Gettin' old!

[HalfJack]

I'm 25 - I accept that 25 isn't old and that getting old is actually pretty cool, especially if you consider that not everyone gets to.

However I'm getting the first pangs of aging now, I don't think I truly understood the word exhausted until this year! I can no longer get away with smoking, drinking and burning the candles at both ends without feeling really ill (FYI I've quit smoking and cut down big time on the other two) My biggest issue is that I hate the way my body is changing.

I haven't had panic attacks over it but it makes me anxious and I'm worried about how insecure I'm becoming over it and I can feel it getting to a point where it will be a big problem. I've never been happy with the way I look but I was fine with getting changed around my boyfriend and close friends before, now I don't like being undressed when I'm alone, let alone around other people!
Please tell me I'm not crazy :doh:

[MyNameIsTerry]

Well, you certainly ain't crazy HalfJack!

It is true, you can't get away with things as you get older because your body changes. I can't do what I used to in my twenties in terms of drinking & eating. You have to adapt to that through life and I'm sure people more mature than me will be able to say that better than I can.

Fatigue is common to anxiety, you are basically working your body harder every day. I have felt 20 years older than my age and you are still quite young at 25. I would suggest looking at diet and potential deficiences e.g. I have found since supplementing with high strength Omega 3's & vitamin C that my fatugue has greatly reduced and my headaches are mostly gone. My digestion is better for supplementation of basic probiotics.

So, what I am saying is that the fatigue you feel may be due to the affect of anxiety, potential deficiences in diet or from overworking the body, etc.

The rest about body image is probably due to your confidence being low. Anxiety is great at flawing our self confidence, self worth and self esteem. I don't like being without a coat thesedays as I have let myself go yet there are blokes far more out of shape than me who walk around without a care.

I think you said you get some exercise now. Why not look at a regular routine? Why not do some bodyweight exercises to tone you up? Thats the practical thing you can do.

It could also be a matter of acceptance and remembering that your BF, without getting graphic, is surely very happy with you in that manner. I think women are more self critical of body image than men anyway, but take something from his image of you.

[James244]

It's funny you should say all this as I was going to start a post about how I obsess with old age and think about it too much even though I'm 24

But what you're describing doesn't sound like an aging thing, it's all just the anxiety disorder. There are times when I've truly believed my body to be unhealthy and frail, but you're pretty much at the peak of health. Its your mind you need to work on, not your body.

[susan64]

Hi Halfjack, oh I wish I was still 25! Having just doubled your age I can relate to the ageing fear! It's natural to think about ageing but really you're ageing at the same rate as your partner so he won't notice it, I can guarantee if a man loves you he doesn't see what we all see and don't like when we look in the mirror! Don't obsess about it because it's a natural process and there's bugger all we can do about it ;). So the upshot is......don't worry, be happy.....sure there's a song there somewhere haha. As for the other things, smoking, drinking etc, that will catch up with you eventually, I've seen it in my sons! Not the smoking but the drinking definitely. Btw, you are not crazy x

[MyNameIsTerry]

natural to think about ageing but really you're ageing at the same rate as your partner so he won't notice it, I can guarantee if a man loves you he doesn't see what we all see and don't like when we look in the mirror!

You put that far better than I did Susan! :yesyes::)

[HalfJack]

Thanks guys :)
Perhaps not anxiety but insecurity is a big issue for me. Aging just seems to be the newest thing on the list.

I think improving overall lifestyle and toning up would give me a good boost and trying to accept it and be happy isn't the worst idea! Working out how to do that might take a while though! It's easy to forget practical solutions sometimes.
A coat in this heat? I can't wait for winter so I can hide under huge baggy jumpers and layers of fabric.

Regarding my fella, I know he prefers skinny girls, but he's always telling me to enjoy myself and not worry about what I eat. I think it's more indifference than liking how I look though haha.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Anxiety is great at undermining our self confidence, self worth & self esteem. It results in insecurity.

Its a 2 pronged attack because you can build the best body in the world but if you can't accept yourself you still end up in the same trap.

You could look at exercise that you can do at home for now as I remember you have Agoraphobia and combined with insecurity over body image is likely to make it hard to exercise outside or in groups. If you look for exercise indoors, there is loads out there.

Toning is useful because it changes bodyshape, not just lose unwanted weight. It can make you appear taller, hence your stomach sucks in more (not saying you've got a problem there!) and widening your shoulders can help with hips.

[Fishmanpa]

I have kids your age for goodness sakes! I see you talking about getting old and I'm already there! ~lol~

In my best old man voice: Heh heh heh ... you young crazy whipper snappers and your worries and ailments! I'll tell you about ailments! When my back creaks it scares the cat! My aches and pains complain about their aches and pains!

Positive thoughts

[HalfJack]

Hahaha! Positive thoughts indeed.

Thanks for the tips, I often feel worried about exercising because I know so little about it I'm worried I'll end up weird shaped!
I never thought about looking for indoors stuff, Youtube is pretty good for work out videos actually I'll look there. I like my overall body shape, I think I just need to tone it up and lose excess fat... of which I now have plenty! Forget thunder thighs I think I have tempest thighs XD

[MyNameIsTerry]

Yeah, plenty of YouTube.

You could look at High Intensity Interval Training (HIIT) which is the best by far for weight loss but it is hard. Its meant to be. You don't have to do it so hard at first though as the videos they sell tend to offer a lesser level of intensity or variation of exercises to allow new people to start.

Aside from that there is Interval Training, which is like HIIT but lower intensity and doesn't have the 'active rest' periods. This could be a way to start and build up to HIIT.

These types of exercise are used for both toning and weight loss and they tend to focus on bodyweight which is all you need unless you want to build a lot of muscle.

Just a tip HalfJack, and it may not be for you due to travel costs, but there is a guy from who is a personal trainer that offers free sessions (I think it was the first 8) for members of Changes. They should be able to tell you how to contact him, but if not, let me know as I've got his details. I had them over a year ago, and my therapist also gave it as it they were promoting several schemes by Stoke City, and if he is still doing it, it was at a place near to the Changes office in Stoke. Its not a mainstream gym, its more for the older generation from what I recall so there is less pressure to look like you've been in the gym for years like at a lot of them.

Have a read online and look at a few mags in the supermarkets that are aimed at womens fitness. It will give you some ideas.

You could also look at lighter forms of exercise that, from a body image perspective, favour women such as Pilates & Yoga. These favour stretching but will tone women and help with posture. Yoga will help with mental health as well. There is also Tai Chi & Qi Gong which has comparable benefits to yoga. These are more gentle but ultimately to lose weight you will want to look at more workout based things.

[HalfJack]

I run away from magazines, full of adverts and people smiling too much... But I'll look up HIIT that sounds great!
I'm going to be moving soon, not sure where but might end up around stoke so that could be a plan if he's still doing his thing then. Thanks! :hugs:

Yoga is something I'd like to try, probably alongside working out more. Exercise helps my depression a lot, it's just getting out that's the problem. I'm always trying to improve my posture and core strength so pilates would be good too. I'm not worried about getting lady muscles from working out, strength is feminine as far as I'm concerned!

[MyNameIsTerry]

Well in that case, you could always consider yoga classes and I came across one local to me that you might be interested in. Its called Kundalini yoga and its not been public as long as the other forms but if you have a read about it, its all about inner peace and less concerned with the exercise element of yoga. It seemed to have some comparable values to Mindfulness so maybe that would be a gentle stretching form that is more aimed at mental health and wellness? It seems well priced at £4-5.

Do you know that Tara buddhist centres have a based along the A50 heading your way? They run sessions in Stoke & Newcastle I seem to recall for £5 a time so that might be worth a look for the Mindfulness as well. I don't know whether they just meditate or use objects as well but I think they have a website.

Well if you want lady muscles, there is a gym near my way that does all the animal/combat training stuff, flipping tires and all that...:yesyes: If you want a challenge for strenth & fitness, CrossFit is looking very good as its a combination of olympic lifts, bodyweight work, gymnastic work and plyometrics.

Building muscle is overlooked by a lot of women. You can widen your shoulders and gain better posture, which will all trim the waste.

If you are looking for bodyweight exercises, I have a book by Mark Lauren that is very good. He is one of the elite navy diver trainers in the US and the book is quite comprehensive.

As I've got older I've changed my mind on using weights, I prefer the idea of functional strength thesedays. It strengthens muscles that you can't easily do with weights.

[HalfJack]

Wow that's all potentially really useful thanks. I hate not being from around the area, never know what's around.

My boyfriend used to do weights so I kinda got into it through him but when I had my chest issues I had to stop, but I can probably get back into it slowly after some yoga, my body is was wrecked by that chest thing.

[Sunflower2]

I'd really recommend yoga. I started in January and go about once a week. It's made such a difference to my general body strength. I don't have much muscle mass on me anyway, but what I do have is really strong and toned now! Plus it's made me really flexible. Also I love the chilled out feeling I get after a yoga class, everything feels so laid back.

And in response to your original post - I've recently turned 22 and although the thought of getting older terrifies me, I'm enjoying being treated like an adult and being able to grow into an independent person. Maybe I can just stay this age forever haha! No more birthdays please!