View Full Version : Intrusive Thoughts
I don't know if it's my generalized anxiety causing the intrusive thoughts or if I have some form of ocd but I've noticed that certain words get stuck in my head. And my mind repeats it over and over like a mantra sometimes like for example death to smoochy has been stuck in my head for a week and I've never even seen that movie so has the word death by itself. Also sometimes my mind lies and says that awful things have happened to me when they haven't or that I want these things to happen to myself and that really freaks me out. I've had really upsetting intrusive thoughts that made me so feel so bad about myself. But these seem worse and I don't know how to ignore them and it's like I'm playing a bad game of which horrible thought would you rather have.
Hey aangel, I know exactly how you feel. Intrusive thoughts are my main problem. I know it's hard but to get through it you just have to accept the thoughts and know that they're just thoughts nothing more than that. They don't define you. They mean nothing. I promise they will pass. If it's especially severe medication might help you like it has been helping me.
I know how frustrating it is feeling like your mind is working against you but you just have to stay positive through it all and remind yourself that you're in control.
Stay strong girly :) the people on here are always here to talk to you and reassure you everything is going to be okay!
Thank you for your kind words. I'm trying to remain positive but it's been really hard. I just didn't think my thoughts could get any worse after I finally came to terms with those thoughts that I could hurt my loved ones (those really broke my heart). I'm used to worrying about other people. But now my thoughts have seemed to zeroed on the fact that horrible things could happened to me and I really hate that. I just really don't want to get to the point where I'm afraid to leave the house and I fear it's already happening. And I don't understand how things could have took a turned so fast because two—three weeks ago I was in a completely different mindset. It's really been interfering with my sleep and I've always been a night owl but now it's like I'm afraid to go to sleep. I'll start drifting off and some scary thought pops into my head and the next thing I know I'm wide awake.
I went through the same exact thing with the thoughts about family members. I was crying everyday and then magically they just passed. Of course something else came along and I'm now obsessing over that but you have to try and remember that it will all pass. I've found that forcing yourself to go out actually helps. It's the thought of being out that usually scares me and then as soon as I push myself to do it I find I actually enjoy it and it isn't as bad as I worked it up to be. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. It's awful, I know, trust me. And I completely relate to you on the whole sleep thing. I was having such a rough time. Luckily for me I had my parents support. It sounds crazy but I actually had to sleep on their floor for a while because I was terrified I was going to wake up in my sleep and hurt them or myself. Anyway.. The point of me telling you that is that I'm no longer afraid of that. I've moved past it and I'm no longer afraid of it because I know it's just my anxiety.
Stay positive, talk it out as much as possible, and rationalize with yourself. I know it's hard to constantly battle with your mind but it WILL pass. All it takes is time :)
I understand what you mean. Since I've been staying all up hours of the night I usually end up in my mom's room and I've been sleeping in there in the early mornings. I keep trying to remind myself that this is just anxiety but this with this new physical anxiety symptom where whenever I have these new batch of intrusive thoughts I get really cold all over. So it's been really hard with that aspect. My mind is really working in overtime and everything in this whole world is a threat to my safety and my life. And my anxiety is making my mind think, "Why weren't worried about this before? How stupid were we not to worry about this before?" Then there's the whole, "This is a possible threat and so is that, that, & that" and "What if this—nope too much uncertainty for that". I can't believe that all this nonsense started last Saturday. I'm trying really hard not to let it get the best of me. I'm only 23 and I can remember when I was 18 and anxiety free and just all those things I wanted for myself. I don't want to forever be stuck because I'm afraid of all the things could happen when it comes to the things I want.
I'm about to be 20 and everyday for the past two months I think to myself "how did you not worry about this kind of stuff before?!" But the more and more I think about it the more I realize I've actually dealt with anxiety my entire life without noticing it. Of course not to this extent but it was always there. It just sucks because I feel like I have to put my life on hold for it. Like I have to postpone school and things that could trigger my anxiety right now.
you're still in the very early stages of it and so I am but the first few weeks were awful. I thought it wouldn't get better, but it did. And it continues to. So just hold on to that as much as you can.
Do you feel comfortable seeing a doctor?
You don't have to be on antidepressants or anything I'm sure they could prescribe you something for when the anxiety is too much.
I take Ativan and that helps me sleep and makes my thoughts insanely clear.
As for the physical aspects of it.. I haven't had too many physical problems resulting from the anxiety. The only thing I've noticed is that my vision sometimes gets blurry and I space out and zone out a lot now. It's incredibly annoying but I'm doing my best to ignore it.
I really think the best thing me and you can do is ignore the anxiety as much as possible and treat it as nothing more than anxiety. That goes for all the symptoms of it too. Who knows we might be feeling back to normal before we know it.
Also I'm always here to talk, you can always send me a private message if you need someone to confide in.
We're close in age so that's also pretty cool! Haha
Yeah, I think even as a kid I've always been a worrier. Granted from what I remember most of my time was spent worrying about silliest stuff like school projects and scary movies (to this day I still can't watch Pet Sematary). But I think because my focus was directed on so many other things and then there was the fact that I so much more active then because of bike riding and playing with my scooter. I guess it was just easier to cope then because I had so many moments where I wasn't lost in my head.
Now that I think about I'm pretty sure I had stint with anxiety when I was 15. It was after we after we had moved to another state and I wasn't handling it well. But after going to the same school with the same people from kindergarten to 6th to transferring to six schools in four years due to family circumstances I guess it was sort of traumatic in a way. I remember worrying a lot and staying up late walking around my room. I didn't do anything and it eventually it went away.
The plan is to see a doctor I just have to gather up the guts to call and make an appointment. The physical symptoms are something that popped up this month for me.
Thanks for talking to me. Writing this all out has been a really good distraction and in someways it's made me feel a lot better. Yesterday I was really bummed that having my nieces visit (they're both 7 & 3) didn't cheer me up like it normal does. It's really cool to have someone near my age that I can talk to. I have cousins who I'm close in age and friends with but they're busy with their lives & they don't really know what's going on inside of my head. So it would great to talk to someone who's going through the same thing I am.
That's exactly how I remember it. Like I look back on things and I remember how much I overthought them and how unhealthy it actually was for me. I think this recent breakdown was the result of all of that. The intrusive thoughts about harming my family started at a super young age for me so I was absolutely terrified by them. I remember suppressing them as much as possible and being so afraid to tell my mom because I had no idea what anxiety or intrusive thoughts were at that age. I always thought my family was going to send me away for being crazy. Eventually they just went away on their own and then all of a sudden years and years later they came back. I didn't and still don't understand it. It's so frustrating. You start to hate yourself and be mad at yourself for not being able to control it.
It's gotten so much better though. That's one thing we can always count on. No matter how bad it gets there's always going to be a brighter day.
I agree with the whole being active thing too. I used to do sports and go to school and have homework and things to do constantly and then I graduated and started working full time and it's just left me alone with my thoughts a little bit more than id like. Let me know how the doctor's visit goes! I was scared to go too but being on medication has helped me progress sooooo much. The scariest part is just getting yourself there. There's no need to suffer in silence when there's people who can help you feel better :)
And no problem girl! I'm happy to talk whenever, like I said. It's nice talking to someone my age who can relate to me because all my close friends have no idea what I'm talking about when I try to explain to them how I feel. People who don't have anxiety or depression have no idea what it's like. They think it's like a made up illness or something. It's super annoying and frustrating. I try not to be mad at my friends though because sometimes I don't even understand how I'm feeling so how should I expect them to :roflmao:
i have bad thoughts people, only certain people, are mad at me. so i seek reassurance, constantly it seems. i also have thoughts that god is mad at me and i normally repeat scripture over and over, but when it comes to god thoughts, i go into a panic.
Kaitics, that sounds awful! I'm so sorry. Intrusive thoughts are the absolute worst. They play such tricks on our minds. Are you taking any type of medication?
kaitics,
Everything I've ever read about intrusive thoughts (and believe me I've read a lot) says the thoughts aren't the problem it's the way person who having the thought reacts to it. Everyone has scary irrational thoughts but people who don't have anxiety are able to dismiss them without a problem. The best way to deal with those is to let them be there and ignore them. It's really hard and it sucks. I'm still struggling with these new batch of intrusive thoughts but my old ones went away so it does work.
MyNameIsTerry
18-08-14, 02:09
Hi aangel,
I have GAD, depression and a few forms of OCD, some touching & checking which I have largely stopped now and some Magical Thinking OCD, but I have and still do experience some violent thoughts.
I found that nothing was really working much for me, medication and CBT only helped a little, but my therapist introduced me to Mindfulness meditation which really helped with the thoughts. It teaches you to relax and monitor your thoughts, pull them away from areas you don't want them to go to and to focus. Mindfulness isn't just practiced as meditation though, it's a way of living from Buddhism so it can be used in exercise, eating, handling of objects, etc.
Why not have a look at it? There is loads around, some threads on the therapy board on here for instance, there are books, 8 week courses, etc. The 8 week courses, MBSR in the US and MBCT in the UK have some threads about them with links in. MBSR is Jon Kabat-Zinn's creation whereas as MBCT was jointly created by Professor Mark Williams (and the other name escapes me) in the UK which was based on MBSR and now has approval for use in our National Health Service (NHS) and private practice by the National Institute for Clinical Excellence (NICE) who recommend treatments in the medical field.
---------- Post added at 02:05 ---------- Previous post was at 02:01 ----------
i have bad thoughts people, only certain people, are mad at me. so i seek reassurance, constantly it seems. i also have thoughts that god is mad at me and i normally repeat scripture over and over, but when it comes to god thoughts, i go into a panic.
Have a look on here at the Religious form of OCD and see if this fits how you experience yours:
http://www.ocduk.org/types-ocd
Could it be with those people that you lack confidence or have been put down in the past which has caused you to focus on them?
---------- Post added at 02:09 ---------- Previous post was at 02:05 ----------
kaitics,
Everything I've ever read about intrusive thoughts (and believe me I've read a lot) says the thoughts aren't the problem it's the way person who having the thought reacts to it. Everyone has scary irrational thoughts but people who don't have anxiety are able to dismiss them without a problem. The best way to deal with those is to let them be there and ignore them. It's really hard and it's sucks. I'm still struggling with these new batch of intrusive thoughts but my old ones went away so it does work.
Yes, I agree as well from my own experience. For instance, I still get the violent ones but they no longer cause me anxiety because I let them float through without confirmation of them. I have found myself laughing at how ridiculous they are.
The area of the brain that stores these memories uses our emotional response to gauge their importance and relevance. So, if you react with anxiety, a strong emotion, it stores that and keeps triggering those feelings again. By not responding, you reverse the process...but it is hard work!
I found with my anxiety, it only fuelled the OCD so by reducing my GAD, the OCD started to drift away or wasn't as hard to tackle.
I does shift as well. I had GAD for about 4 years before the OCD started, but I can see periods of OCD in my past where I never realised it.
Kaitics, that sounds awful! I'm so sorry. Intrusive thoughts are the absolute worst. They play such tricks on our minds. Are you taking any type of medication?
no i'm not. my doctor won't put me on meds.
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