View Full Version : Constantly worried about my heart
It's been 8 years now and most of my worries are centered on my heart. I'm constantly fearing atrial fibrillation or dangerous arrhythmias such as ventricular tachycardia, ventricular fibrillation and heart arrest. These thoughts haunt me since my first panic attack in the summer of 2006, before a college exam. How do you deal with this? I'm so tired of living in permanent fear. Having tests done that come back fine doesn't seem to be helping. I have always this suspicion that something might be missing to the doctors, especially because I never had an ECG done during the peak symptoms of my panic attacks (when I'm finally seen in the ER the peak symptoms are are gone) and whenever I have an holter done the symptoms, when present, are very mild. Furthermore, I've read lots of stories of people who have atrial fibrillation and have been misdiagnosed.
How do you manage to live with this fear? No doctor is able to tell me... They just tell me to see a psychiatrist and psychologist. But the thing is that I've already seen both in the past and it didn't work. The antidepressants usually work for a while, but after some time on a given drug I feel like it's all coming back and in the end I'm in a vicious circle of drug switching. As to psychologists, they didn't help much, they just propose me to do things that I am not able to do at the moment. My only escape are the anxiolytics, it seems.
Aaahhfreakout
25-08-14, 14:27
If something wasn't captured on a monitor, then you need a portable event monitor which you can carry around for several weeks and use when you have your symptoms.
You should say to your doctor that actually capturing the heartbeat during the symptoms is would be extremely helpful to your anxiety problem, since part of the anxiety is not knowing for certain what it is.
If something wasn't captured on a monitor, then you need a portable event monitor which you can carry around for several weeks and use when you have your symptoms.
You should say to your doctor that actually capturing the heartbeat during the symptoms is would be extremely helpful to your anxiety problem, since part of the anxiety is not knowing for certain what it is.
Thank you for your reply. I will tell him that in our next appointment. The thing is, those very extreme heart symptoms that I talked about above ("peak" symptoms) rarely occur (thankfully!). I feel the heart beating faster and much harder than normal, in a seemingly chaotic manner, and it's like it is out of place or wanting to jump out of my chest. At the same time I feel dizzy, like I'm going to faint, nauseated and I need to sit or lie down because it is so uncomfortable and scary that I feel that if I keep standing I will pass out. This may last up to 20 minutes. The last time I experienced them was in late June/early July and before that I can only remember having them that strong in February 2013. In both cases I rushed to the ER and had ECGs done that came back normal, but then again, the "odd" heartbeat was already gone at the time, but I was still feeling my chest tightned and my heart beating faster than normal though. But yes, not knowing exactly what kind of heartbeat that is when I experience those extreme symptoms has been a source of anxiety thus far.
PS - The cardiologist I use to see is private (I would have to wait long for an appointment with a cardiologist affiliated to the public insurance scheme because my situation is not considered urgent by my GP). Besides, my GP won't ever refer me for a cardiac event monitor unless I happen to pass out or worse. He thinks that the tests I had done are more than enough to reassure me (well, it seems they are not for the reasons stated in the previous posts). So the only way I could have a cardiac event monitor done would be by paying out of my own pocket. I would like to have it done but the problem is that it's quite expensive and I've been spending so much on doctors lately. I will ask my cardiologist whether he thinks that having this cardiac event monitor done is worth the investment in light of my heart tests results (which according to my GP are ok).
You had a 24hr holter done last month as well as a stress test. They found nothing that would indicate anything sinister. Why would you need an event monitor?
Positive thoughts
You had a 24hr holter done last month as well as a stress test. They found nothing that would indicate anything sinister. Why would you need an event monitor?
Positive thoughts
I'd like to know exactly what type of heartbeat I'm having when I'm experiencing the "peak" symptoms (described above) of a full-blown panic attack. But these full-blown panic attacks don't happen often, I can go months without having a full-blown one, the ones that make me rush to hospital afraid that something worse and life-threatening is going on. Anyway, I'd need "luck" to catch one of those in a time-span of 20 days or 1 month of cardiac event monitoring. Now, it happens that I've read some stories of AFib patients that have had their condition misdiagnosed as anxiety or panic disorder and since then I've been feeling scared. Maybe what I need is just to put this out of my mind, trust the doctors and medical tests 100% and go on. But every once in a while my mind gets totally captured by these thoughts and the fact that I never had an ECG done exactly during the peak of a full-blown panic attack, when I'm absolutely symptomatic.
So, after 8 years and dozens of tests, you're still convinced it's your heart?
8 years is an awfully long time to be held captive.
Good luck and positive thoughts
Aaahhfreakout
26-08-14, 13:45
You might want to look into recording the sound of your own heartbeat. It's possible to do that at home for very little or no money and there are guides on the internet.
The irregular irregularity of a fast atrial fibrillation will be easily heard, as will ectopics. If you did record your heart as being fast and highly irregular, no doctor can argue it doesn't need to be further recorded and studied.
So I suggest you try and record the sound. :)
So, after 8 years and dozens of tests, you're still convinced it's your heart?
8 years is an awfully long time to be held captive.
Good luck and positive thoughts
I'm not sure. I felt so bad during the stress test and yet the report says everything's fine - no arrhythmias, no ischemia, not a thing. It doesn't seem to fit the symptoms I experienced while running on the treadmill and during recovery. Then I look at the stress ECG tracing and I see some weird-shaped waves near the end of it to the point that I wonder how come can that be considered normal. Maybe it's just noise. I'm going to ask the cardiologist what in hell are those waves and why do they have such a weird shape. By the way, right choice of words, because "captive" is exactly how I've been feeling throughout these years.
You might want to look into recording the sound of your own heartbeat. It's possible to do that at home for very little or no money and there are guides on the internet.
The irregular irregularity of a fast atrial fibrillation will be easily heard, as will ectopics. If you did record your heart as being fast and highly irregular, no doctor can argue it doesn't need to be further recorded and studied.
So I suggest you try and record the sound. :)
I had no idea! Thank you. Do you know of any specific website where I can find it explained for dummies? I'll try to record them if I happen to feel those awful symptoms again.
Aaahhfreakout
26-08-14, 15:49
If you have a microphone, just try pressing it to your chest and recording it with the free software Audacity. Then amplify the sound using the software. That may be enough.
If you have a microphone, just try pressing it to your chest and recording it with the free software Audacity. Then amplify the sound using the software. That may be enough.
My laptop has a built in microphone. I've read that headphones might also work but so far I wasn't able to record my heartbeat. I'll keep on trying and in case I don't get anywhere I'll buy a microphone. Thanks for the info.
You might want to look into recording the sound of your own heartbeat. It's possible to do that at home for very little or no money and there are guides on the internet.
The irregular irregularity of a fast atrial fibrillation will be easily heard, as will ectopics. If you did record your heart as being fast and highly irregular, no doctor can argue it doesn't need to be further recorded and studied.
So I suggest you try and record the sound. :)
I must absolutely disagree as this only feeds the dragon. An amateur recording done with Audacity is just... audacious!
The symptoms are from ANXIETY, not from a heart problem! 8 years of tests have shown NOTHING! I'll bet my heart on it and I have real heart problems!
Good luck and positive thoughts
Aaahhfreakout
26-08-14, 22:58
I must absolutely disagree as this only feeds the dragon. An amateur recording done with Audacity is just... audacious!
The symptoms are from ANXIETY, not from a heart problem! 8 years of tests have shown NOTHING! I'll bet my heart on it and I have real heart problems!
A recording might well help slay a dragon, whatever the real cause is.
And no one can say it's only anxiety without a recording.
A recording might well help slay a dragon, whatever the real cause is. And no one can say it's only anxiety without a recording.
I'm a musician and very experienced in recording and the recording process. You would have to have an extremely sensitive microphone retrofitted with a stethoscope type device to even come close to recording the heart in detail and even then, how are you going to record enough material without extraneous background noise to effectively prove something that for eight years hasn't been detected by echos, EKGs, stress tests, x-rays etc.? Not to mention that a medical professional would practically laugh you out of the office!
With all due respect. Eight years of clean reports and the fact that this is being discussed on an anxiety website is more than proof enough that it's anxiety related IMO.
Positive thoughts
Well, during these years I've been seen by tons of different doctors (GPs, internists, cardiologists, neurologists, psychiatrists) and they all have come to the same conclusion that my symptoms are anxiety/panic related. The tests don't show anything wrong to the extent that it could justify my symptoms. But the facts are that sometimes I really do feel angina. I felt it during the last stages of the last stress test I had done and the report says everything's ok. I wonder whether anxiety can cause transient angina or Prinzmetal angina, but even it can, it would have shown up in the stress test ECG tracing. When I'm experiencing the peak symptoms of a full-blown panic attack I also feel that my heart isn't beating regularly - that's what I feel, it might be in sinus rhythm, but that I am not able to tell for sure because I never had an ECG done during the peak symptoms. As I said before, once in the hospital the seemingly chaotic beating is already gone and the ECGs come back normal with sinus tachycardia. Whenever I call an ambulance I go through a sort of triage and the doctors/nurses I speak to on the emergency line tell me it's anxiety/panic, so it takes a longer wait to be finally assessed by paramedics and taken to hospital. The symptoms feel so real though...
I feel bad for you Junot :( Truly, I can't imagine feeling as you do for such a long period in your life. I know some of what I post gets through as your reply is totally rational and acknowledges the facts. Despite the facts and logic, your mind and anxiety drag you right back down. I wish there were an easy answer.
I have to believe that you want to get out of the hell of constantly believing you're ill. You said you've tried therapy and different meds to no avail. I have to also believe there is a way for you to tame this dragon. The way I see it, it's not much different than what I have to do day after day after day to continue to heal from my physical maladies. Truth is, I'll never be the same but I'll sure as hell make what I do have the best it can be. There are exercises I must do so I'll be able to swallow. If I don't I will lose the ability to do so. There are exercises I must do to maintain mobility in my shoulder and arm. If I don't do them, the mobility will worsen along with the pain. There are mental exercises I do every day to maintain a positive attitude. If I don't, I stand the chance of slipping into depression again. I have to really watch my diet due to heart disease. If I don't, I increase the chances of another heart attack and death. All these things require a real concerted effort. There are times I'm so tired of it all. I didn't ask for my heart problems or cancer just like you didn't ask for anxiety issues.
The way to healing is no different for you than it is for me. It takes a conscious concerted effort. It's hard work! It won't happen overnight. It's one day, one week, one month, one year at a time. Sometimes it's one hour or minute when things get really rough. I know, I've been there. They say a journey starts with a step. I believe it's time you took that step. This is a very supportive group of people who understand and will support and cheer you on. The worst thing that can happen is you take the same step for a while but it's so much better than going around in circles or being stuck going no where.
Positive thoughts
Aaahhfreakout
27-08-14, 11:21
I'm a musician and very experienced in recording and the recording process. You would have to have an extremely sensitive microphone retrofitted with a stethoscope type device to even come close to recording the heart in detail and even then, how are you going to record enough material without extraneous background noise to effectively prove something that for eight years hasn't been detected by echos, EKGs, stress tests, x-rays etc.? Not to mention that a medical professional would practically laugh you out of the office!
With all due respect. Eight years of clean reports and the fact that this is being discussed on an anxiety website is more than proof enough that it's anxiety related IMO.
For Junot, a simple recording that has no more detail than "bump.... bump-bump.... bump...." could prove if the irregularities felt during the unrecorded extreme symptoms are really the heart or not, and if it is, could prove it to a doctor.
Heartbeat recordings are not as difficult as you seem to think, as it's possible to create a DIY stethoscope with various household items. The professional medical item itself actually started out as a simple tube.
Hello Fishmanpa,
Thanks for your supportive message and for sharing your own experience. My mother actually thinks that I should go to a rehabilation center to be permanently accompanied by mental health specialists. Maybe that's it. But I'm afraid to spend a fortune and in the end to come back home the same or that after a while doing good it starts over. I definitely need a change in my life. It happens that my life didn't follow the route I had planned and dreamed of. I guess that's the deep underlying cause of all my anxiety/panic issues. I don't think medicines will ever be able to tackle and annihilate the problem though. They just mask the symptoms of it by acting on the neurotransmitter physiology. That's what antidepressants have done to me. After a few months or a year on one drug, the reality surfaces again, I have another full-blown panic attack, and there we go again... I am switched to a different drug and the vicious circle keeps on turning. I think I took a small step to healing though: I gave up on my addiction (caused by antidepressants) to all the crap there is to eat and I've been exercizing everyday. So far I've lost 34 lbs in 2 months. That's a breakthrough in 8 years of anxiety/panic and I'm sure that will help boosting my self-esteem, which has been down for years now. But in the end, it's my life that I need to change, it's my childhood dreams that I need to fulfill. That, or I'll need to learn how to deal with reality when reality tells us that we can't fulfill all of our dreams and that contrary to popular belief some things are actually IMPOSSIBLE. I'm sorry for the vent, I'm in need of a psychologist it seems. :ohmy:
The thing is Junot, you have to at least try. I had a dream of being a rock star. Guess what?.. I'm not! ~lol~ BUT... I went to school for music, I played and toured with some big names in the industry and I've made a career (albeit not a lucrative one ~lol~) in the music business. I still perform on a part time basis (thank God I'm still able to do so) and I work in the music industry. I love what I do and that's more than half the battle. The worst that can happen is you gave it your best and that's WAY better than sitting there years from now wondering "What If?"... and that "What If?" is far worse than any health related "What If?" there is!
Congrats on tackling your junk food addiction. That alone shows me you possess the inner fortitude to tackle your anxiety issues. IMO, it's WAY harder not to eat that piece of fried chicken or french fries than it is to refrain from Googling ;)
Positive thoughts
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