I can't handle this

[matt1981]

I was already feeling anxious about christmas this year, I was already dreading it then I found out yesterday that my nan died. There are so many thoughts swiimming round my head. Everybody else is is talking and getting on with it even my mum who is devastated. I havent stopped crying today and I don't know why. It is sad but I was never really that close to her. I am more upset than anyone I don't know why. Im afraid that I am just going to make people feel worse I dont know what to do!! please help!!

[Nel]

Hi Matt,

Sorry for your loss hon x

There are lots of us feeling the pressure, have a wee look at this thread and keep your chin up bud.

Anxious as hell (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=15864)

___________________________________________
"At the end of a storm, there's a golden sky..."

[manmoor]

Hey Matt big hugs for you today. Sorry to hear about your nan. (((((((((((hugs)))))))))))

Take Care

Mandyxx

[Southern_Belle]

Hi Matt,

I am so sorry for your loss. Sometimes when we lose loved ones even though we weren't particularly close to them it brings out feelings that we have pushed down and brings them to the surface and we are able to release them. Then again maybe you were closer to her than you even realized. I think you should just let these feelings for whatever reason out and grieve. It is part of the process. It doesn't matter that you are feeling it more than others you have to be you. Cry your heart out, if you are angry pound your pillow, talk to others about your feelings, do what you need to do to get beyond this. Whatever you do please do not push these feelings down it will not benefit you in anyway. I wish for you the best and if you ever need to talk please pm me.

Again, so sorry for your loss.

Bel

"Our thoughts are our reality"

[yorkylover]

Hello Matt,im so sorry to hear of your loss.This time of year really gets some people down,and the loss of your gran around christmas time is very upsetting for you.You are probably a very emotional person,and are finding it harder than the rest of the family.They are probably grieving in there own way.
Take care

Ellen XX

[mick]

hi Matt
sorry to haer about your nan, listen cry away m8 get it of your chest it will ease the anxiety your suffering,blokes are allowed to cry to m8 forget all that macho bullsh.t crying is a coping mechanism ive learned this from counselling dont hold back let it out your find you will cope better in the days ahead
take it easy
Mick

my life has been full of terrible events most of which have never happened!

[tnt808]

Matt,

So sorry for your loss. Everybody grieves differently, if this is your way just go with it. I wish you the best and remember you will get through this and the Holidays as well. If you need to vent just pm.




"Be The Change You Want To See In The World"...

Take Care of You,


Tina

[nomorepanic]

Matt

Sorry for your loss.

You should be grieving in whatever way helps you. There is no right or wrong way in which death effects us. You won't make people feel worse and you need to cry to deal with it.

Nicola

People will forget what you said
People will forget what you did
But people will never forget how you made them feel

[jill]

Hi Matt

I am soo sorry to hear about your loss, my heart goes out to you.

When someone dies it hits us all in different ways, there is no wrong in crying, crying releases natural hormones which help us.

You are not going to make people feel worse, they know you are grieving. I know its no help, but time is a great healer.

YOU TAKE CARE

LOVE JILLXX

Fear is the darkroom
where negatives are developed.....


When you fear something,
learn as much about it as you can.
Knowledge conqers fear...

[matt1981]

Youve all started me off again lol! thank you so much for all your messages you have all really helped

matt xx

[jo61]

So sorry to hear your news matt. Take care

Jo xx

[Dex]

Hi Matt
Sorry to hear about you losing your nan.

The way in which we handle a loss of anyone we know, however close they are, family or not is basically an unknown quantity. I lost my father a couple of days before Christmas some years back. Made harder of course having Christmas just round the corner. The thing is Matt your general state of anxiety (that's why we're all here) isn't going to help you deal with this too easily at the moment. Maybe if this had happened at any other time in your life you'd be coping better. I don't think you need worry yourself about feeling more upset than anyone else. Lots of people (rightly or wrongly) put on a brave face in public and tear themselves apart in private. Perhaps your Mum copes better with the loss by getting on with things to keep her mind occupied. This time of year everyone's busy, especially Mums who always end up doing more than most in the family so it may well hit her later on. There's no need to be afraid thinking you might make people feel worse. I guarantee you won't cos we all have our own ways of dealing with it. Ther's no text book. When my Dad died I kept it together cos stupidly I felt I had to now being the "head of the family" and all that !. Years later it came out of me.

Do your crying mate and don't worry whatever anyone else thinks. I still fill up whenever I think about my Mum and Dad and these days I've learnt to let it go and never worry about it. It's normal human behaviour, nothing else.

I hope you can have a happy Christmas Matt, I'm sure your Nan would want you to try.

I'm going to try and get to Midnight Mass this year, first time since my Mum died and totally lost my faith. I'll say a little prayer for you and your Nan.

Take it easy.

Dex

[shoegal]

So sorry for your loss.

Take care.

shoegal xxx

[groovygranny]

My dear Matt, it doesn't matter how close or not we may have felt to someone who has just gone - grief is grief and you must allow yourself to grieve. When my daughter lost a very close friend, whom I hadn't even met, I cried nearly non-stop for two days. It almost felt as if I'd lost a member of my own family.

I lost my father 2yrs ago in January, but I feel his loss more around Christmas because he was such a clown and always managed to make people laugh even through all his suffering!! I know that over the Christmas period I may just suddenly start to cry, but you know what? I'm just going to let it happen, 'let it all hang out!' (used to say that a lot when I was a hippie !!

I do hope you will be able to do the same and find some peace over Christmas,

Take care

GG [:P]

xx

'There are no such things as strangers; just friends we haven't made yet!'

[cazza]

HI MATT
my mum died just before xmas 3 years ago. I know its just awful
but you greive as much and as long as you want please dont hold it in it will be worse. It will get better i promise
take care carol

[matt1981]

Thank you all again for all your responses. people reall do care on here thank you so much.

matt :D

[Piglet]

Matt lovie I am so sorry :(:(:(

(((M)))

Love Piglet xx

[Lynnann]

Hi Matt,

I am so sorry for your loss, it does not matter that you didn't think you were that close to your nan. It is always a shock to lose a loved one especially this close to christmas. My brother died just before Christmas may years ago, which made it very difficult for me.

As you are obviously a sensitive person, it will be hard on you. Your family are all grieving in their own way and I am sure that you will find your own way of dealing with this.

Wishing you and your family strength at this difficult time.

Hugs to you

Lynnann

[pips]

I'm so sorry to hear that Matt,

My thoughts are with you.

Take it easy.

Take Care. Love Pip's X

Pippa.