Why??!! An I such a bad person?!

[Starstruck]

Basically I've been quite upset today, crying even over something not worth my time or energy.

Basically my boss (gay man) whom I've known almost 5 yrs I leaving to go on adoption leave.

There is 5 office staff, a small team. Whilst off on annual leave I heard he has arranged a going away meal one lunchtime (today). I asked a colleague why I wasn't invited and they shrugged an said maybe it because he thought u were off.
It came to the time and I asked what we were doing for lunch .

He replied, your getting a sandwich and I'm taking these out for dinner. I said how come I'm not going? He said it was because it was the last chance he would see them. I replied it's the last time you will see me too?

They all left and I was left in the office alone doing work. I hadn't been given time to get my lunch or or anyone to check I even had any as they were gone a couple hrs. I had I call an outside staff member to pick something up for me.

I have worked my ass off for this boss, committed To him , done loads I shouldn't have and there was me stressing about what we were doing for his leaving day??? Wtf!!!
I feel used, upset, and tearful and a fool if anything.

Is it me? All staff now I suffer with anxiety , not the extent but they know.
I feel so down about it.
:ohmy:

[jeff.paire]

That's shocking, how can people be so cruel I don't know. Honestly, I feel like you should just tell him to stick it, and try to just do your job and leave, and not be bogged down by fellow workers/ bosses who cause you anxiety, because having an emotional involvement can cause you to feel down.

[Starstruck]

Nobody questioned him! They all scutteld off!
He's gone now and I'm still there.
I've had some home truths with myself today!

[Cambrian49]

What a c**k!!

[lior]

That is totally ridiculous. That's office bullying. Are you part of a larger company? If you are you must go to HR. This is not acceptable.

If you're not, you should look for another job. You deserve to be treated better. At least he's going to be off now for a while. You should demand a reason why they were taken out to lunch and not you, or you'll wonder why forever. Even if it's a horrible answer, that's better than not knowing.

[Lucinda07]

Your boss is going on adoption leave (is that right?) well what a "marvellous" parent he'll make - pity the poor child!
Maybe he'll get a bad tum after all that food AND be overcharged by the restaurant!
You don't deserve to be excluded in this way - tell others in the organisation about this unfair treatment.

[trish1955]

Better still he might get food poisoning yeah xxxx

[Starstruck]

Well we have a feeling he won't return so I prob won't go to HR.

Is be too anxious to.
Thanks for ure replies. I thought it was me that was the problem!

[MyNameIsTerry]

Your thread title does not match the situation - you did nothing wrong, he is just an idiot!

Considering this attitude, I would easily judge him to be a very poor manager with little regard for his employees, more his friends.

You get this kind of thing everywhere, especially when you have staff & managers with certain kinds of relationships. They are either inexperienced in the ways of the staff vs. management divide or are immature people who will never learn that there are rules & boundaries.

Put this completely out of your mind - you are not a bad person, he is. Don't read into it - the others are either too weak to stand up for their colleagues, may not get on with you, may be bumlickers or may be friends with him. Its an environmental issue, you can't easily change it and in cases you may not want to as it could compromise your values if it means joining the 'in crowd'.

[flossie]

It says more about him than it does you to be honest.
He has proven he is no friend of yours and really not worth you fretting about. Concentrate on the important things in life. He certainly isn't one of them.

[Brunette]

Ugh, what a nasty creep!

I pity the poor child...

[mindful+]

that such terrible prejudice is on display is very distressing starstruck .
You don't deserve to be treated like that - and shame on the others who went along to the lunch leaving you there on your own ..
You'll have a chance to sound out your fellow staff members whilst the boss is away.
keep cool and keep your dignity, they are the UNWORTHY here sweet x