View Full Version : how many of you HA suffers are afraid of dying
I never no if I have HA as my fear as always been about dying yet I panic at every pimple every tingle anything that I don't think feels right but at the end its not just illness its always deadly ones that you will die of just be interested to see how many of us arexxxxxx
I never no if I have HA as my fear as always been about dying yet I panic at every pimple every tingle anything that I don't think feels right but at the end its not just illness its always deadly ones that you will die of just be interested to see how many of us arexxxxxx
Trish, that is the very essence of posts on this site. A back ache is cancer. A twitch is MS or ALS. A cold sore is oral cancer. A fissure is bowel cancer etc. etc. etc.
Positive thoughts
It is that and there is no reasoning with the mind once its decided that's it panic the fear hangs in there I sometimes won't go to doctor as I think they going to tell me somting bad is wrong like if you do not no it won't happen silly I no but that's the truth xx
---------- Post added at 13:45 ---------- Previous post was at 13:44 ----------
Trish, that is the very essence of posts on this site. A back ache is cancer. A twitch is MS or ALS. A cold sore is oral cancer. A fissure is bowel cancer etc. etc. etc.
Positive thoughts I think you are brave you really been through it bless xxxxx
Oh yes!!!!
I actually dont feel normal unless I find something wrong with me, and then I start planning my funeral. Been this way since I was a little girl, extremely exhausting ;/
all the time, i constantly think I've got some heart problem or disease, i just want to go to the doctors all the time, how can i accept something when i have doubts i have something serious:-(
I no SBD when you get told by doctors your fine within a few days your back to not believing you doubt what they told you then you think they missing something but the worst tjn is you fear your I'll and going to die xxx
Hi yes I agree
Today I'm sure I'm goin to die from a heart attack I've even rang doctors AGAIN, to have stress test done as my ecg and blood test came back completely normal. Pains in arm and neck and shoulder and feeling extremely tired are convincing me something is deadly wrong xx
---------- Post added at 11:21 ---------- Previous post was at 11:19 ----------
Also with pain gettin palpitations surely can't be just anxiety ? Worried !!
puzzledlass
28-08-14, 11:36
I'm not afraid of death. I am afraid of how my death would impact my loved ones.
Yes puzzeldlass I kinda get that but its like I imagine how they would be without me and move on and you just a memory its weird I can't explain xx
Dolphin8808
28-08-14, 14:29
Oh yes, this is so me! Sometimes I want tests so bad to make sure I am ok but then I hate tests because I am so scared they ARE going to find something wrong. I am so scared of something horrible being wrong, with everything I do it freaks me out!!!!
I am like this to never go to docs wat to scaredxx
I don't think its the fear of dying with me because yes I am going to die one day! Its the fear of the getting a disease early and having to go through endless heartache and leaving my parents and husband very sad
Blless I think everyone of us fear dying due to a long drawn out illness I would say mainly cancer is the big fear for alit of us even people without health anxiety xxx
Dolphin8808
29-08-14, 13:13
I agree, cancer is my biggest fear. Even though they have come so far and so many now survive, its still so scary. Right, I know I am going to die one day, we all are, my fear is dying well before my time and leaving my family.
Yeah dolphins that was always my fear then as I got older is leaving my kids xxx
Avasmummy_x
29-08-14, 14:08
This is just my life in one post. I'm 21 and have a two year old and I'm 100% sure I've got a brain tumour that is gonna be inoperable and I'm gonna have to leave a 2year old little girl without her mummy. It's an awful thought process.
I know to well how u feel u sound just like me. every minute of every single day I have an illness im dying my family r dying of something its a horrible circle. right now I have a brain tumor. lung cancer. god wish it would all just stop :-(
xofeatherxo
01-09-14, 09:21
Fear of death is without a doubt the biggest factor for me. It's at the point now where I'll be googling symptoms (as I really shouldn't do but eh, it happens) and I'll be relieved if I find some debilitating, painful but survivable disease with the same symptoms as whatever deadly disease I was worried about.
I don't want to die, it's that simple. I like life, I like being happy, and while the human experience overall is terrifying, it's also beautiful and sometimes hilarious and all the happy moments are so worth the bad. I'm terrified that mine will end before I've had a chance to really even start. There's so much I haven't seen and so much I haven't done and as soon as I get this latest C-word panic out of the way (it's my ovaries this week) I plan on trying to get into some sort of therapy to get this under control.
It's just such a weird, conflicted feeling that I love life so much and I'm terrified of death, but at the same time while I don't want to kill myself and I don't want to die, I sort of wish I'd never been born so I didn't have to worry all the time. I just want to feel normal again. :/
My heart goes out to you all I ave been scared for fifty six years its ruled me and still doing it I say I am not living I am surviving the battle every day xxxx
Derekmiller
01-09-14, 10:19
I suppose we`re all scared of dying but like being born it`s a natural process that we won`t know much about. I mean, who is scared of going to sleep? It`s basically the same thing.
Until we realise dying is part of existing and have a fear of it we`ll always have some fabricated religion to try sugar coat the whole thing.
Our allocated time slot on this planet is limited and such is life
I think most peoples HA comes down to a fear of death in some form... It's the last great unknown isn't it ... No-ones comes back to tell you what it's like if there's anything else or if it's just blackness.. I'm terrified of death in all forms if I hear someone young has died even if I don't known them I will go out of my way to found out how they died an if it's some kind of illness or sudden health related death it sets me off ... I'm in another country on holiday atm on the other side of the world an I'm in a right state just want to be home convinced something bad is going to happen an I'm going to die without seeing my daughter again and leave her without a mummy...life is so beautiful it's a shame to be like this
The only family member I have is my daughter she's 24 still lives with me and just split with her bf of 8yrs I'm 49 and my fear of dying is leaving my daughter with no other family member to help her deal I think if she was married with a home of her own I wouldn't be so scared the entire of my family as been wiped out by cancer so as you can imagine cancer is my fear particularly bowel cancer which I fear I have every single day
Hello there,
I am new to the site, but this was the first post that caught my eye. Recently I've developed anxiety and panic disorder, and the main reason for my panic attacks is the eventual fact that we all must die someday. I think moreso though, my worries stem from whether I will die painfully and how I don't want to leave my husband behind, etc. It has plagued me nonstop for weeks now..
I hear the both of you there so many things that make it more s scarey not knowing when or how and who we have to leave xxx
I'm terrified. It's quite funny (in that it's really not funny and it makes every day hell sort of way!) but two months ago, I was sure I was the most aware of my own mortality than many people I knew and was at peace with it. A couple of twitches in my stomach a few weeks later, and I've had multiple crying fits over the fact I could be dying soon.
It's really hard to wrap our heads around. In a way I think things build up over a while. My long term neighbour died last year after a long illness and I noticed how little the world seems to change which set me off on a strange path. If I look at it rationally. A couple of months later, one of my mothers best friends passed due to a heart attack out of nowhere. And the same thing.
At the moment I envy the me of two months ago that was slightly lethargic with life but happy enough to be able to roll on to the computer every morning (not literally) and now that feels so hard.
We're all of us still alive, we have to remember that. Let's team up and tackle this debilitating HA demon once and for all. :hugs:
Yes, Trish, it's the how and when that is the question. I have a big problem with this. I've lost a few friends in their thirties and I have a friend my age who is also dying. I watched my Father wither away in a painful end. I grew up with my Mother trying to fight Cancer. I am surrounded by illness and death. There is no good in my Life, it's all Hospital, looking after ill people, visits from Doctors and Nurses all the time and being with a Partner who is ill. I can't die, I have too many people to look after and I can't be ill, because there is no-one to look after me. It scares me so much and I know I should be living my Life. I have overcome the Health Anxiety thing, but the dying/death thing; well, I'm constantly asking myself; how much longer have I got left? How will I die? The pain of dying scares me too. I have seen so much pain with others, it has affected me real bad. Never used to be like this, think :Life has just been too painful lately. I wish I wasn't so sensitive. My Mother who is nearly 82 now, tells me to just live your Life and stop worrying about it. Easier said than done. :scared15:
You can't live your life to the full if you are afraid of dying. You can't avoid dying either, or, in the main, choose you manner of death, so it's a pointless exercise worrying about it.
I know a lady, a friend of my grandmother, who has had HA all her life. We used to dread her coming round and having to listen to her woes.
I found out the other week that she's 90. All those years spent worrying (and, for all I know, still worrying) yet she's had a long life and was clearly fighting fit all those years ago when she was convinced she was ill.
Don't end up like her!
Yep very good point x
---------- Post added at 16:56 ---------- Previous post was at 16:56 ----------
But we will all carry on being afraid xx
I'm not afraid of being dead, but I am so scared of a long lingering death.
I have varying degrees of agoraphobia, which when I'm feeling sick, always becomes a major panic attack. Hysteria, vomiting, diarrhoea, shaking, etc.
How would I be able to go to a hospital for treatment,pain relief, nursing care?
I think about it EVERY time I am I'll. and I never see a senario that will allow me to "let" medical professionals help me die.
But
Worse than this is the distress my "panic behaviour" would do to my family having to watch my horrendous departure!
My best friend's brother died a month ago. It was totally out of the blue. He just never woke up. He was perfectly healthy. Because of this, my anxiety is back and I have panic attacks almost every day, which sucks because I used to be so much better. So now I'm right at the beginning. I fear death so much.
I just watched a film and strangely there was a line that made me look up.
"I am afraid of dying because it is something I have no control over".
I also fear a long, painful death or just the fear of knowing the end is near. I also fear watching my kids cry because I'm dying. I don't fear instant death at all.
Yes. I often think that my health anxiety is actually because I have this horror of dying. I've tried to think why - I mean, we can't avoid it. I know I dread leaving my children, and also sometimes I just think - 'I LIKE it here! I don't want to leave.' Then I just get this - usually at night - thought that I just cannot imagine NOT being here. I mean, I know I won't know about it, but just the idea that one day I will not exist, is terrifying. That is why I think I have health anxiety about every little thing.
---------- Post added at 15:45 ---------- Previous post was at 15:44 ----------
I just watched a film and strangely there was a line that made me look up.
"I am afraid of dying because it is something I have no control over".
Ah, yes. That too. I think many of us have a horror of things we cannot control. I think this underpins much of anxiety. Not sure how we could change that.
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