Anxiety and relationships (update)

[Charlotteee89]

Heeeey guys!

I haven't been on here in a little while, but my anxiety has been very on & off. Most of my anxiety has been relationship related, my anxiety disorder causes quite normal relationship anxiety to be a lot worse!

Things are going well with my boyfriend, we've been together for a month now! :D But next week I'll be meeting his family for the first time (I'm sleeping over) and I'm SOOOO nervous! :scared15: Most of my anxiety is over my weight - I'm so insecure about how slim I am & I'm getting all sorts of anxiety over how they're going to perceive me, are they not going to like me because of it? Are they going to be concerned about my weight? And even ask my boyfriend about it? I'd be mortified if that happened! :scared15: It's my arms that I hate the most, so long and skinny! I always cover them up, even in front of my boyfriend.

I'm even planning what to wear that makes me look less slim, how silly! I must be THAT worried about it. :wacko:

I keep having little confident thoughts like "You know what? I don't care what they think, I know I'm slim but hey ho! It's just me!" I suppose I need to keep having these thoughts. I need to feel confident in myself I suppose - self confidence.

Any advice on how to deal with severe insecurities and anxiety?

:)

[Oosh]

Hiya Charlotte

Glad it's all going well with your new bf :)

I think if you're quite thin, yes they'll notice. I'm sure they will be being far to polite to say a word though and will just be too busy being nice to you and, as your boyfriends parents, hoping YOU like and get on well with them.

When they're on their own they may well mention it to one another but let's face it, they'd also chat about you if you were
Overweight
Had a big nose
Had green hair
Had odd clothes on
Etc etc

We all come in different shapes and sizes and colours.
As long as their son likes you they will be happy.

Show them what a nice personality you have and you could have a leprechaun outfit on and they'll still love you to bits.

It's really all that matters. Show them what a nice girl you are. That will make them so much more relieved that their son didn't bring a girl home with an attitude who appears not to like them.

After you've gone they'll be saying " awwwww she's LOVELY !"

[Sunflower2]

Really pleased it's working out for you!

I agree with oosh, everyone is different and I'm sure they'd be far too polite to say anything even if they thought that! I am extremely slim (even more at the moment) and the only people that have ever said anything just say it as a passing comment - oh you need fattening up etc. Annoying, but just what happens. You shouldn't feel self conscious of the shape you are, a lot of people would love to be slim but their build just isn't made to be like that. My boyfriends parents have never said anything like that at all to me though, even when I've barely eaten meals or food in front of them. Plus I was super quiet for years and they always said I was lovely, I just didn't say much! Now that I'm older and more confident it surprised them how much I did talk to them last time I saw them haha. You'll be fine don't worry cause I'm sure they'll love you! :)

[Charlotteee89]

I think sometimes I forget that I'm quite slim (maybe, I'm more so just feeling confident in myself) so when people make a comment I instantly feel deflated and insecure.

I suppose in hindsight I should just try and get over my fear of what other people think of me and my weight, I don't want fears to stop me from doing things and enjoying life. But when the anxiety kicks in BAM it's so hard to not pay attention to your fears and insecurities.

He told me his mum has suggested to him maybe us doing something more casual like going to the pub etc on a different day before I sleep over if I'm feeling nervous (not sure how I feel about him telling his mum that I am anyway :blush:) so I'm not sure what to do. She wants me to feel 'relaxed and comfortable' - how sweet! It's not until the end of next week so I've got some time to figure it out! I'm not sure whether I'd feel too awkward meeting them and then sleeping round all in the same night.

But yeah, I know they'll be more interested in me than how I look, they all have Facebook so for all I know they've had a good nosey haha!

I just need to calm down. :)

[Oosh]

Have a think about it and do what you feel comfortable with. They sound really nice :)

[Charlotteee89]

TOMORROW IS THE DAY! I'm pretty nervous! :scared15:

I'm not as nervous as I was but I'm still over-thinking random stuff like "Ooo, I'm wearing my fave boots which can be awkward to get off, what if I'm like standing there looking awkward trying to take them off casually?" "Does his front door open into his living room? That might be awkward if his family are like just sitting there..." "What do I say to his mum? Do I ask her questions? Or just answer hers?" "Am I going to be able to sleep in someone else's bed?" Silly things like that. :doh:

I hate feeling anxious, I get terrible anticipatory anxiety where as soon as I get anxious I get scared thinking I'm going to have a panic attack... Which ofcourse, makes the anxiety worse to the point where I could actually bring on a panic attack by the fear of having one. :doh:

Also, he met my father's side of the family tonight (Wed night) as I dragged him to my Grandad's birthday party... So I feel bad as I know I would be absolutely terrified if that was me! I probably wouldn't go! He did say he was nervous though, all my family love him also. :)

[Charlotteee89]

I survived! :blush::D

By the time my boyfriend picked me up I was actually pretty chill... Sometimes when I get anxious I go really tense and just block everything out, which is what seemed to of happened. I'd rather that than get all panicky.

His family weren't what I was expecting, they were really down to earth and very normal! His mum was very bubbly, very normal (she reminded me of my mum, pretty much, what you see is what you get) and easy-going, and you can tell they're all very close. I was a bit quiet but hopefully the more I meet them the more open and relaxed I'll be.

So that's that over with, I think my anxiety will calm down now. :D

[Oosh]

Nice one Charlotte. That's great news. I'm really happy for you :yesyes:

[Charlotteee89]

Well.... We have just broken up. :weep:

He's been a mess for the last 2 days as he's been thinking for about a week that he's just not ready for a relationship, but doesn't know why, but it's nothing to do with me. :weep: Typical, I get involved with a younger guy and this is what happens! I think he was just getting overwhelmed with the stress and pressure of having a girlfriend, he says he's still really nervous with me even though I haven't noticed for weeks. I think it's all just a bit too much too young and when I said that he didn't disagree. But we're gonna stay friends and still talk, hang out etc. He looked so upset when we spoke I just wanted to cry for him. He was so upset over the thought of hurting me, also. I always think of worse case scenarios in my head and they always seem to turn out that way! It's like I'm jinxing myself ugh!

We had a bit of a 'tiff' on Tuesday night, I was stressed as we hadn't talked since that last Sunday and I had a go at him but it came out all wrong and like I was being a clingy, pesty girlfriend. He didn't respond/reply to the last thing I said to him as he said he just didn't know what to say and he was confused as I seemed really angry with him so he thought he'd give me space (also thinking I was going to break up with him). We talked about this and I apologized saying that I was just stressed and took it out on him, he also mentioned that even though I had a whole week off work last week we didn't see much of each other and wondered why this was, thinking I was going off him or not bothered about him anymore so I told him that was definitely not the case and that we need to sort that out, I thought this was what the problem was but clearly not... I can't remember exactly what he said now but he said he's been thinking a lot the last few days and that he's realized he's just not ready for a relationship... At that point I was gutted. Felt like I had been punched in the stomach, and that's when I said "Oh, so that's the problem, you're not ready for a relationship?" and that's when he went into it more and said that he'd spoke to his mum and she said that you just know when you're ready for a relationship (very true). He clearly expected me to be really angry and upset but said he would've been gutted and broken if we ended really badly, as in, never talking ever again. So basically, we're giving friends a go, hopefully things won't get too 'blurred' but he said he's gonna take a few days to be himself, as he's so upset and a mess but he's gonna text me tomorrow. Ugh.

Right guy, wrong timing perhaps? :weep:

He's such a lovely guy though, so I'm happy he's gonna still be in my life, I can't be angry at him for this, at least he told me now rather than weeks down the line when we would've got more serious etc as I would've been fuming. But he doesn't want me to 'hold back' if a decent guy comes into my life who I could have something with as he wants me to be happy, he doesn't want me waiting for him. How selfless is that? But I told him not to feel hesitant to tell me if he is ready in the coming weeks or months as I'd want to give it another go and he said I'd be the first person he tells. We talked in his car for like 2 hours. I'm gutted I really am, so is he.

:weep::weep::weep:

[Oosh]

Oh no Charlotte. Sorry to hear this.

Your reservations at the start where probably right. He was more immature than you needed him to be. That's where the age gap has told. What you needed and what he was capable of giving at 18 (?) were two different things.

I don't mean immature in a derogatory way either. I just mean young emotionally and in experience.

Lots of us here probably need that bit more attention and reassurance. It's often hard for suitable partners to give that but ones who are 18 and inexperienced and emotionally immature are going to find it a handful.
Maybe at his end he was getting a bit upset by it all and as you do at that age, had a chat with mum and agreed a proper relationship with someone a bit older was a bit early for him to handle.

He probably feels he falls short of being what YOU need and on the other hand is also getting insecure about whether YOU like HIM and "is she upset with me, an I not doing enough, she's going off me etc".

It's not easy when you're young. You have no experience to go on, no lessons you've learned.

But YOUVE got some more experiences. YOUVE learned some more things.

Maybe you need someone a bit older than you, who like you said, can understand what you need a bit more.

It's not good or bad it's just experience/lessons learned Charlotte.

First relationship experience can be A LOT more painful than this so the way I see it you've both gained a little, moderately painful relationship experience.
Could be a LOT worse.

Look forward, lots of new exciting relationships to have with the experience you've gained !

[Charlotteee89]

He wanted a relationship for so long and once he was in one he clearly realized he's just not ready and it's all a bit much for him. He's very mature in the way he thinks and his morals though, so it's slightly surprising that he's not ready emotionally for a relationship as he's emotionally mature in so many other ways. :shrug: He said last week that he's constantly worrying if he's doing enough and being the perfect boyfriend, also. So I suppose that just shows how nervous and worried he's been. He also said he still feels like a child.

At first he made it seem that he was annoyed and down about the fact we haven't done much as a couple and was thinking I was going off him, and even though I told him that's not that case at all (like I said above) it wasn't going to make a difference, he just isn't ready. A part of me can't help but blame myself a little for getting involved with an 18 year old as I probably should've seen this coming. But him not being ready just didn't enter my mind, his nervousness just seemed down to confidence. Ah well.

He said he was going to text me after work (he was on an early and finished at 12 today) but as of yet, nothing, maybe he's still fragile, he did say the next few days are going to be hard for him.

I had a few little cries, but at the same time I'm slightly relieved as I was so nervous about all the intimate stuff as I'm so self-conscious about my body so at the same time I'm glad I won't have to deal with that anymore, as I was clearly very stressed and anxious about it. He spent a lot of time in my house so I'm thinking of all those times and getting upset telling myself "Ugh, he's never going to be here ever again..." But we are hopefully going to hang out and see each other so it's not like I won't ever see him again, it'll just be different. He won't be in my house, where I'm feeling stressed about all the intimate stuff anymore. We'll have physical contact but it'll be more relaxed. I did get teary eyed hugging him last night though. :weep:

I'm going to work in a bit and I'm so nervous about telling everyone as, as far as they're concerned we're happy and loved up.. They're going to be so shocked! And I hope I don't start getting upset, it's going to be hard though. I'm getting teary eyed just writing this.

Sigh.

[Charlotteee89]

Just wanted to 'let this out', I like to use this as like an online diary when I don't have anyone else to talk too.

I was talking to a couple of friends at work earlier about our break up and one of the girls said "It seems like you being angry at him freaked him out and worried him and made him over-think everything as he was already thinking you weren't bothered anymore" and that it seems ironic that he's been thinking 'for about a week' that he's not ready for a relationship when about a week ago it was Friday in which he mentioned last night that I didn't make an effort with him to see him and why was that... So maybe from that Friday he's been worrying about the fact I don't seem to be interested anymore and then I got angry with him on Tuesday which made him even more worried and scared and also, on Sat of last week he asked whether he was coming round on the Sun night and I said jokingly "You're more than welcome round mine any time ;)" to which he replied with "But do you want me to though?" which he's never asked, ever. And the fact he asked me about Tuesday and the last week thing first rather than just telling me that he's just not ready seem's a bit off, like why would they matter if he simply just isn't ready? Why be so bothered if it wasn't all, sort off, connected? All a bit coincidental everyone thinks. But saying that, when we had our little 'tiff' on Tuesday I came across really needy saying that I missed him and want to see him all time time etc, and he was the one saying that he understand's that but we can't see each other all the time due to our shifts and that it's good to do our own thing and have our own space, then I got moody with him telling him that's he's not getting it etc etc so why didn't he mention the Friday thing then during our tiff if it's something that was bothering him? All very confusing. He said after our tiff he woke up and re-read everything we said and he was just confused and scared, thinking I was really angry at him to the point that I might dump him but at the same time he was thinking he's just not ready. Hmmmm.

Last night, and for the last few days it seems, he's been thinking I'm going to dump him so that's maybe freaked him out to the point he's realized/convinced himself/told himself that he's just not ready. No idea.

Who knows eh? Maybe he did freak himself out, he's a massive worrier and over-thinker, so it wouldn't surprise me tbh. Or maybe it's all separate and maybe not connected and he was just wondering considering after knowing how I feel he still said he's not ready. Or even, all this drama and confusion just got too much for him and he did realize he can't handle it and he's not ready. OR it's a combination of everything, it was just a bit much too young (he did say he still feels like a child in some ways), he was still nervous and just couldn't handle it, all the relationship-py stuff, maybe we rushed a bit. However he did say he doesn't know why he's not ready and that he needs to figure it out. But I think I did throw him off, he clearly didn't expect me to not dump him. I have so many un-answered questions that are going to drive me mad I think!

:shrug:

[Charlotteee89]

Another update/sort off diary entry.

We texted a little bit this morning, I was feeling really low and confused and was quite open about that via text and I was kind off miffed how he seemed to be alright about everything, he said that he was feeling better about everything because I am (clearly I wasn't, which he then realized). He said we'll be friends 'for the time being' and he's relieved and happy that he hasn't lost me for good. And he reiterated that he didn't want to leave it for another 6 months and hurt me even more.

At work tonight he spoke to one of the women I work with on my Department who he's always liked. She simply saw him on her break and just asked "Hello hun, you alright?" and he said 'no, not really' and they had a little chat, he asked her "She knows I want to be with her don't she?" and he also said "I think I did the right thing, I didn't want to be selfish (or it might've been cruel, she can't remember)" to which she replied with "No I think you did, you've got to make the right decision for you, if you don't then it'll effect her", he also said (after I persume) "I do (really) want to be with her, I just need time.." so I feel better overall, knowing that he does actually want to be with me, I was worried that he also didn't know how he felt about me.

:)

[Oosh]

Yeh that does sound positive.

Glad you're feeling better Charlotte.

[Charlotteee89]

Thank you :)

My anxiety has calmed right down, surprisingly. I think I was more anxious than I realized about this relationship, especially certain (intimate) things. Also, when we broke up I remember after thinking "Well at least I haven't got to worry about the intimate things anymore, we can just be friends and hang out, no pressure or expectation.." That's pretty telling. I was clearly very uncomfortable with it all. I think I just didn't expect to have to worry about how I feel about a guy seeing my body, etc so soon. I sort off feel like a weight's been lifted off my shoulders, but I still feel sad that he's no longer my boyfriend, I will miss him in that way. I now feel that there's space in my mind for me to think and concentrate on other things, like my mind isn't so consumed with him. I've realized my relationship anxiety has made me stop my driving lessons (I haven't had one for weeks) so now I'm determined to get back into them and be on my way to book my test.

[Oosh]

I can completely understand why that would be a relief. You're talking to someone who has spent vast amounts of time worrying about future events.

Thing is though, what bothers you has really just been avoided ... for now. At some point it will come around again. Hopefully, with him ! Because he sounded nice !

These things need to be faced or they'll lie there in your future worrying you forever OR they'll be avoided forever.

If at all possible, between now and then, I'd become as comfortable, confident, secure in your own body as you can.

I don't know how your body weight is these days, whether it's still low and whether you're secure or insecure about that. But just try and feel as good about yourself as you can between now and next time. You don't want to go through all of this worry again. :)

[Charlotteee89]

I know that, but at least now I'll have time to feel more relaxed and comfortable about it :) The intimate stuff was happening quite fast, and even though I really wanted too, I just get massively nervous about it.

Thing is though, he's the one who initiated most of it, so him 'not being ready' comes as a surprise still. I just think he overwhelmed himself as soon as he started to think I was going off him and then that I was going to break up with him, he couldn't handle those feelings and the stress.

[Charlotteee89]

Bleh, me and the ex had a big text argument tonight... Everything he said just wound me up and hurt me more and so I got angry even more. :weep:

He said (before it got heated) that he doesn't know why he's not ready exactly but that 'it didn't feel right' and also said 'maybe cause it wasn't meant to be' and that 'we didn't really get to know eachother really either' and 'it was only 6 weeks, I know it felt longer but it wasn't' so that just triggered an angry backlash from me. I think I'm just hurt and feeling betrayed cause I clearly thought it was the real deal and that it will work out and that I haven't got to worry about him, he really likes me, it's all good, clearly that's not how it turned out.

It doesn't help that before him the 'other work guy' thing happened, he basically played me for weeks and said that he doesn't have feelings for me and doesn't want a relationship but was in one with another girl a week later. Ouch.

I'm going through that 'it must be me' phase, thinking that maybe my weight, personality etc drives guys away. :weep:

But I've always been independent, and I said my first thought after we broke up was "Well at least I haven't got to worry about the more intimate things anymore" as I was more stressed about that than I realized. Hanging out with him feels so much more comfortable for me. But I'm still hurt, is it weird to want someone to have feelings for you, to think you're special? Or is that just my anxiety being a nuisense again?

[Oosh]

No it's not weird to want someone to have feelings for you. Don't get disheartened. Don't add meaning to it that's not there. I say carry on just as you are. If either of those two wanted a proper relationship with someone who requires them to be a proper commited, attentive boyfriend, they'd still be here.

You are right to require that from someone you're thinking of having a relationship.

Don't get down on yourself. Both of those lads wanted to sleep with you so you were attractive to them both in that way.

Not every lad wants a relationship like that.
Lads who have options don't.
Young immature lads don't.

I think you did right in not sleeping with either of them.

You wanted a committed bf, not to be a notch on the bed of a couple of lads from work.

You're upset because neither came through as the commited bf you needed. I think you're right to be. Unfortunately you're going to have to sift through that type of lad to find that one who DOES want to commit to you and stick around and be what you need.

Two fingers up to both of them Charlotte.
They both fancied you.
You weren't easy for either of them.
They showed their true colours.
You can continue to go into work with your head held high.

Keep your high standards Charlotte.
I'd go on the respectable dating sites if I were you.
Find someone who's more mature and serious.

With anxiety etc you're gonna need someone understanding and commited. A lad who walks in and out of your life is no use to you. Keep doing what you're doing. Keep looking !

[Charlotteee89]

It's just really hard, I miss him more and more as time goes on. I kept seeing him at work tonight (I can't help but look out for him ugh) and he did say hello so clearly he's not too angry with me, I did apologise for my angry outburst the next day.

He was genuine, he didn't use me, he's just very confused right now. He said he's not scared of a serious relationship just not ready for one. *shrugs*

One day I'll find a guy who's actually on my level and will be what I need and want but I think having a taste of companionship just makes me crave it more. However I am still independent. I just need to get over him and when I do I'm sure I'll be back to being my more independent self. My mind is just so consumed with him atm.

[Oosh]

"I think having a taste of companionship just makes me crave it more."

Yeh thats how it happened with me. Its a good sign when you start noticing you feel like that. Painful at first though when a relationship has ended.

Id act on it and find another companion. My confidence would slip back if left too long then id start to get anxious about it again.

I think being independent is overrated.

[Charlotteee89]

I've always been very independent probably due to my low confidence and insecurities tbh, but since my confidence has got so much better I'm getting more anxious and frustrated over things I never really thought about or wanted before.

Me and the ex had another, sort off, heated discussion tonight, he was thinking I was 'clinging onto something that wasn't there anymore' as I've been texting him 'nearly every day' (not quite true, we didn't talk all weekend), but I was sort off shocked but also thought whether that was actually true. For weeks and weeks we talked near enough every day and we became very close so I think I'm just so used to that, I care about him enough to wonder how he is and how his day has been etc. I miss him, so that makes me want to talk to him even more, I just feel better when I do, more relaxed.

I'm not sure if that means I'm clinging onto him though? We're meant to be friends, I do talk to my other friends near enough every day too. But he did admit that he doesn't really text other people all that much, not even his best mate, so I can understand why he'd think I was clinging onto him, he thinks it's weird as we're no longer in a relationship, and because my mood has been so up and down he said I thought I wasn't handling it well (which made him feel that I was then clinging onto him). I feel quite embarrassed about that. :blush: Definitely don't want to be clingy!

I've been worried that last week's heated argument caused damage and he didn't really want to be friends now so I suppose I've been texting him to 'check' how he's being with me, to see whether he seems okay with me. I definitely don't want to lose him as a friend. He's clearly took that the wrong way and now I feel really silly. :doh:

Oh well!

[Brunette]

It's rarely possible to go straight from being in a relationship to just being friends.

In my experience you need to give each other plenty of space for a while before you can actually restart your relationship on a different footing. Also you should realise that some people say they want to stay friends when they don't really mean it because they think it will hurt the other person less, but all that does is prolong the pain. Be sure thats not what's happening to you.

If I were you I'd stop texting him. If you really need to speak to him do it face to face in office hours but, to be honest, it sounds like you've been over everything more than once and that there's nothing else to say. Only you can know to what extent you are raking over old ground but if you are, take a step back and ask yourself what purpose it will serve.

Otherwise, keep on friendly terms at work but leave it at that.

[Charlotteee89]

Oh I know it's not easy, when we first broke up we were texting a lot for a few days, he was happy that we ended on good terms and could still be friends and talk and see eachother and that maybe when he's ready we could maybe start things up again but then it came apparent that I was struggling to deal with the break up as I felt really hurt (it didn't kick in till afterwards) and he was beside himself over how hurt I was, he thought I was doing okay, he then thought I actually really disliked him and that just complicated things. We've been on and off since and we've had a few heated talks and arguments which has just made things more complicated.

I think if it wasn't for our heated arguments and my on and off moods he wouldn't of thought I was 'clinging onto something that wasn't there before' to make myself feel better, I've just been confusing him, he made that clear, I can see from his perspective why he thought that.

I am going to give him space for a few days and now that I know we're okay I won't have an urge to text him anyway. I'll leave him be. I definitely don't think he doesn't want to actually be friends, that's not him at all, he was in such a state when we broke up (and then when he realized how hurt I was, he was struggling too) and thought he'd lost me for good. Things ended well last night, I think we're going to be okay now and he said he hopes there's gonna be no more arguments and complications.

[Oosh]

I have to agree with Brunette.

I think it was significant in your previous post when you said you missed his companionship.
Having social anxiety, I've been there. When someone came along it relieved the loneliness and made it so much harder when it ended. For a long spell I had to go back to being completely alone.
You can convince yourself of all sorts of things. You can try to reassure yourself that it's still there in some capacity.

It's such a wonderful thing to have someone there.

If I could write the script for this Charlotte, after learning some lessons, the moment he said he didn't want a relationship id have seen it like "he's blown it".
Carry on unaffected, be polite but become distant with each other again, unless he approaches you.
And ideally he sees you smiling each day, getting on with things and then sees you being taken on a date by someone else. You say hi to him as you two pass him and don't give him a second glance.

One day in the future, seeing you like that, he may text you and test the water, if he has any interest in you at all. You then make him work extra hard to get an ounce of your attention.

You have to have value for yourself even if you're hurting and want desperately to text him and hope for signs he wants to still be a companion.
You just end up hurt more.

I don't like his latest comments "clinging onto something that's gone" etc
Find a new companion Charlotte. In my opinion it shouldn't be him now.
You can make all the excuses in the world for him but this is a lad who has passed up the chance to have a relationship with you, for whatever reason !
Don't get insecure about that, just drop him like a bad habit and find someone who DOES want you and thinks highly of you.

Just appreciate what you can learn from the whole experience - you want a companion. So actively look for (the right) one. But in my opinion (sorry) not him. He's blown it.
He was lucky you gave him the time of day you're worth more than this Charlotte.

[Charlotteee89]

I may want a companion but I'm even more sure that it's not going to be him. I'm definitely not seeking that from him, just maybe friendship, who knows how that will turn out. I came across very needy I've realized, I'm not surprised he was thinking I was clinging onto him! I've been sending him mixed messages since we broke up. One minute I'm okay, the next I'm upset, the next I'm angry and lashing out at him, the next I'm okay again talking to him, then I'm angry again, then upset but still talking to him... :wacko:

He's 18 years old, and he's not ready for a relationship, he still feels like a child but we became very close and I know him pretty well. Everyone that knows him and everyone at work loves him to death. I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt and I don't think in any way he was messing me around, I have never seen anyone (especially a guy) look so devastated and upset when we broke up, it was clear he was a mess and had been crying most of the day over his decision, I cannot ignore that and I cannot breeze over that. When we started talking he was a nervous wreck, and had no female experience what so ever, I was the first female who actually showed genuine interest and talked to him in that way. I don't know why he's not ready, he doesn't really know either, meh, what will be, will be.

I'm definitely going to put on a brave face though, I'm not going to let him see me upset or hurt anymore, I'm just going to get on with it. I'm not going to lose face over him. I'm going to let him see what he's missing than anything else! And I'm going to be on the hunt for a guy who's around my age or a bit older. ;)

[Oosh]

I'm definitely going to put on a brave face though, I'm not going to let him see me upset or hurt anymore, I'm just going to get on with it. I'm not going to lose face over him. I'm going to let him see what he's missing than anything else! And I'm going to be on the hunt for a guy who's around my age or a bit older. ;)

Now you're talking ! :shades:

Join match.com or something. Look for someone that from your experience may suit you more and get him to take you on a date.