fearofdeath
15-08-14, 17:54
Okay, first of all, hello, I'm new here! I've been checking out your health anxiety threads but I didn't think I'd join, not until this anxiety got this severe.
This may be a long message because I have a lot of things in my mind, but I really, really hope you would take your time to read it, because I feel that I really need help from others possibly suffering from similar things..
I've had anxiety of some level before but the health anxiety is pretty new, it started early this summer. Even though it's been a couple of months only, I've already had a lot of worries and fears about my health. It started with the fear of breast cancer after I found a lump (And here I should note that I'm 19 years old, so I guess I really shouldn't be worrying of such things). I had an ultrasound and was assured I didn't have anything there and stopped worrying about it, but it was already too late, the anxiety had started and now there was no stopping it!
I've also had chest pain and numbness and feared a heart attack but, by far the most terrible fear I've had by this far is the fear of something in my brain that is going to kill me. At first I feared a brain tumor but I got over it somehow. Now I've had a seriously bad fear of either having a brain aneurysm that is leaking a little by little or otherwise showing warning signs that it's going to rupture any moment, or not having an aneurysm but otherwise having a vein suddenly burst in there, killing me.
This fear is because I started having a lot of headaches this summer, right after I had finished worrying about the breast cancer. (And before the summer I very rarely had any headaches ever in my life) For around 6 weeks now, I've had headaches more or less, that occur especially in the RIGHT side of my head (that's what concerns me!). It's usually not a bad headache but slight pains that I feel for about a second at a time, they come and go throughout the day. I've also had other weird feelings in my head, in the first week of these symptoms I had a dizzy feeling, and I've also had warm and cold sensations in the same areas where I get the aches, my ears sometimes feel warm and sometimes get clogged (or just one ear, often the right one..), and sometimes I see floaters in my vision.
I have seen a doctor because I got so anxious I couldn't take it anymore, and he diagnosed me with a tension neck telling me that's what's causing the headache. I have had my head scanned (mri i think), 4 or 5 years ago for completely different reasons, back then my brain seemed fine, but I think the aneurysms could form at any time, couldn't they? I felt better for some time after seeing the doctor and my symptoms got better too! I had much less headaches, saw less floaters, had less warm and cold feelings..
And now just a couple of days ago my anxiety kicked in again, and quite severely. I'm beginning to have those hot&cold feelings and more headaches again, I'm wondering if it's the anxiety that's causing it. Why is it almost always on the right side..
The problem is, I know this fear may be irrational or so, but I can't help it! I try to think of other things, and then it kicks in again, making me want to cry. I can't plan the future because I feel that that assumed aneurysm would be bursting any day, any moment. That's what scares me, it's so sudden.
I'm worried that maybe my blood pressure is high, it was measured when I saw the doctor but I don't remember what it was!
Please, can you please try to convince me why I wouldn't have an aneurysm.
I spend all days trying to convince myself but it doesn't make any difference. Googling won't convince me I don't have it, it will more likely convince me that I do. Or if you can't convince me, can you at least suggest what I could do to get over this fear? I don't want to spend my life worrying, I want to be able to enjoy and plan things like I did before the summer! Now I feel that my life is ruined, possibly for good :( :unsure:
I'm sorry about the long speech, but this is my first post so I sort of wanted to give a little background info about my situation as well..
This may be a long message because I have a lot of things in my mind, but I really, really hope you would take your time to read it, because I feel that I really need help from others possibly suffering from similar things..
I've had anxiety of some level before but the health anxiety is pretty new, it started early this summer. Even though it's been a couple of months only, I've already had a lot of worries and fears about my health. It started with the fear of breast cancer after I found a lump (And here I should note that I'm 19 years old, so I guess I really shouldn't be worrying of such things). I had an ultrasound and was assured I didn't have anything there and stopped worrying about it, but it was already too late, the anxiety had started and now there was no stopping it!
I've also had chest pain and numbness and feared a heart attack but, by far the most terrible fear I've had by this far is the fear of something in my brain that is going to kill me. At first I feared a brain tumor but I got over it somehow. Now I've had a seriously bad fear of either having a brain aneurysm that is leaking a little by little or otherwise showing warning signs that it's going to rupture any moment, or not having an aneurysm but otherwise having a vein suddenly burst in there, killing me.
This fear is because I started having a lot of headaches this summer, right after I had finished worrying about the breast cancer. (And before the summer I very rarely had any headaches ever in my life) For around 6 weeks now, I've had headaches more or less, that occur especially in the RIGHT side of my head (that's what concerns me!). It's usually not a bad headache but slight pains that I feel for about a second at a time, they come and go throughout the day. I've also had other weird feelings in my head, in the first week of these symptoms I had a dizzy feeling, and I've also had warm and cold sensations in the same areas where I get the aches, my ears sometimes feel warm and sometimes get clogged (or just one ear, often the right one..), and sometimes I see floaters in my vision.
I have seen a doctor because I got so anxious I couldn't take it anymore, and he diagnosed me with a tension neck telling me that's what's causing the headache. I have had my head scanned (mri i think), 4 or 5 years ago for completely different reasons, back then my brain seemed fine, but I think the aneurysms could form at any time, couldn't they? I felt better for some time after seeing the doctor and my symptoms got better too! I had much less headaches, saw less floaters, had less warm and cold feelings..
And now just a couple of days ago my anxiety kicked in again, and quite severely. I'm beginning to have those hot&cold feelings and more headaches again, I'm wondering if it's the anxiety that's causing it. Why is it almost always on the right side..
The problem is, I know this fear may be irrational or so, but I can't help it! I try to think of other things, and then it kicks in again, making me want to cry. I can't plan the future because I feel that that assumed aneurysm would be bursting any day, any moment. That's what scares me, it's so sudden.
I'm worried that maybe my blood pressure is high, it was measured when I saw the doctor but I don't remember what it was!
Please, can you please try to convince me why I wouldn't have an aneurysm.
I spend all days trying to convince myself but it doesn't make any difference. Googling won't convince me I don't have it, it will more likely convince me that I do. Or if you can't convince me, can you at least suggest what I could do to get over this fear? I don't want to spend my life worrying, I want to be able to enjoy and plan things like I did before the summer! Now I feel that my life is ruined, possibly for good :( :unsure:
I'm sorry about the long speech, but this is my first post so I sort of wanted to give a little background info about my situation as well..