" but this little voice inside me said "that sounds really exciting... Maybe it's time to give it a go". It made a huge difference that one if the friends was such a lovely lady, the type who really looks after you emotionally that I had the confidence to try it.
With A couple of days left I did get overwhelmed with emotions (I cried on the flight over too) but I tolerated the feelings I was able to see it through. I am glad I did as it was the foundation of the trips I do now.
I am really gld you make these trips because even though you have these "moments" you are there and you are doing it.
Anyway.... The reason you do it, I imagine, is because you gt to see some wonderful places.
Is Madrid very interesting?
sarahblonde32
07-09-14, 09:37
Well done for making it!it feels good after but getting to that point is hard.
So far i haven't seen much of madrid tessar its the first morning so will let you know later! I just have to get out!
Reporting from Sunny Suffolk.
Have been out for a full 8 hours today. Even played mini golf; which is something I have never done before. Went on the beach, walked the Pier, lots of walking and making the most of this Holiday.
It hasn't all been plain sailing. (Excuse the pun).
I still get Anxiety symptoms in the evening, but I am wishing them away!
I know I have the journey back on Friday; fully aware of that, but now I have the knowledge that it can be done!!!! The Alphabet Game really helped me, but now I am running out of subjects. We went through; Bands, Films, Cars, Shop names, Food, Animals, Actors & Actresses. (Yeh, it was a really long journey). So if any of you can think of any other subjects I can add to my list, I would be grateful.
Thank you everyone for your messages and support, I am so pleased I have done this.
Sunshine84
08-09-14, 22:55
Well done carnation, night times are always the worst but you can do it and are doing it. The journey home always seems quicker so you will be even less anxious,plus youll be going home and have lots of happy holiday memories to think about.
Re the game, try boys names, girls names, products, things you find in a kitchen/bathroom/school etc, cold things, hot things, fruits/vegetables. Hope this helps.
Enjoy carnation im thinking of you, you have lots of support here x x x x
Thank you Sunshine, I am leaving tomorrow and I will give those a go. :)
Have u done flowers, plants and/or trees? That just came to mind for me.
Or cartoon character names? Common pet names... Rover, fido..... Etc etc.
Carnation I am really proud of you.
Your day out you describe especially......
When u r back home, you will be able to refer back to these achievements and this will help you so much,
Brilliant.........
Sunflower2
11-09-14, 21:12
Pick a brand of car then count how many you see. Or the same with colours. Types of drinks. What countries are famous for what. A words with the same first letter as the place names on the motorway sign. Areas of London. Counties in Britain. Castles and country houses. American States. Capital cities. Rivers in the world. Can't think of any more at the moment!
The journey home will be easy now :D
Oh My. I now have enough subjects for a ten hour journey.
Thanks everyone again. I am a little anxious tonight and have been feeling a little miserable today; only because it is the last day. I have been thinking that my Anxiety may have a lot to do with my normal day-to-day Life as I have been so full of Life away on Holiday. (Maybe I should stay here.:D) I am only 5 mins from the sea and it can be so calming and the fresh air is so much better for you. Haven't even been watching what I eat. My sleep has been better too. So I say, Make Holidays compulsory for us Anxiety sufferers on the NHS. Speak to you all when I get back.:)
Well, I made it home of course. I kept the word game going and I am now getting quite good at it. (Lots of practice). I didn't even want to come home and shed a few tears when I left. You know, back to the rat-race, same old, same old and heavy responsibilities of looking after Parents. But, the main thing is, I achieved and faced my phobia. It wasn't all plain sailing, but it wasn't life-threating either.
I thought I might post a separate thread on this under the 'Success Story' category as it might help others in a similar position. I really thought I was going to spend the rest of my Life in my Hometown. Thanks again for all your support and I can now say job done. :yesyes: Next on the agenda is the 'Driving'. Watch this space..........
WELL DONE CARNATION !!!!!!
I look forward to reading your success story!!!!
:flowers:
Sunflower2
13-09-14, 23:30
Well done!! So pleased for you :)
It's that time again. Another Holiday coming up and that dreadful journey on the dreadful Motorway! :scared15: This time, the weather is going to be worse, it could even snow! I really need this break, but the Anxiety of the journey is looming.
Lets look at the positives carnation.
You need the break. So... Use that as a starting point.
The negatives.... Cast them aside as best you can. Ok so the weather may not be as good but in fact it might be ok. it might not affect your journey, or if it does it may not be too adverse. So.... Between now & when you go... Try to focus away from the negative thoughts.
Think about the benefits. keep them in mind. Make them your focus.
Thanks Tessar, that's exactly what I am going to do; in Theory? But, this time I have added stress this time. I am worried about my Partner, who is driving. He is very tired and not in best health. He is exhausted with looking after his Mum and hasn't had a break for 4 months 24/7! My eyes are going to be like Hawks on the road and last time I travelled, I was concentrating on me and managing the Anxiety. This means I have to concentrate on the road and traffic, so I am going to be screaming all the way to the seaside! :scared15:
Sunflower2
21-12-14, 20:51
Maybe this concentration will keep your mind busy rather than running away with your thoughts? Also you have done this before and you know you can do it!
The weather doesn't look to be bad.. There's no snow forecast even up here so you should be fine :D
Believe you can do it and you will!
Oh I do like to be beside the seaside :-)
---------- Post added at 21:04 ---------- Previous post was at 21:03 ----------
I agree with Kimberly that it might well help to distract you.
Oh dear, the weather looks like it is going to be Arctic conditions for Holiday journey.
I can for see a cancellation!?! :scared15:
Hey, u stop it Carnation.... Lets see what happens eh? No negative thinking ya hear!!!??!!!!
I am watching the weather forecast rigidly and it is changing all the time. It's driving me crazy. It's driving my Partner crazy, because I am driving him crazy. I have until Friday, so that's more days to go crazy. :unsure:
ok carnation. time to call a halt to building and building up your nerves and anxiety. ask yourself "what will i achieve by winding myself up over this". instead how about resolving to wait til the day. quite simply wait and see what the day and the weather brings? meanwhile there is nothing at all to be gained from all this over thinking.
imagine you cut the thinking down by half. so, any time you start thinking about it.... go and do something. put some music on. write down how you feel (especially this one as i find writing really helpful - be specific - not just thoughts but feelings too).
so, if you have cut down the thinking and anxiety by half, you'll have more energy. more focus. you could use some of the energy to do something fun. maybe to help your partner with something. or perhaps use that time simply to be kind to yourself. enjoy a nice bath. feel the bubbles on your skin. enjoy feeling relaxed. do you like cooking? maybe you could plan a special meal? distraction, distraction, distraction......
You're absolutely right Tessar. The weather forecast is changing all the time, I can't keep up with it. I have got lots to do, so I am focusing on that and if the weather is really bad, we can change our dates slightly as it is flexible. We can go a day or two later and come back a day or two later, so that does help a lot. The journey in itself is a big Anxiety. First there's the M25 and the tunnel; (tunnels being another one of my phobias), then the A12 which seems to go on forever and the Orwell bridge; (yet another one of my phobias; 'Bridges'). Then those harrowing roads where cars overtake you all the time because there is only one lane and curvy at that. We have to get there before dark as there is no street lighting, and yes; that is yet another phobia of mine; the Dark! It would be easier to say what I am not afraid of, the list would be much shorter. :D Thank you Tessar, I do appreciate you taking the time out to calm me down, it really does help me. I am not too bad today, but I normally start freaking out big time the day before. I am already preparing an emergency kit incase we get stuck somewhere on the roads; and this is supposed to be a Holiday!?! Oh Boy :scared15:
Hey Carnation; thank you, i am only too pleased to help. I relate strongly to your anxiety so any suggestions or support I can give are so worth it. There's a few times i have been on those flights for work & the forecast has changed maybe 3 times in the space of a week. Back last year I used to let it bother me but now I am more used to taking the flights in all weathers.... I don't worry. What will be will be. I will check the night before (& sometimes I'm aware of the long range forecast but that's about it.
Thats the trouble it's our weather .... unpredictable & why we r so obsessed with it!!!
I wonder what it would be like to live somewhere that the weather is pretty much the same, day after day? What we need is sun by day and rain by night :-)
If you can focus on things that need doing & then as u say, if the weather's really bad, you can change your dates slightly.
I've been over the bridge & down the A12 too. My coping method was not to think about it at all beforehand. For me there seems no point. I have made my decision to go & that's it. I will do it. Fear or no for I will do it. I recall as we went thro the tunnel, as a passenger I blocked bad thoughts - probably by looking at cars around me or focusing on music playing in the car. plus there was great excitement about going away. It was better as a driver as I had the traffic to think about. As regards the other roads, like all of it they are a means to an end for you really.
A bonus of you being able to distract yourself, focus elsewhere & ultimately cope... is that your partner will really appreciate your efforts. First & foremost you will be doing this for yourself but as a byproduct, others will gain too. Hoping it goes well and sending positive vibes. Remember, the more often you do it AND SUCCEED (like you did last time) the better it gets.
Another problem has arisen now. Our Car has failed it's M.O.T. :ohmy:
Sunflower2
30-12-14, 07:39
Carnation, I just wanted to say, I was getting really worried about travelling on Sunday too as we were going down the motorway, and especially after I had been at the restaurant, facing 2 of my fears at once. But it was fine and as usual I had over reacted. Mot hopefully won't take much to fix and then you will be off on your holiday for a much needed break!!
Looks as though my Holiday is going to be cancelled now. My Mum was rushed in to Hospital today after collapsing in a Restaurant. :ohmy:
Oh no, carnation, I just read your message.... so sorry to hear that..... please let us know if she is ok?
I am on Holiday!!!!!!! :):):)
Sunflower2
03-01-15, 07:23
:yesyes:
Oh, I do like to be beside the seaside...............:D
Sunflower2
04-01-15, 10:18
So pleased for you Carnation, you deserve this break so much :)
Back from my Holiday, had a wonderful time, no nasty Panic Attacks and Anxiety was definitely in the shade. Coped with the journey quite well, despite the very strong winds and I now feel more confident about long journeys and Motorways.
Hooray for progress! :):yesyes::)
Carnation..... This is great, not only that you managed the journeys but also u were able to feel so free and enjoy yourself while you were away. I am really pleased for you.
Sunflower2
10-01-15, 11:38
Carnation you are one tough lady!
Thanks Tessar and Kimberley. I used the 'Name Game' method again and it seems to work well for me. Didn't know I could keep 'Eye-Spy' going for over 3 hours!!! :D
I've just read your story, and wanted to say well done! I'm on an island in Scotland and won't go anywhere at all. Just won't go on ferry then face staying away for even a night. I've gotten over it in the past and it's been hard but I've worked on it. I get to the ferry port and then bolt back home��. I know I'll get there eventually. The anticipatory anxiety is awful, and the days before and after of feeling sick (and upset tummy) exhaust me totally.
Good for you for fighting your way forward and doing it though. X
Thank you Peggy27. It took many attempts and I am still suffering.
I hope that you too can accomplish a journey. Don't give up, but don't push yourself too much. You will know when you are ready. Just trying is an achievement in itself. :)
Hey, I'm on Holiday!
Journey was terrible. 5 long hours. Should have taken 2, 3 at the most, but 5????
That wonderful M25 and even the A12, which is normally pretty clear.
At one point our average speed was 19mph. I was almost tempted to get out walk!
And what are they doing with the Dartford Tunnel? More digging, more hold-ups.
Anyway, as part of my therapy when travelling on Motorways and long distances, I play word games. Well, I really ran out this time, so if any of you have any topics, I would be grateful for them. We have to come up with a name from A-Z on a certain topic.
So far have done:- Countries, Cities, Bands, Actors, Actresses, Animals, Birds, Cat names, Dog names, Food, Designers, Songs, Famous Buildings, Films and Cars. :shrug:
MyNameIsTerry
12-04-15, 05:56
TV programmes, bands & artists, characters in films, Counties, states of the US, Comedians, TV hosts, names of shops, names of companies, tv programmes, quick shows, footballers, christian names of women John Terry has likely slept with :D, etc.
How about looking on the games board in the forum because there are threads with things like last letter/first letter, word association, etc. Maybe they would be things to keep you busy?
:yesyes:
Thanks Terry, that will keep me going for a couple of hours. :D
Had a lovely day today. Sunday Roast on the Pier, Ice-cream on the beach. :)
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.5 Copyright © 2024 vBulletin Solutions Inc. All rights reserved.