Someone,anyone..please help.

[am_f]

I'm writing this while trying to hold my tears from falling on my keyboard.
Back in March I developed a weird sensation in my trachea. I felt like I'm bound to suffocate and that my thyroid cartridges were popped out. I couldn't swallow,I couldn't sleep,I lost weight,my heart rate and blood pressure were super duper high. I wrote all my symptoms down on a diary. I went to the ER 4 times,they took blood tests,thyroid scan and I did a barium swallow,my nose was checked..no deviated septum or polyps.. all to which resulted normal. I couldn't do my final and most important exams because of this,I couldn't even go to the supermarket because I would feel like I'm going to stop breathing.

Around July this feeling eased and I praised the lord it was over..turns out it's not. I've been having a weird feeling right were my adenoids are placed(despite having them removed 10 years ago),I can't breathe well from my nose nor mouth,my neck lymph nodes are ALL swollen,I have fever,sleep apnea,I feel the need to touch my uvula to check if my trachea is closing or not,I breathe on my hand to see if my breathe subsided or not,constant headache in different areas and I gained weight due to being depressed and eating sweets all the time and not moving around. I can't take a full breathe,it hurts. I can't concentrate and i'm tired of doing nothing at home and being told I'm wasting my life away.

I'm only 18,I have no friends at all. I have no social life whatsoever,when I tried I was discarded. I feel too depressed to even sleep,I see a therapist,I am on 7.5 mg of valium and nothing seems to ease things. I feel horrible and I have this VERY VERY BAD FEELING OF DEATH. I FEEL LIKE I'M GOING TO DIE SINCE NO DOCTOR EVER GAVE ME AN ANSWER,I SEARCH ONLINE EVERY SECOND I CAN,I FEEL LIKE MY TRACHEA WILL COLLAPSE OR THAT I WILL DIE IN MY SLEEP,I DO NOT BELIEVE THIS IS MY HORRIBLE ANXIETY..I JUST FEEL IT..DEATH IS CHASING ME AND IT WILL FIND ME VERY VERY SOON..i'm in touch with my sixth sense.

I don't know why I posted this here,I just feel so miserable and I'm tired of my family worrying and not being able to understand me.

:weep::weep::weep::weep::weep:

[Catherine S]

There are so many posts just like yours here from so many young people that you are certainly not alone. Try and read some of them, it may help you to cope with your own feelings of anxiety.

ISB x

[dulciepoo]

Hey. I have really bad anxiety, i'm a 21 year old female. Anxiety can do crazy things to you. My little brother also suffers from anxiety attacks where he feels like he can't breathe and his throat is closing, he has even called an ambulance. As for my symptoms, I have also had a hard time walking into a grocery store, driving. I have dizzy spells where my vision gets blurry. I couldn't leave my house for months, I lost a lot of my friends and felt so alone. I need to tell you it gets better.

It sounds to me like you have health anxiety. You should read about it, as it's not a rare condition and MANY people have recovered from it. Have you tried an SSRI? Prozac is supposed to work very well for health anxiety. If your doctor won't listen, find a new one! I have had doctors that are total A-holes. That's their problem, not yours. Find a new doctor and ask about SSRI or SNRIs. The first two weeks of a medication will be difficult, but if youc an push through that, you can push through everything and see a light.

You also need to work on the mental aspect of it, that has helped me a lot. When you feel like you can't breathe, think to yourself "okay, I have thought I was going to stop breathing 72938472 times and I never have stopped breathing. All of that worrying was useless." or "i've been to the doctor, there is nothing wrong with me, so I know that this is anxiety. Now my issue is to heal my anxiety" which luckily for you, is the most treatable form of mental illness. There is hope. You need to go out there and find it. And think positive about EVERYTHING no matter how unrealistic it sounds.