littleblonde2005
27-08-14, 01:58
I never thought I'd be writing that as a title, saying it out loud (or typing) . But this is my life at the moment.
I have always been very anxious and pretty much worried about everything and I have had OCD for as long back as I can remember. But have always sort of muddled through and accepted this was my life. But since the birth of my eldest daughter in 2010 I have had health anxiety. I had it for a few month after she was born but it did slowly settle. Then in 2011 when I had my second daughter it came back and felt a bit worse and lasted a little longer but again settled. But all this year now it's reared it's head and it's just getting harder and harder to deal with it. My OCD is worse as on top of everything I have to deal with that it's also making the constant checking worse and it takes longer. I always felt like I had control but I don't anymore.
It's a constant cycle. My biggest worries are currently cervical cancer and Brest cancer. My fears all seem to be in those areas. Although at the start of this week mouth cancer joined in as well. Every ache I have I put down to having cancer. I spend so long on google that I no most sites word for word. I no I should stay away but I get this obsessive urge to look and nothing will stop me. I spend hours hunting lumps, examining my body, panicking about pains and wondering how I am going to tell my dr I think I have found something else. I am exhausted. I am causing more pains because of the prodding. I am currently sat here with back ache and wondering what this means I must have.
I feel down now, I am not sleeping , I am grouchy and just fed up. My life seems to be taking up by the constant worry and obsessive checking.
I finally feel like I can't feel like this anymore. I deserve better and so do my family. I have made an appointment with my gp and I go next Week. But I have no idea where to start. Do I mention the health Anxiety OCD and anxiety or do I just mention one this time. How do I even start the conversation. Any tips on what to say or mention.
Thanks for reading
I have always been very anxious and pretty much worried about everything and I have had OCD for as long back as I can remember. But have always sort of muddled through and accepted this was my life. But since the birth of my eldest daughter in 2010 I have had health anxiety. I had it for a few month after she was born but it did slowly settle. Then in 2011 when I had my second daughter it came back and felt a bit worse and lasted a little longer but again settled. But all this year now it's reared it's head and it's just getting harder and harder to deal with it. My OCD is worse as on top of everything I have to deal with that it's also making the constant checking worse and it takes longer. I always felt like I had control but I don't anymore.
It's a constant cycle. My biggest worries are currently cervical cancer and Brest cancer. My fears all seem to be in those areas. Although at the start of this week mouth cancer joined in as well. Every ache I have I put down to having cancer. I spend so long on google that I no most sites word for word. I no I should stay away but I get this obsessive urge to look and nothing will stop me. I spend hours hunting lumps, examining my body, panicking about pains and wondering how I am going to tell my dr I think I have found something else. I am exhausted. I am causing more pains because of the prodding. I am currently sat here with back ache and wondering what this means I must have.
I feel down now, I am not sleeping , I am grouchy and just fed up. My life seems to be taking up by the constant worry and obsessive checking.
I finally feel like I can't feel like this anymore. I deserve better and so do my family. I have made an appointment with my gp and I go next Week. But I have no idea where to start. Do I mention the health Anxiety OCD and anxiety or do I just mention one this time. How do I even start the conversation. Any tips on what to say or mention.
Thanks for reading