Is it normal to feel this depressed and weird so long after a severe panic attack?

[GingerFish]

I recently got a hold of my panic disorder and agoraphobia through forcing myself to get through it e.g I forced myself to be in situations that would make me panic like be on public transport etc. And I was about 99% cured. I still had some odd panics here and there but got through them no problem.

Anyhoo, I got over the worst of PD about 4 months ago and 9 days ago I was shopping at Asda with my partner and boom! Out of absolutely nowhere a severe panic attack hit me. My vision went black, the room started spinning and closing it, I fell against the metal shelves.It was horrible. Definitely in the top 3 of worse attacks I have ever had. I usually feel drained and shaky a while after an attack but this one was different. I've never experienced exhaustion after an attack like that. I can't describe how much it drained me, I felt like I had been battered by a boxer. I thought when I got home I would feel better but I didn't. 9 days on from that and I still feel as drained no matter how much I sleep, eat, exercise, relax etc. I've also been feeling weird ever since it happened. I don't think I have depression but I have been feeling severely depressed if that makes sense? I'm feeling extremely down, have no motivation, crying at the drop of a hat, loss of interest in hobbies and things I usually do for fun and relaxing.I've felt like this for maybe a day or 2 after a bad attack but never this long. I feel like I am going back the way on all the progress I made.

I feel like the way I felt when I first started to get over my attacks and its annoying me because I feel like all the progress I made has went out the window and I don't have the energy to go through all of that again,it was hard work but then again, I don't want to go back to being housebound.

[Zodiac]

I am sorry to hear this has happened to you, but please don't forget how far you have come. I also suffer with panic disorder and hate those panic attacks that come out of nowhere. I just want to scream. It sounds like this one has really knocked you for six, but the worst thing you can do is let it win. Is it perhaps the fear that what you thought you had conquered is tiring you out? You have got over this before and you can do it again. The worst thing you can do is let it debilitate you. Try small steps, a brisk walk outside perhaps. See if that helps?

Remember that this is an ongoing battle and we need to be strong each time an attack comes our way. We mustn't feel weak. Try visualising your panic attack as a tiny little green bogey that you flick away masterfully. Cry if that helps release some tension, don't bottle it up, but tell yourself that YOU are in control of your body and you are strong. I know it's easy for me to say, but it is true.

If you are still not feeling well in a few days perhaps get yourself checked by your GP, but sounds to me like this attack has perhaps knocked you for six. Get well soon x

[purrdy]

Very sorry to hear this too. I'm going through the same thing as you right now, its frustrating isnt it because you feel like you are back to square one trying to work out how to overcome it once more.

I think you have to keep telling yourself you overcame it once you can do it again.

[GingerFish]

Thanks for your replies guys. I'm still feeling as drained as I have been since the attack but last night I went for a long walk with my mum and partner and I was panicky at first but after 10/15 mins I enjoyed myself and didn't want to go back home! I'm also just back from a 20 min walk from around my block. I went alone for that. I panicked like hell a good few times but I just kept walking faster to get rid of the adrenaline build up.

Now that I am back home, I feel drained and tired again but I feel all pumped up when I'm outside and walking, its just the motivation needed to get up that is the worst. My partner keeps telling me I'm not going back the way because the old me wouldn't have even attempted to take the bins out herself, let alone go for a walk around the block. I do feel slightly better than I have for the last few days but nowhere near how I was before that attack in Asda. I'm going out for another walk tonight with my mum over at her house so I'm hoping that helps too. If I keep going for walks every day, surely that will build up my confidence again?

Zodiac, you right, that attack did knock me for 6. I thought other attacks had done in the past but tbh, those were pleasant compared to that one. I've not been sleeping too well either. Most nights I get about maybe 5/6 hrs and it takes me ages to drift off. I feel weird and detatched while trying to sleep, its hard to explain so I have to put my headphones in and listen to a tv show on my phone or relaxing sounds to help me finally drift. I always get like this when I'm in a highly anxious or down phase.

[Oosh]

Maybe it's the doubt it's created in you that's meant you're so far unable to shake off the after effects.

Seems you're left wondering if all your progress is lost. Doubts like these are what may keep you feeling in a mild state of panic. And that's going to be draining. There's nothing like having a great big fear on your shoulder like that to drain you.

Think of how strong you'll feel once you've regained perspective and bounced back from this asda event. Even when it gives it everything it's got out of the blue, you still get right back on your feet and carry on. You're not scared of it. It's just spiralling anxiety that you're very much on the road to dampening and dismissing as soon as it appears.

You've not undone any progress. Your success is all experience that's been logged in your memory. It's now stuff you know. You don't just lose that experience. You're exactly where you were on your pathway to recovery.

Did something trigger it ?
Did you THINK of a PA ?
Did you worry you were going to have one ?
Did you feel a sensation and wonder if it was one ?

It's been a long time since I've had one now. But I still feel the triggers. It's only a suggestion or a sensation away. But you control your reaction to that.
"Is it ?"
"No, no it's not!"

It would only BE one if I explored it, doubted myself, feared escalation and BROUGHT one on ! But I'm not going to do that. I will take a different route.
I'll go from "is it ?" to a different subject, "get back on track to the types of thoughts and feelings I was experiencing before this. The doubt, fear, suggestion appeared and now it's left. IM in control. It's dampened. It's gone."

It only spirals if I believe I have no control over it spiralling.
I am in control of its appearance and what happens when it appears.

I can only speak from my own experience. I don't know if physiologically there's a reason for your panic but mentally, that's roughly how I've dealt with them.

I just believe I'm capable of dampening it now and calming myself down.

[GingerFish]

Well today I went in the car over to my mum's, went out for a walk with her and then went to my gran's. I was fine during the walk but a bit panicky in the car and while at my gran's but at least I got out the house and went. I'm hoping to go into town tomorrow and see how that goes with my mum. I may not be fully all the way back at square one but a lot of confidence has been lost so I need to build that back up. I do feel like I am slowly coming back around again though. I'll be doing something every day, even if its just a walk around my block again. Its so easy to slip back when you are at this stage so even just going outside and getting some fresh air is a step in the right direction. To answer your questions Oosh about the Asda attack - 1. I think I know what may have triggered it. We were in the bleach/washing up powder/cleaning products ailse and the smells were really strong and I felt a bit sick and choked up. I think my brain just went into over drive after feeling that like. 2. No I didn't think of a panic attack until I started to get that loss of control feeling. 3. Up until that feeling came on me, I thought I would just feel a little sick and be ok as soon as we went into another ailse but a full blown attack came on before I got out of that ailse. 4. All I felt was sick and choked up because of the smells and before I could tell myself anything different, boom, a full on panic was there.

[GingerFish]

Yesterday I forced myself to walk through town with my partner and it was around 6pm so the shops were shut but there was still a lot people on the street and I panicked literally step of the way. I never paused or turned around and went home but I was so angry at myself for panicking because before this whole Asda attack blip, I had finally got around to loving town and feeling comfortable in it! I'm so angry at myself. My partner said I should be proud that I walked thru down yesterday and it doesn't matter that I panicked, the main thing is I done it but I'm finding it so hard to look on the bright side. I'm so just angry, frustrated, worried and tired.