View Full Version : anxious and stressed
Well as you all know I got into uni a few weeks ago. Well ever since I found out I have been stressing so much. Im so scared because what if I dont make any friends? What if I have any panic attacks or go really anxious and no one is about? What if I not good enough to be a youth worker?
Also, I started packing the other day and I am getting so scared and upset because Im scared to be alone. I keep getting panic attacks and keep getting back pain and not sleeping well lately. Keep going to bed at stupid a clock like 3. Im trying ti be happy and excited but my anciety gets in the way.
Does anyone have any advice on how to calm myself down and relax? Tried music, trying saying what I feel as opposites. I just dont know what to do. Thank you to everyone that has helped me already. I really appreciate it. Your all amazing and here iis a hug is you need it :hugs:
You SHOULD be nervous Sophie. It's normal.
I know it's corny but you just need to "feel the fear and do it anyway".
You will feel a million times better when you're there, your mind is on your study material, you're taking the time to learn it and feel confident and ready and you have made a new friend to enjoy the whole thing with.
The whole thing is going to change your life Sophie.
It's ok to feel scared. It's ok to worry about it.
All you can do is have confidence and focus on the above. You're not going to be alone, you'll have a new friend.
You passed these exams, you are clever enough to learn what you need to at uni.
To be honest Sophie, the sooner it starts and you're dealing with the reality the better. Just stay busy and be as prepared as you can until it starts.
Thank you Oosh. By 'you have a new friend' do you mean you? I am keeping busy been packing today. Been rather stressful. I dont know where i would be without the support of you and others. I just want to leave now though. Get away from dad and family stress. I really hope I dont annoy any of you and i know sometimes i dont say thank you and seen low all the time but it is hard for me. Xxx
http://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xfa1/v/t1.0-9/10400285_7409746426_9160_n.jpg?oh=dc8e75703dc771e5 07476f8e7d58fcb6&oe=547C9636&__gda__=1415856054_e6b50fe244aa9ad1bb31807615e62b2 f
That's a picture of me during my first fresher's week! (I had two at two different universities) - that was a foam party. It was ridiculously fun. Everyone makes friends with everyone. You make your real friends a couple of weeks in - it takes time to get to know enough people to know who are the good ones :)
Just enjoy it :) you'll do your studying too, but first you'll have the time of your life. Uni isn't just about learning about your subject, it's also about learning about independence and friendships :)
Aawww you look lovely hun. Im just going to be so borinv as i dont drink or anything. It is so hard.
The costs of freshers is hard too dont know if i can afford it. It is driving me mad and it is hard.
Im stressed and panicky and chest hurts again. I will be fine though. I have to be no matter what. Dricing me up the wall and im happy to be able to have a new start.
Thank you for everything lior xx
You don't have to drink to have fun :) are you going to get a student loan? If so, you probably will be able to afford it :)
Sunflower2
24-08-14, 22:33
Well I don't drink either and I lived at home and I STILL went out and enjoyed my freshers week. I maybe just remember it more clearly than most.. I still made some good friends from my uni course, honestly everyone is so nervous and worried about being lonely students just talk to anyone and everyone! The waiting is the worst part. You'll look back at this in a few weeks and be glad you persevered!
Oh i hope your right? Yes i di get student loan but cant afford to get my ticket noe for the freshers club lior.
Im hiping people will like me. Just a bit anxious. I am getting a bit excited bit scared at the same time. Make sense?
Excited is very similar to anxiety. It's that same pumping nervous energy - it's just positive rather than negative :)
If you can't afford your ticket, either you can find an alternative free party or you can find a way to get in... maybe slip in through the back? :)
Hahhaa nah wont slip in the back way lol. I might just see what happensm. Thank you for the support though.
God im welling up. I just have so much to sort out firat with me family i just want things the way they was. But that is impossible. :'(
Of course I'm your friend Sophie.
What I meant though was you'll have made friends with others just like you so you won't be going through it alone.
Look for other Sophie's there - other girls just like you. Ie terrified, eager to make some friends so they're not on their own.
Like Kimberley and lior have said, everyone's scared at first and feeling just like you.
Before you go I think you need to work on seeing it that way.
"I'm rubbish. Nobody is going to like me" isn't an attitude that's going to help you there.
Practice thinking " this is going to be brilliant because I'm going somewhere where there are lots of other lads and girls who will be terrified and eager to make friends because they'll be scared of having a lonely uni experience. I'll think of them like that and reach out to them, offer them my friendship and try to make them feel better so that they feel like it's going to be ok now because they have a friend."
"Phew, I have a friend now, I have Sophie. She's nice to me. I don't feel so alone now. She helps me when I'm down or worried and even tries to make me laugh "
Don't worry about yourself Soph. Look outward, think how your new friends might be feeling. It'll come back to you and you'll become a valued friend.
Constantly keep at it and you'll have a life changing experience.
You'll develop new self esteem and confidence as well as making new friends and becoming a youth worker thingy :)
I think people having trouble making friends will probably join groups and activities so they can meet those others who are trying to meet friends. So make sure you join plenty of those too. Get involved.
Wow oosh. That got me thunking alot i hae actually thought of trying to join the dodgeball team. We will see how it goes. Im getting there with the thought process. Just thinking of how to introduce myself? Hhmmm..?
You know though, without you guys i dont know where i would be so thank you billions.
I know the feeling. Things are not sorted with my family at all - I haven't spoken to them properly for 5 weeks now, they're quite worried about me but I can't cope with the situation.
I fell out with a friend and then she moved to India permanently... so that friendship might never be resolved. The time I had to fix it, I wasn't in a fit state to. I don't think I could have done any better... the timing was unfortunate. Maybe we'll be able to fix things once I am in a different place - maybe the same thing will happen to you - when you have some time apart to think, maybe that will help you know what to do next.
Im sorry you havent sorted things out yet hunni. Can you not hust say that you need your own space to think at the moment? I hope you can sort things out hun. I know how it feels when you lose family and cant sort it.
This is like with me because i cant think straight about the whole situation and it is hard. It kweps making me upset. I wanted to sort it all out before I left so it was all soeted out and leave on good terms. We will see how things pan out I guess. Xx
You can leave on good terms and still not have things sorted. With family, it can be so complicated that you can't see what needs to change until you have some space. You do have time to sort things out... there will be second chances.
Sorry I didn't see Page 2 of the posts! Oosh's ideas are great :)
I know bless him. Thank you lior. I will try my best the next few weeks and sort some things out. I might message some of them now. I just feel invisible to them. :(
I hope you have all had a good day.
Hi,
I'd enjoy it, I know what you mean I was too scared to go out and meet people. I didn't gel very much in my first year I actually got on better with the guys I worked with during my placement.
When I returned to uni, I found I had no friends or people to be with. I've never really fitted in anywhere else.
I had until '07 2 people that I was friends with in Manchester I met up with quite a lot.
One used to spend time telling my how thick and stupid I was, tell me that I didn't deserve what I had. The other admitted to me that he took £500 that had been stolen from my bank account by someone else.
Some friends eh
Omg that is awful. Did you ever get your money back? And are yiu still friends now? I would ditch them. You dont need people like that in your life. You need people that you can trust and feel that yiu have support and have someone to lusten to you. I know exactly how you feel.
I have been lied too alot lately and people letting me down left right and center. I just dont need it right now. I got enough on my plate with family and that. It is annoying. I just want to be happy again. Xx
Hi,
Yeah I've ditched them, i'm moving on with my life.
I'm unemployed at the minute, and that's had a drain on my self esteem.
I find myself role playing how things will work out when I go into public places. Sometimes I actually hate going out.
I am glad you got rid. You didnt need friends like that. Did you sort everythijg out?
Tbh, right now im not sure if i deserve to be here. Im just fed up of the lies and the upset. One minute i feel special then i get told im ugly and not beautiful and not atteactive. Sick of it. :(
Who's telling you things like that? Sounds like it's really bothering you, is there any way to avoid or work it out with those people? Going to university is a big changing point in your life, I know things are stressful and chaotic now, but things will sort themselves out, you will meet friends and be happy. Don't dwell too much on all the crap you are getting now, you will meet new people, go to new places and live a new life. :)
Who told you you were ugly Sophie ?
Thank you. It is bothering me yes. And i know i will meet new people new faces. Will be scary at firat but will get easier for me i think. I am excited for uni niw and i cant wait to leave her le now. Get away from everything.
Oosh it doesnt matter who mate. I will sort it. There is slight truth though. I am fine hust got a lot to sort out that is all. I will trying and rise above them. Just gets annoying and upsetting after a while. Thank you all xx
Sunflower2
28-08-14, 13:45
Sophie I went through a time during secondary school where I was called horrible names and there were people that lied to me and pretended to be my friend. But that was a long time ago now and you find people who are just like you and they wouldn't be so horrible. My friends I met at uni I hope to be friends with for year and years to come even though I'm not in their course any more!
Aaawwww that is good kimberly. I hope i get the same. Not great at all today. Someone message me please as dont want to annoy on here :(
Don't think that sending public messages will be annoying. Has anyone ever told you that? If they have, they should just not read them. They don't have to participate.
I've made friends at uni who get me on a different level to school friends.
The person who called you ugly is just secretly terrified that they are ugly. I got called ugly at school by a boy who was very awkward. He was just trying to bring me down so that he felt better. He must have felt so bad about himself to have to bring me down like that - it's not a nice thing to say. It did hurt my confidence for a while but I realised that some people will think I'm pretty, some people will think I'm ugly - and I'll only date people who think I'm beautiful :) and you shouldn't settle for anything less either! xx
I have hust put up with it for too long nowm 8 years to be honest. :( just cant take it anymore. :'( i feel like im losing. :'(
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