Scared of interviews

[Oddfish]

I was made redundant last month and I'm having to face my nemesis again - interviews. Up until last Friday I wasn't feeling too anxious about things. I had my first interview lined up and was quietly confident but when I got in there it was awful. They asked me horrible questions that I wasn't prepared for and I made a total idiot of myself blabbing rubbish, despite spending ages on my preparations! Needless to say I didn't get the job! While I wasn't so bothered about the job, the interview absolutely crushed my confidence. I was sweating and my heart was racing for the rest of the day and I could not think straight.

I had another interview lined up for tomorrow but unable to get over Friday, I pulled out of it. I was too panic-stricken and I did not feel like I had time to properly prepare. It was for a much higher level job and I just felt completely out of my depth, worrying not only about the interview but also that I wouldn't be able to do the job. I have no self-confidence really. I felt really bad about pulling out of the interview (knowing how rare they are) instead of just giving it a go but I was just too stressed out.

Since last Friday I have felt awful. Today I felt as though I somehow lost time as the hours seemed to disappear without me actually doing anything. This afternoon I went to the supermarket and felt anxious and shakey and 'out of it'. I know all of this has been caused by the interview. Interview phobia is something that I have struggled with a lot over the last few years and can't seem to beat. I remember pulling out of stacks of interviews for the same reason, eventually landing two jobs WITHOUT going through the interview process. Has anybody else struggled with this and does anybody have any tips?

[lior]

This is a current struggle for me. I had an interview this morning and I literally felt drips of sweat and I was shaking most of the interview. Oh my god. I'm worried out of my mind right now. I am totally out of my depth too, and I feel like I should just apply for lower level positions. I always aim for the stars and then end up getting nothing, or putting time into preparing for interviews and not getting it.

If they are equal rights employers, you could give them a call and just try saying you suffer from anxiety and that's why you pulled out. They might help you. I just interviewed with the Citizens Advice Bureau and they do guaranteed interviews for disabled people. I think my depression might count as a disability because I can't work the way I used to when I was not depressed. However I was afraid that saying I was depressed would count against me for the job...

...in your case, you have absolutely nothing to lose, because you won't get the job if you don't go to the interview. You might as well try and see if they will give you a second chance. Just say that you went to another interview, and you have anxiety and interviews are a trigger for you, but it doesn't affect your working life otherwise (or if it does, say how it does). Then see if they will let you reschedule the interview and perhaps do it in a different setting (e.g. a cafe) if that will help with your anxiety.

What do you think?

[Oddfish]

Thanks for the advice lior. Glad I'm not the only one! I don't think I will go for that other interview, because I do think it is for a role that really is too much for me to handle. My problem is that on paper my work history looks very good. I actually had a senior level title in my old job but in reality I did not do any senior level work due to the company set up and so I do not have the experience and skills people expect at that level. I feel a bit of a fraud and come unstuck in interviews because of that, knowing they'll 'find me out'. I do put a lot of work into the prep too and I get overwhelmed. This was way too overwhelming. I didn't know where to start!

That said, I'm still compelled to apply to the higher jobs even though I'm inexperienced and know they would stress me out too much. The interview on Friday was for a lower level job and yet it was still horrific, so I was a bit shocked by it! I've never admitted to an employer about having anxiety - usually it isn't a problem. It only seems to be interviews that get me. I got my last two jobs by volunteering and networking and never had interviews. It's so much easier just to prove your worth that way.

[lior]

Yeah I know. I've actually had very similar experiences to you. I often get work because I'm a contact of a contact, or I met them at a networking event or something.

I also set up two failed social enterprises and it says 'CEO' on my cv for them :) the way I deal with that is that I make sure they know that it was my own initiative, and I readily admit all my weaknesses (ok at lots of things, but not an expert at anything... tend to overwork... don't know much about financial modelling... etc).

I'm not sure if it's the right tack, but you know what, I think I represented myself fairly accurately at the interview today. I probably said a couple of things that weren't right for the job. If I'm not right for the job, then I don't want the job. I wouldn't do well in it if they didn't like my approach or me as a person. And seeing as I probably represented myself accurately (apart from being so nervous) I trust their decision whether they take me or not.

Sleep on the idea to 'come out' about anxiety to these new employers. You never know - it could mean they offer you some other sort of work, or on different terms.