Ronan23
04-09-14, 21:35
Hi,
This is my first post here, I didn't even realize that forums like this existed and had regular posts so i'm very happy to have found it. Anyway, i'm a 24 year old guy and suffer very badly with anxiety and I am beginning to lose hope so i'm looking for advice.
The anxiety has manifested itself in different ways from social to health, but mainly health related. There have been many positive experiences in my life:
-I've graduated from college
-I've got a job
-I've had a LTR for 3 years and been in love (it's over now though)
-I've travelled solo to Asia
But always in the background since I was 14 there has been anxiety. From relentless googling of symptoms, to convincing myself I'm going to die from sudden death or a brain aneurysm, to avoiding social situations with extroverted people because of the anxiety.
I've had a multitude of tests done since I was 14. To name a few: ECG, Holter Monitor, 2 x MRI, Nerve Conduction test, X-Rays, stress test, CT Scan.
None of these showed the slightest problem. Yet I always convince myself that in the interim period between getting them tests done and now, that I will develop problems.
The annoying thing is that I consider myself to be very intelligent. I have read countless books based on CBT, so I know deep down that anxiety is just a result of deceptive brain messages. I refuse to take medication (I've been prescribed sertraline) as I don't want to depend on a pill to function. Saying that, I take xanax when my panic attacks are really bad.
It's so frustrating because any time I make significant cognitive progress (such as recently when I read a great book on anxiety), my symptoms seem to get worse. It's like that monster inside my brain realizes i'm trying to defeat it and then just hits me with an onslaught of anxious symptoms to send me back to square one.
Today in work I felt like I was losing control. It's a very difficult thing to describe but it was like I was going to pass out or just exit from my body. I also experienced a very disturbing surge of adrenaline in my head, like a jolt, followed by dizziness for around 10 seconds. I had actually not taken a med for anxiety in 8 months before today but I needed a xanax.
I guess what i'm trying to get across is, how do you get better even though you know the science behind the deceptive brain messages? I even get anxious from breathing exercises which are designed to help anxiety!! I find focusing on my breathing makes me anxious that I'll stop breathing. It's horrible. Apologies for the long post but if anyone has any insight or advice that would be appreciated. And thanks for taking the time to rad this.
This is my first post here, I didn't even realize that forums like this existed and had regular posts so i'm very happy to have found it. Anyway, i'm a 24 year old guy and suffer very badly with anxiety and I am beginning to lose hope so i'm looking for advice.
The anxiety has manifested itself in different ways from social to health, but mainly health related. There have been many positive experiences in my life:
-I've graduated from college
-I've got a job
-I've had a LTR for 3 years and been in love (it's over now though)
-I've travelled solo to Asia
But always in the background since I was 14 there has been anxiety. From relentless googling of symptoms, to convincing myself I'm going to die from sudden death or a brain aneurysm, to avoiding social situations with extroverted people because of the anxiety.
I've had a multitude of tests done since I was 14. To name a few: ECG, Holter Monitor, 2 x MRI, Nerve Conduction test, X-Rays, stress test, CT Scan.
None of these showed the slightest problem. Yet I always convince myself that in the interim period between getting them tests done and now, that I will develop problems.
The annoying thing is that I consider myself to be very intelligent. I have read countless books based on CBT, so I know deep down that anxiety is just a result of deceptive brain messages. I refuse to take medication (I've been prescribed sertraline) as I don't want to depend on a pill to function. Saying that, I take xanax when my panic attacks are really bad.
It's so frustrating because any time I make significant cognitive progress (such as recently when I read a great book on anxiety), my symptoms seem to get worse. It's like that monster inside my brain realizes i'm trying to defeat it and then just hits me with an onslaught of anxious symptoms to send me back to square one.
Today in work I felt like I was losing control. It's a very difficult thing to describe but it was like I was going to pass out or just exit from my body. I also experienced a very disturbing surge of adrenaline in my head, like a jolt, followed by dizziness for around 10 seconds. I had actually not taken a med for anxiety in 8 months before today but I needed a xanax.
I guess what i'm trying to get across is, how do you get better even though you know the science behind the deceptive brain messages? I even get anxious from breathing exercises which are designed to help anxiety!! I find focusing on my breathing makes me anxious that I'll stop breathing. It's horrible. Apologies for the long post but if anyone has any insight or advice that would be appreciated. And thanks for taking the time to rad this.