Scaring myself .. please someone help!

[Fj2014]

I’m terrifying myself – I cannot stop thinking about going to a&e and begging for an xray on the lump on my hip.
I know my boyfriend won’t let me go and last night I even nearly sneaked there late-on but stopped myself at the door.

I’m just so so scared it’s bone cancer and I’m going to die unless I get diagnosed.
My mind is absolutely racing despite me taking herbal pills and trying to take my mind off it.

I have an appointment with my GP next week and I’m going to ask about CBT and my hip then but I can’t take six more days of worrying let alone the six weeks it could take to get a referral for an xray.

Please someone talk me down.
xx

[Frankie123]

I don't know if financially you are in a position to do so but you can go privately for an ultrasound and the cost is about £60.00. I did this when I wanted to have my ovaries checked and didn't want to wait for an NHS appointment. You don't need a GPs referral you can just book it.

[Dolphin8808]

I am so sorry and I know how the fear can consume you totally.

A little bit about bone cancer (and I am not a doctor but when I was having hip pain I was sure that was what I had).... Bone cancer tends to eat away at the bone, meaning the bone becomes brittle and can fracture very easy. As a matter of fact, most people do not realize they even have bone cancer until the break something and it is found on the xray. It is not something that shows typically as a lump on your bone. What it sounds to me, it that you have a bone spur. I have them on my spine, they are not uncommon and they are totally harmless.

Try to breathe. What you are describing sounds nothing like bone cancer. But I can tell you that I Have been where you are. So consumed with the irrational thoughts that NOTHING brings me down. If you need to go to the A&E to get peace of mind, DO IT. I am not trying to encourage you to feed into the health anxiety, I am simply trying to help you find peace of mind. You are stressing yourself out so much, and that is NOT good for your heart or body.

Thinking of you xoxo You are going to be just fine.

[Fishmanpa]

Even in the one in a million+ chance it's sinister. a few weeks won't make a difference. I was diagnosed with Stage IV head and neck cancer November of 2012. I didn't have surgery until February of 2013 and actual treatment didn't start until mid March 2013. I'm still clean after 15 months.

You've had two medical professionals tell you it's nothing. I don't know what else to say TBH as it's apparent your HA has got a strangle hold on you at the moment. :(

Hope you feel better soon.

Positive thoughts

[swgrl09]

I honestly cannot recommend the CBT4Panic chapter on obsessive thoughts enough. Because I don't have Panic Disorder, not all of the program has applied to me. But that chapter has really helped me understand the anxious thoughts about health problems and how they are just that, thoughts. You should check it out and read it in the meantime. Can't hurt, right?

[nomorepanic]

A&E won't necessarily give you an x-ray just because you turn up there.

They will read your notes from the GP and realise you have already been told it is nothing to worry about.

[Fj2014]

Thank you so much for your replies everyone - I do appreciate th support so much.
Dolphin- thank you for your reassuring post, it really did calm me down.
And Fishmanpa - thnk you, for someone who has had cancer thse posts must be so hard for you to read and I really do appreciate your honesty.

I am feeling a lot calmer now and going to read the chapter on obsessive thoughts that swl suggested.

thanks again xxx

[swgrl09]

I'm glad you are feeling calmer :) I have started keeping it open all the time on my computer so if I get caught up in my thoughts, I have no excuse not to practice the techniques lol

[Fj2014]

Good idea!!!
Thank you so much everyone from saving me from hours in A&E feeling pathetic and silly.
I'm going to discuss my worries with my GP next week like the NHS recommends and not put myself through any embarrassment and unnecessary stress in the hospital.

xxx

[Dolphin8808]

Good for you!!! This is awesome that you were able to bring yourself off the brink. I know it can be so hard to do but you rocked it! Great job :)

[Fj2014]

Thanks so much Dani :)!! Really appreciate all the support!