n3r0x1k
05-09-14, 01:15
DISCLAIMER: If you have health anxiety regarding your heart and are still scared about some terms, you might want to avoid reading this post.
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I might be redundant, blurry in my explanations etc, I'm pretty panicky right now, have had huge panic attacks in the past few months and sometimes daily or often a day. Will spare too many historic as I realize these are long to read, but to put it short :
Male, 32, had G.A.D., Panic Disorder since my teen years. Have had phases where I could be a couple of years with just the occasional panic attack, but other phases can last months on a run, full-blown panic attacks, visits to the ER, etc. I am medicated since age 17 (which I won't name not having read the ToS / Rules here since a while) and tried psychologists, group therapy, books, etc.
Other than panic, I've had ECG's that showed supra ventricular tachycardia, although more often "sinus tachycardia" (can't remeber if it's said that way in english, doctors here speak french (Montreal, Canada)), PVC's, etc. Sometimes I can go a long time without feeling any of this, other times, my PVC's can be very constant, at rest like on effort, but most often on effort (then again, depends). Sometimes my tachycardia at rest can be between 96 & 130bpm for a few days straight. I've been told many times to go back home and to get on with my life, that I wasn't going to die. I just have trouble convincing myself that I'm not on the verge of an imminent death sometimes, like today and 75% of the time for the last 3-4 months where I'm in another huge phase. Also, last time they heard a heart murmur which from my own research hints to mitral valve prolapse, but my GP told me there was nothing to worry about, that I was maybe more stressed than usual.
Also, I can't help but think that sometimes my SVT (supra ventricular tachycardia) could transform itself into VT (Ventricular Tachycardia, a more dangerous form) or rhat my PVCs or any of the symptoms above could lead to cardiac arrest. I have a huge fear of death and my health anxiety is focused on everything that's cardiovascular. I also wondered minutes ago : what if, because of the sometimes difficult to differentiate SVT from VT on an ECG, what if sometimes I'm actually experiencing VT, which would also explain the temporary exhaustion / feeling drained of energy. So taht's what going on right now, also had a few PVC's today. They get worst when I walk (lately I'm out of shape because of avoidance due to my panic phase so I walk to get back in shape) so I just take walks, jogging or other seem impossible to me right now. For the record, I'm slightly overweight in the last year (180 lbs (82 kg) instead of my normal 160 lbs (73 kg)). And yeah, doing 5-10 km walks but often I feel these PVC's, my heartbeat's quicker than normal (for normal paced walks), in the 150 bpm's, and sometimes I feel like these electric pulses through my body here and there (they seem to be sync'd on a heartbeat), similar to paroxetine withdrawal symptoms (of which I am not in), if any of you experienced either one. So yah, even getting back in shape often makes me worried and I turn around back home, although often I try to continue and "brush it off" as a benign symptom.
I'm sorry if this post is all over the place, only I feel so overwhelmed with all these doubts, fears and panic attacks. I've quit my job (thus am poor right now) because of this and not to say that I'm suicidal (I am not), I just am f****** fed up of living through this on repeat and never knowing if today will be my last day. I literally am often convinced that the next day / hour / is my last.
I've went to the ER two days ago, they suggested I go to a clinic next Tuesday to have tests prescribed (bloodwork & company, I imagine) because my ECG at the moment didn't show anything alarming, "only" Sinus Tachy (~120 @ rest) although it's gotten down to 90-100 today AND ectopics (PVC's).
With all that's been described above, do you (plural) think I could be in danger or this could all be a manifestation of anxiety and subsequent panic? I mention subsequentally because sometimes they occur "out of the blue" before the panic.
Thanks in advance. Forgot half of what I was going to say but that covers a lot.
--------------------
I might be redundant, blurry in my explanations etc, I'm pretty panicky right now, have had huge panic attacks in the past few months and sometimes daily or often a day. Will spare too many historic as I realize these are long to read, but to put it short :
Male, 32, had G.A.D., Panic Disorder since my teen years. Have had phases where I could be a couple of years with just the occasional panic attack, but other phases can last months on a run, full-blown panic attacks, visits to the ER, etc. I am medicated since age 17 (which I won't name not having read the ToS / Rules here since a while) and tried psychologists, group therapy, books, etc.
Other than panic, I've had ECG's that showed supra ventricular tachycardia, although more often "sinus tachycardia" (can't remeber if it's said that way in english, doctors here speak french (Montreal, Canada)), PVC's, etc. Sometimes I can go a long time without feeling any of this, other times, my PVC's can be very constant, at rest like on effort, but most often on effort (then again, depends). Sometimes my tachycardia at rest can be between 96 & 130bpm for a few days straight. I've been told many times to go back home and to get on with my life, that I wasn't going to die. I just have trouble convincing myself that I'm not on the verge of an imminent death sometimes, like today and 75% of the time for the last 3-4 months where I'm in another huge phase. Also, last time they heard a heart murmur which from my own research hints to mitral valve prolapse, but my GP told me there was nothing to worry about, that I was maybe more stressed than usual.
Also, I can't help but think that sometimes my SVT (supra ventricular tachycardia) could transform itself into VT (Ventricular Tachycardia, a more dangerous form) or rhat my PVCs or any of the symptoms above could lead to cardiac arrest. I have a huge fear of death and my health anxiety is focused on everything that's cardiovascular. I also wondered minutes ago : what if, because of the sometimes difficult to differentiate SVT from VT on an ECG, what if sometimes I'm actually experiencing VT, which would also explain the temporary exhaustion / feeling drained of energy. So taht's what going on right now, also had a few PVC's today. They get worst when I walk (lately I'm out of shape because of avoidance due to my panic phase so I walk to get back in shape) so I just take walks, jogging or other seem impossible to me right now. For the record, I'm slightly overweight in the last year (180 lbs (82 kg) instead of my normal 160 lbs (73 kg)). And yeah, doing 5-10 km walks but often I feel these PVC's, my heartbeat's quicker than normal (for normal paced walks), in the 150 bpm's, and sometimes I feel like these electric pulses through my body here and there (they seem to be sync'd on a heartbeat), similar to paroxetine withdrawal symptoms (of which I am not in), if any of you experienced either one. So yah, even getting back in shape often makes me worried and I turn around back home, although often I try to continue and "brush it off" as a benign symptom.
I'm sorry if this post is all over the place, only I feel so overwhelmed with all these doubts, fears and panic attacks. I've quit my job (thus am poor right now) because of this and not to say that I'm suicidal (I am not), I just am f****** fed up of living through this on repeat and never knowing if today will be my last day. I literally am often convinced that the next day / hour / is my last.
I've went to the ER two days ago, they suggested I go to a clinic next Tuesday to have tests prescribed (bloodwork & company, I imagine) because my ECG at the moment didn't show anything alarming, "only" Sinus Tachy (~120 @ rest) although it's gotten down to 90-100 today AND ectopics (PVC's).
With all that's been described above, do you (plural) think I could be in danger or this could all be a manifestation of anxiety and subsequent panic? I mention subsequentally because sometimes they occur "out of the blue" before the panic.
Thanks in advance. Forgot half of what I was going to say but that covers a lot.