Trying to get a grip

[aangel]

Honestly, I don't what's going on with me but I've been in the strangest mood ever, this week. I'm trying to recall if I ever felt this way in all my dealings with anxiety. Maybe I've been cooped up in the house too long. I still live at home with my mom & step dad and I'm not working at the moment. Since I don't have a car or anything most of my time is spent at home alone (weekdays anyway) until my 12 year old sister gets home from school but she's autistic. For the most part I was okay but the later part of the day felt like I was in trance (my emotions seemed kind of muted). I just sat and spent a lot thinking a life and death and questioning how good of person do I think I am. Trying to feel better I even picked up some bible literature that my grandmother gave me to read a long time ago. My family believes in god but we're not the most religious people but my grandmother is. Anyway while I was reading the head pressure I've been experiencing for on and off for over week kind of vanished and turned into tingling in back of my head. My heart started racing and my body felt like it was trembling from the inside. I kept getting these intense spikes of fear in my brain. One of my arm tingled and I kept touching my throat because it felt kind of hard to swallow. I also kept checking to make sure I was okay and wasn't going to faint. I don't what I'm asking for maybe some reassurance. I'm tired of being scared all the time. I just really want to get back to being myself, whoever that is.

[leolight]

I have experienced this before, where it feels like it comes on all of a sudden, I also feel like Im going to faint but never do. I have also had times where for several days my mood is strange, it was difficult to explain to anyone, other than I just didn't feel like myself. For me I think they went away the more I tried to focus on what was around me, trying to get out of my head for a while, if thats even possible with anxiety! Don't worry you are not alone, I used to feel scared all the time, and I still do have moments of it now, but I found it helpful to see a therapist to help me clarify a little of what I could be feeling or what was making me feel that way. How you thought about therapy? Best thing is to stay as positive as you can, I believe we can all find our way back, we just need some help, whatever or wherever that may be.

[aangel]

Thanks, I had a long talk with my mother yesterday granted I'm still somewhat anxious but I feel loads better today :). Yes, the plan is to get some sort therapy soon and if I'm also working at the same time (because my plan for awhile has always been to save up to go to dental assisting school) I feel like it would be really good for me even if my anxiety is trying to convince me otherwise.

[leolight]

Good I'm glad your feeling better :). It could be really good for you, let me know how it goes. Don't let your anxiety beat you, remember you control your anxiety, it does not control you, you can get through this.