a_friend
17-08-04, 17:19
Hello all,
I'm not sure how active this forum is but I really need some advice. My best friend is agoraphobic, and will no longer leave her street. It's only 1 block long, and now she seems to not be able to get more than a few houses away before she panics.
She has been this way for probably 17 years now (we've known each other a long time). In the beginning, it got so bad so rapidly that she didn't leave her house for over 2 years. The poor thing had her baby during this time, and although the labor over took the panic momentarily, right after he was born she was panicking in the hospital and had to leave, and leave the baby there. She felt so ashamed of this that she didn't tell any of us he was born until two days after,(her sister stayed at the hospital with the baby). She called us all after the hospital let the baby come home.
Then a few years later she started getting a little better. I moved into the neighborhood, and I guess i was sort of her "safe person", and she started coming out and venturing to my house. Over time she got better and better, and was even able to hold down a job. But here is the thing. She had boundaries in her mind that no one could break. There was one grocery store, one drug store within her "safe zone", and she did all her shopping there. Her job was also in her safe zone. I think it amounted to 17 total blocks that she was able to travel. (I've heard her mention this number, she must have kept count.) The hospital and all of the doctors offices that would be able to help her were outside her "safe zone". She couldn't seek medical help for her illness because going one step farther than her safe area would trigger panic. the little bit she did, she did on her own.
Two years ago, she started getting worse again. As I said, she can't get more than a few houses away before she panics. She can't shop for herself, or go to her kids school, or even to a doctor. She cries all the time and calls herself a "weirdo", and says she knows people are sick of her not doing anything for herself. Her kids are resentful (ages 19 and 11), but they try to hide it. Now she is great about if there is something she can't do with them, she will find someone who will, so they are not exactly housebound with her, but they still are affected by her illness.
I need to know how to help her. I'm so frustrated because she can't get to a doctor, and no doctors are going to come to her. How can you get treatment for someone who is afraid to leave their street, let alone travel all the way across town to a doctors office? It's like a trap her mind has set up to keep her sick. Her safe zone never expanded enough to reach the doctors office. She is a great, fun-loving person...I don't see her as a weirdo at all, she is just ill. I know she can't help it, but I feel so frustrated on how to get her any help.
Do any of you know how to get help for an agoraphobic person who is housebound? The local mental health offices say she has to come to them..period. She can't.....period. I don't know what to do. She can't be the only person who is stuck like this. I think it's wrong that trained professionals don't seem to grasp the fact that she is too fearful to get to them.
If you have any suggestions, please, please....help.
Thank you.
I'm not sure how active this forum is but I really need some advice. My best friend is agoraphobic, and will no longer leave her street. It's only 1 block long, and now she seems to not be able to get more than a few houses away before she panics.
She has been this way for probably 17 years now (we've known each other a long time). In the beginning, it got so bad so rapidly that she didn't leave her house for over 2 years. The poor thing had her baby during this time, and although the labor over took the panic momentarily, right after he was born she was panicking in the hospital and had to leave, and leave the baby there. She felt so ashamed of this that she didn't tell any of us he was born until two days after,(her sister stayed at the hospital with the baby). She called us all after the hospital let the baby come home.
Then a few years later she started getting a little better. I moved into the neighborhood, and I guess i was sort of her "safe person", and she started coming out and venturing to my house. Over time she got better and better, and was even able to hold down a job. But here is the thing. She had boundaries in her mind that no one could break. There was one grocery store, one drug store within her "safe zone", and she did all her shopping there. Her job was also in her safe zone. I think it amounted to 17 total blocks that she was able to travel. (I've heard her mention this number, she must have kept count.) The hospital and all of the doctors offices that would be able to help her were outside her "safe zone". She couldn't seek medical help for her illness because going one step farther than her safe area would trigger panic. the little bit she did, she did on her own.
Two years ago, she started getting worse again. As I said, she can't get more than a few houses away before she panics. She can't shop for herself, or go to her kids school, or even to a doctor. She cries all the time and calls herself a "weirdo", and says she knows people are sick of her not doing anything for herself. Her kids are resentful (ages 19 and 11), but they try to hide it. Now she is great about if there is something she can't do with them, she will find someone who will, so they are not exactly housebound with her, but they still are affected by her illness.
I need to know how to help her. I'm so frustrated because she can't get to a doctor, and no doctors are going to come to her. How can you get treatment for someone who is afraid to leave their street, let alone travel all the way across town to a doctors office? It's like a trap her mind has set up to keep her sick. Her safe zone never expanded enough to reach the doctors office. She is a great, fun-loving person...I don't see her as a weirdo at all, she is just ill. I know she can't help it, but I feel so frustrated on how to get her any help.
Do any of you know how to get help for an agoraphobic person who is housebound? The local mental health offices say she has to come to them..period. She can't.....period. I don't know what to do. She can't be the only person who is stuck like this. I think it's wrong that trained professionals don't seem to grasp the fact that she is too fearful to get to them.
If you have any suggestions, please, please....help.
Thank you.