I think one of my best friends tried to scam me

[Shapeshifting Lizard]

I am a bit drunk, so maybe this is a temporary worry, but I think it will be serious tomorrow because I just haven't imagined it. I'm sure I'll come back to this.

I have a friend who I met at my local bar, he is very well known in the village, he kind of took me on as a friend when I was lonely and visiting on my own. Anyway, we've known each other for over a year (as drinking buddies, he's a lot older than me and knows I have Asperger's Syndrome). He's seemed like a really cool guy all this time, reminds me of one of the mates I have in my own peer-group.

Anyway tonight we were out in a pub and he knew I was a bit inebriated (I told him + it was obvious) and he asked me for £10. I said it was ok and went to the bar to ask for a pen so I could write a note for myself, and remember it in the morning. When we were walking home he told me that he had "Asked for £10 in change", and I had complied. This is absolutely, off the scale, total "why the hell would i believe that"? insanity. Of course that did not happen. I told him, and showed him the note I had written, and he was just like "Well if I owe you it, that's ok then".

I am confused as ****. I am wondering what i should do. At the moment I'm thinking I should just tell him straight out about what happened, like just straight off tell him exactly how it happened. I might be thinking differently in the morning, so I'm sure I'll be just shy and wanting to conserve our friendship. It's just a surprise, and it's come as a shock because he has legitimately done so much for my well being. I love the guy, and I'm messed up about it. I know that what I saw was real.

Sorry guys has anyone been throught that?

[.Poppy.]

WARNING: I am an American and don't totally understand the situation you are describing. I am prepared to take full responsibility and blame for the fact that my difference in culture and un-worldliness is at fault here. :D

He asked you for 10 pounds (that is the pounds symbol, right?) and you gave it to him, then wrote it down so you remembered you loaned him money. Then walking home he said he asked you for 10 pounds in change and you gave it to him.

Is there a difference between money "in change"? Or did you actually not give him the money and he says you did. Or did is he trying to say the HE gave YOU money?

I've certainly had times where I have suspected my friends of trying to "cheat" me. Sometimes money is involved - they'll buy me something and I'll ask how much I owe them and I know they round up. But I do think it's an honest mistake...and then there are times when they'll spot me change or give me a ride and I figure it all works out :)

If it hasn't happened previously and you still get a good feeling about him, I'd let it slide. You can always keep a close eye on things and be on-alert in case something happens again but it may just be an honest misunderstanding.

[MyNameIsTerry]

I think it might make more sense to review the situation with a clearer head in the morning SL.

As far as I can tell, he asked for £10 and you gave it to him. Then on the way home he said he asked for £10 in change and that you had given it to him already at the time in the pub. If thats the case, I don't understand his response agreeing he owed it to you and its ok, because you both already new that.

Or was he trying to get a further £10 on the walk home? Or was he telling you that you never gave him the first £10? Or is a misunderstanding, you gave him a £10 note but he wanted it in change and was aksing for you to break it up again?

[Shapeshifting Lizard]

Sorry guys, I wasn't being clear enough. He told me that the £10 I had given him was in fact that he was asking for change for £10. As in, he was claiming he had given me a £10 note, and I gave him change (in say for example, a £5 note and five pound coins). So, he was trying to convince me he didn't owe me any money by saying he just changed the note. I know for certain that's not true, and he didn't argue when I told him it wasn't, he admitted he owes me it.

(it is pounds by the way I'm from the UK ^^)

Is this thread relevant to this board? I posted it because I thought it was relevant and if it's not I'll be ok with that.

[.Poppy.]

I think it's relevant :) And now I understand!

Had he been drinking too? It sounds to me like an honest mistake - maybe he was just confused himself. Since he owned up to it, it seems like he wasn't trying to pull one over on you - but of course see that he pays you back.

I'd personally keep alert but give him the benefit of the doubt just this once.

[Oosh]

I understand what you're saying. I can understand exactly how you feel. There's like a sickening feeling in your stomach when you wonder about a friends honesty.

It's a tricky one. I think, if he's been a good friend up until then, there's no harm in giving him the benefit of the doubt on this occasion. Some things may be likely but it may actually be least likely that he is now a nasty person who would hurt you in anyway.

I can understand how it would bother you though.

I'd just continue as normal and keep my wits about me.

[MyNameIsTerry]

I would give him the benefit of the doubt and see whether something happens again which confirms it.

It could easily be a mistake or it could be that he was trying to take advantage of you.

We all make mistakes, thats all it could be so not worth losing a friend over if it is.

[Shapeshifting Lizard]

Am gonna think this over a bit more, just updating. We met outside the shop just this evening and he told me he was going up to the same pub. I've been knackered so when I came back with my stuff I just texted him I wasn't coming. I think that's for the best anyway I wouldn't want the subject to come up, even though I doubt he'd mention it. He was acting like normal anyway.

I think that's kind of comforting though, of course I can give people the benefit of the doubt. But up until someone says that it's almost with a 100% certainty I believe he had bad intentions. Kind of makes the whole relationship seem wasted. Mind you I don't "give" much, but what can I give? I have nothing to give.

Also for context, we don't just meet in the same but I have stayed over at his but it's always been parties.