Long-Time GAD

[TheWagon]

I've been a long-time sufferer of generalized anxiety. It began when I was about 16 or 17, when I was in high school, which also coincided with my parents divorce, and I never really talked to anyone about it. Mostly, I just internalized everything, and learned to cope as best I could. For many years, I had a kind of OCD about my breathing, always fixated on how I could never have a full day without concentrating on my breathing in one form or another. I still focus on my breathing, now in my mid-20s, and still have sensations of tightness in my chest, however, since I've lived like this for so many years, I've just learned to adapt to it as best I can.

Lately, my symptoms have been more pronounced. I've had difficulty sleeping for the past 6 months or so, which means I haven't been able to get into a full 8-10 hour sleep without disruption. I've also had some muscle twitching and feelings of tightness/"jello"/restlessness in my legs.

I've been happy to have found this wonderful website, as it has made me realize that there are hundreds and thousands of other people, such as myself, who battle with anxiety on an on-going basis. For a long time I've been too scared to open up to others about my anxiety. Perhaps because I live a fairly normal life (play sports, hold a university degree, work etc) I've been reluctant to share my difficulties with others. I should say, though, when I first noticed my shallow breathing, it of course worried me, and I saw a therapist, maybe 4 or 5 times, but I never continued. In hindsight, I think this was due to the fact that I was too scared and young in my teens to admit, even to a specialist, that I was struggling with what I now know were GAD symptoms. As many of you can certainly relate, it's a rather isolated feeling especially as an adolescent and young adult to realize that you're suffering from abnormal physical symptoms, when everyone around you (or so it seems), from friends and family, appear perfectly fine and worry free.

It seems that most people on this forum have bouts of anxiety or have just recently been struggling with it over the past few months. I'm wondering, though, if anyone else has been struggling with long-term anxiety, particularly chest tightness and breathing fixations, for several years without receiving any kind of professional help? I'm also interested to hear from those who did seek help, and the kinds of remedies that you preformed.

Hopefully this can be a thread where long-time sufferers of GAD can share their experiences and coping methods, and maybe, just maybe, even share a few success stories!

All the best.

[rossthekid]

Hi and welcome,
Yes I have had long time GAD for 13 years. What I have learned and if can advise you would be to say hey you are definitely not alone my friend. I am sorry about your parents and this maybe the cause of your initial anxiety. They way I describe it would be to state that your anxiety cup filled over with this experience. What tends to happen, in my opinion, is that your initial anxiety caused all these weird physical and mental feelings of which you really tune into. You become anxious about your anxious feelings. ie my breaths shallow, oh god my chest is tight etc. You put yourself into a cycle of anxiety, anxious about being anxious. This is what causes long term GAD. Believe me I know I have been there. Your brain has been exhausted by these constant thoughts, you worry about worrying, to the point it almost becomes autonomic, just like breathing. In fact you get to a stage where you feel you are anxious but have nothing to become anxious about.
What I will say is there is a few things you can do to start to begin to turn things around. Understand it. Your physical and mental symptoms are due to 2 things. 1 Mental exhaustion from over analysing everything. 2 The over production of adrenaline, a normal response to fear and worry. Nobody has ever died due to this, this is all normal, you are normal. So you must understand anxiety, why it happens read about it, take the fear away.
You must also change they way you think about everything, break the cycle. It is not easy, it take a lot of time. When you were younger you didn't ride a bike straight away, or drive a car. You had to practise to change your habits to get to a stage where you can do these things automatically. Live with the anxiety, don't fear it, allow it in. Live your life as normal, don't let it dictate to you. I am trying and its hard but it has already helped me work and I feel I can see light at the end of the tunnel.

[neowallace]

Hi Mate

I had a similar experience to yourself around my late teens I started to have anxiety symptoms. I used to obsess that I would stop breathing more so after heavy drink sessions. I was told by G.P people just don't stop breathing unless the body died....phew....I am 40 now I self medicated with by best pal for around 10 years ...Alcohol....I am now 8 years sober which is great but now I have to face my GAD without Alcohol. Last 2 years have been really difficult but I keep hoping that I will learn to manage it rather than expecting it to disappear. I wish you all the best my friend choose healthy coping skills. The best one I know of is jogging/running or any exercise.

Best Wishes
Steven