New to this forum but crippled by anxiety

[Twinsmummy]

Hello all
I'm not sure if this is the best place to talk about this. I have health anxiety but I also have issues with my self esteem that literally is taking my breath away.

I have never had a lot of confidence but every now and then something will happen and I will be crushed. The most ridiculous things will upset me. Tonight I was on Facebook and lots of 'friends' were nominating each other for the ice bucket challenge, both the grown ups and the kids. No-one has chosen me or my family. I realise how stupid this sounds but I can't breathe I'm so upset. I have always felt like a nobody and now I have passed that on to my children too. I know this is utterly ludicrous and please don't vilify me for this terrible example. I have been meaning to write for months but didn't know where to start, or was afraid to.

I am seeing a counsellor who thinks I am fantastic and doesn't seem to believe I struggle but I am so unhappy.

I'm not sure why I am writing this now, I just needed to do something to stop me from crumbling completely...

God bless you all who struggle with your confidence. X

[rossthekid]

Hi,
you are not ridiculous, or sound daft. You sound like someone who's mind is exhausted, and when its like this you think some weird stuff, I know cause I come out with some interesting thoughts. I presume like me at the counsellor you put on a good show, which fools everybody into thinking everything is ok. You are not alone, we are all suffering in here, but there is a way to start to change this. It took me 13 years to work out this stuff and I am not there yet but I am better and this site and support will help you understand and process all this stuff.
ps you are normal you just worry a wee bot to much and in my opinion that makes us anxiety suffers as people who are special cause we care too much, in other words above the normal people.

[Twinsmummy]

Oh my word, what a lovely reply, thank you.

I admitted to my counsellor that I put on a front, I call it "hit and run". I can do short conversations well, especially with strangers, it's meaningful relationships I struggle with, I both crave and am terrified and exhausted by the idea of friends.

I sometimes feel like I am drowning and to be honest the rest of the time it takes the slightest thing to drag me under. I don't know what to do next, I have tried engaging with the outside world and hiding from it and neither seems to work.

I really do appreciate your kind reply, it means more than I can say and I wish you ongoing success in your path to confidence. Thank you.

[laurenn]

Think of everything positive in your life and push that to the front of your mind everytime you get bad thoughts. You probably have a lot going for you and make the most of every opportunity. Maybe you enjoy doing something in particular? Well you could master is and your confidence may grow? Keep your head up:-)

[rossthekid]

Anxiety holds anyone back from normal relationships because it is such an inverted feeling. I had terrible guilt over my relationships my kids due to my constant attention on myself. There are a few basic steps to get your mind into a different perspective.
1. Understand it- I mean really understand why your physical and mental health are affected by a simple overproduction of adrenaline. A normal body response to anxiety. Every mental and physical symptom or thought is caused by this simple explanation.
2.Change your relationship to it- don't worry about it, accept it, its your new friend, even go further wish it.
3. Don't battle anxiety- you will never win, it likes the battle so it can keep push you into its depths. Accept, accept and accept.
4. Don't wait to be better to live your life- live your life and you will get better.
5. Have fun- do stuff you enjoy.
6. Diet- ensure you understand that your body needs extra good stuff to help in its challenges
7- Exercise- build it up slowly at first.
8.Relaxation- plenty of stuff on youtube- one is called mbsr body scan. do it every day and enjoy
9. Expect difficulty- it wont go away overnight it is a process, give your mind a break from worry to heal. It will take time. Remember when you learned to ride a bike, you didn't just get on and you were off. You had to practice, know your subconscious does it automatically, you need to do this again. It will become automatic.

Hopes this helps a wee bit.
ps I nominate you for the icebucket challenge, and remember donate.

[Twinsmummy]

Dear Rossthekid and Laurenn

Thank you both from the bottom of my heart. I will take your advice and I have downloaded a book on anxiety that was recommended on here too.

It means a lot that you would take the time to reply to a mad stranger. I wish you both well and hope to bump into you on here again soon.
X