Bear&bug
25-08-14, 22:24
I'm struggling so badly to accept that what I feel & feels terrifying to me, can feel so harmless to others. I hate not trusting my own perspective. How to believe they're right & I'm wrong, & to ignore my instincts?
For 6 months I've gone from breast cancer to lymphoma to leukemia to heart issues to breast cancer again. I've visited the GP surgery many times & exhausted my partner for reassurance. I obsessively check for lumps & am suffering from depression after so many months of terror & dread. I DO accept I have severe health anxiety & have just started therapy, as well as scheduling a GP appointment to talk about anti-anxiety meds (not an easy decision as I'm pregnant & have a 2 year old to care for)
My trouble at the moment is my breasts. They feel very changed & lumpy/ropy to me, my left much worse. Most likely due to pregnancy but that's my rational side talking. I've had a breast exam done by my GP & all fine, no concerns. I'm scared she missed something (which I know is textbook HA). How can she have not acknowledged what I feel at all? My partner has felt thoroughly & insists to me it's nowhere near as bad as I think & so clearly not anything harmful, just a bit different. I want so much to believe them. I want my life back.
For 6 months I've gone from breast cancer to lymphoma to leukemia to heart issues to breast cancer again. I've visited the GP surgery many times & exhausted my partner for reassurance. I obsessively check for lumps & am suffering from depression after so many months of terror & dread. I DO accept I have severe health anxiety & have just started therapy, as well as scheduling a GP appointment to talk about anti-anxiety meds (not an easy decision as I'm pregnant & have a 2 year old to care for)
My trouble at the moment is my breasts. They feel very changed & lumpy/ropy to me, my left much worse. Most likely due to pregnancy but that's my rational side talking. I've had a breast exam done by my GP & all fine, no concerns. I'm scared she missed something (which I know is textbook HA). How can she have not acknowledged what I feel at all? My partner has felt thoroughly & insists to me it's nowhere near as bad as I think & so clearly not anything harmful, just a bit different. I want so much to believe them. I want my life back.