Ollie28
02-09-14, 23:04
Evening all,
I can't sleep my little princess starts juniors tomorrow and I'm so proud of her, I can't wait to see her in the morning in her uniform I know it's going to hurt me because of the way I feel,
I miss her so much she's my little princess we use to do everything together like bike riding, astronomy, going on adventures or bear hunts as she use to call them, since I've been battling this I feel like i have lost connection with her. I feel like I'm no longer the person I was as I've lost my personality and how I'm use to feeling, I feel so detached like I can't connect to her no more and it's braking me down inside. I miss her! My children are my life, I make sure I tell her everyday how much I love her and how proud I am of her but it's not enough for me. She's my little princess.
I also have a 2 year old boy who is my little man. He's so so cute and cheeky, I always wanted a boy so I can do boy things with him, take him the football, but him his first pair of football boots, watch motor bikes and diggers teach him how to be a man and so him how to respect and appriciate woman. It breaks my heart and tears me apart everyday to feel like I don't know him I don't feel connected to him - I had 6 years with my little girl where's my littler boy was born and only 11 month later my stress, shock & trauma started and it's continued with this anxiety since. I'm a proud hard working dad my kids and family life was all I wanted for myself I was never interested in going out with all my mates or brothers, I was never interests in stag dos and all that I just wanted to work and spend time with my kids that's me happy. To be in this situation and feel like I do is tearing me apart, watching my family struggle financially and having to tell my princess I can't but her the things she wants like I have always done (out of reward) is hard and it hurts. I just want to see my kids smile again and feel it, I want to hold thee hands and feel it I want to feel connected to them again hug them and walk away feeling what I've just done....
Poring my heart out why typing this - life can be so cruel.
I just wanted to ask if anyone else has children and how do they go about the emotions of dealing with all this, I try so hard not to show them how much I'm hurting I don't want them to see me like this but they are my life and I miss them.
I'm going to be so proud in the morning il try my hardest not to shed a tear...
I can't sleep my little princess starts juniors tomorrow and I'm so proud of her, I can't wait to see her in the morning in her uniform I know it's going to hurt me because of the way I feel,
I miss her so much she's my little princess we use to do everything together like bike riding, astronomy, going on adventures or bear hunts as she use to call them, since I've been battling this I feel like i have lost connection with her. I feel like I'm no longer the person I was as I've lost my personality and how I'm use to feeling, I feel so detached like I can't connect to her no more and it's braking me down inside. I miss her! My children are my life, I make sure I tell her everyday how much I love her and how proud I am of her but it's not enough for me. She's my little princess.
I also have a 2 year old boy who is my little man. He's so so cute and cheeky, I always wanted a boy so I can do boy things with him, take him the football, but him his first pair of football boots, watch motor bikes and diggers teach him how to be a man and so him how to respect and appriciate woman. It breaks my heart and tears me apart everyday to feel like I don't know him I don't feel connected to him - I had 6 years with my little girl where's my littler boy was born and only 11 month later my stress, shock & trauma started and it's continued with this anxiety since. I'm a proud hard working dad my kids and family life was all I wanted for myself I was never interested in going out with all my mates or brothers, I was never interests in stag dos and all that I just wanted to work and spend time with my kids that's me happy. To be in this situation and feel like I do is tearing me apart, watching my family struggle financially and having to tell my princess I can't but her the things she wants like I have always done (out of reward) is hard and it hurts. I just want to see my kids smile again and feel it, I want to hold thee hands and feel it I want to feel connected to them again hug them and walk away feeling what I've just done....
Poring my heart out why typing this - life can be so cruel.
I just wanted to ask if anyone else has children and how do they go about the emotions of dealing with all this, I try so hard not to show them how much I'm hurting I don't want them to see me like this but they are my life and I miss them.
I'm going to be so proud in the morning il try my hardest not to shed a tear...