Traumatized by last Job.. Take a break?

[inthemind85]

Hi all,

I've been out work since Feb this year after I got my first full blown panic attack. Fast forward to now and i've had many attacks since, my fitness has gone down a little, and i'm constantly tired. I think i've got a little depressed of late due to the Panic Attacks and also Health Anxiety creeping in.

I've decided I'm through with my current career, and my current employer was the nail in the coffin. Admittedly I didn't talk much, but it was a small office and everybody liked to b*tch and moan about anything (and when you're in a small office, any tension is amplified 1000%!). Also they were all much older than me and I feel I got taken advantage of because of my shy nature.

I can't help but think about the job and the feelings I had there, even seeing a colleague/bosses name written down gives me chills. So, it's time to move on..

..but I have no jobs lined up, i'm lucky enough to be with my parents who will support me. I can't be arsed with JSA at the moment as i'm still in a bit of a state. My parents suggested voluntary work, and gently try to get back out there.

Do any of you feel that one particular job/colleague or incident completely changed you? Or that you were with a grumpy colleague in work for so long it started to eat away at you each day?

I now want to forget it ever happened and move on with my life.

[AnxietyDJ]

Hey, sorry to hear that you're suffering right now.

I can only speak from my perspective and say that the best thing I ever did was telling my current employer about my problems (backed up by my GP); they have been really supportive and I was surprised at how much it has helped. I know it is easy for me to say, but try not to worry about what your colleagues may or may not think - at the end of the day, your boss shouldn't tell anyone what is wrong with you if you do speak to them, and you can then go ahead and tell everyone as much or a little as you choose (I also work in a very small company). It's very difficult for me to comment on the actual employer though and whether they are the cause of your issues, or if the issues were there outside of workplace but being at work emphasises them? You have nothing to lose by arranging a meeting with your boss / HR, but make sure you've already spoken to your GP beforehand in case they ask for proof of your issues.

Good luck!! :)

[avviexo]

Hello my lovely, i started a new job last August, and i love it! But i noticed that since a new member of staff started their my anxiety and depression got really bad. Sometimes i wonder if its her thats making it happen but cannot understand why.
Take some time out, i worked in a job that made my depression so bad that i thought about suicide (which never happens to me.) I had to leave and had a few months on sick leave and it made me feel so much better. Concentrate on your health and taking some me time. You will be surprised at how much better it will make you feel.
:hugs:

A x

[inthemind85]

Thanks for the reply.

Given the fact I have extreme Social Anxiety/Depression at the moment, I can't really trust my own opinion. It is possible that the job is merely exacerbating my Social Anxiety. So I only want to leave because I find it uncomfortable.

I think I also have a bit of an authority complex, i've also struggled to do things independently and make my own decisions (living with parents at 29).

This isn't the first time I have left a job because I didn't 'feel right' there. My fear is that I will throw this job away only to find the feelings travel with me to the next job.

I'm struggling to function outside of work right now, so there is something else going on besides the job. If it really was just my job I would be cured by now (off long-term sick for 6 months).

I think because my social life outside of work is virtually non-existent, I rely too much on my relationships in work to be perfect. I understand there are always going to be clashes in personality and people have their own lives outside of work. There isn't really a social buzz in my place; people come in, natter, do their job and then go to their own lives.

I've been with my current employer for a few years and worked hard for them. They have said before I am a valued member of the team. Also I have met my boss outside work already and found that there is complete support for me, and they are happy for me to come back in my own time.

I think perhaps giving it another go could help; I just don't want to jump back in and start to get panic attacks in the office. Then again, they may not happen, and a distraction could be all I need again to get through it and get some independence back.

[leolight]

I have had a smilier thing happen to me in the past. I was with a company for 5 years and over that time I started to feel anxious there and alienated, because of my anxieties. I wasn't supported by my employers. In the end I left because I couldn't cope anymore, it was honestly the best thing I ever did. I got a new job and I felt so much better, all the anxiety I felt about work were gone because I found somewhere that fit me better. Maybe if you found somewhere else you might feel more comfortable. I know its really difficult though, I agree that you should take some time to look after yourself, but when your ready think about what you really want. Good luck