Losing the plot health anxiety has got mee

[Deborah81]

:doh: I am 22 female and I am suffering from really bad heath anxiety...
It all started a few months ago when I found a suspicious lump in my left breast and of course I used Dr Google to find the answer and he told me I had breast cancer.. I started freaking out because my nan had breast cancer ( she was 67) and it sent me on a spiral of anxiety... getting chills, sweating, running around the room trying to runaway from myself :weep: I just kept constantly checking my breast, palpitation etc and I felt like I was going to die, Got an appointment with the doctor then.. she reassured me that it was fine but still sent me to get it checked out just for my benefit ... The result was fine.. I had nothing to worry about... and then... the chain of events started too happen.. I got abit stressed back in May with myself job etc, And started to feel this weird empty feeling in my stomach and pains in my bowels... looked it up and lone behold I had stomach cancer.. I started freaking out running around the bedroom etc I insisted to my boyfriend that we've got to go to A&E.. After waiting several hours I finally sore a Doctor who re assured me it was IBS, she told me to see my GP for some anti depressants because they help calm down etc .... That calmed me down for 24 hours then I was up again panicking couldn't sleep so this went on for several week I think I saw about 11 doctors not forgetting nurses as well blood tests ultra sounds but nothing could convince me I was okay, It got to the point were I'd cry to my manager at work saying I need to go to the doctors and I'd be let out of work ( 4-5 times) with panic states... I even thought I was having a heart attack one time.. I was on my lunch break sat down to eat my food and my chest started to pound and my heart would skip beats, I went round the hospital then with a tingling sensation through out my body and shakes... They calmed me down and told me I was having a panic attack .... So anyway 5 months of this stress and anxiety has caused some other symptoms now.. that I DON'T believe the doctors is telling me the truth.. I now think I've got a brain tumour .. I went to A&E lastnight and the doctor done all the reaction, muscle etc tests, and also had a look in my ears and eyes and told me he was 98% sure that theres nothing to worry about because my reactions are fine my walking is fine and I passed all the tests ... but do I believe him? no ... I'm experiencing eye pain, headaches, and blurry vision ( I've been told that these are all down to stress as I've been hard on myself for 5 months and its showing through my body and also have ful) But I don't believe him.. its hard for me to stop worrying so the headaches will stay till I calm down etc .. and that calmed me down for 12 hours.. today I booked an emergency appointment with the doctor who said there was nothing to worry about ( checked my eyes,ears throat etc) told me there was fluid behind my eardrum which indicates sinusitis because my ears are puffy and a sore throat etc... but I feel like there was something I forgot to tell him... Iv'e been to atleast 15 doctors for diffrent things... I just want it to stop its breaking up my relationship I miss the happy meeeeee :( :( .. doctors keep telling me go and enjoy your life your young... but I cant let it go.. are there any tips anyone could give me please

[cpe1978]

Hi Deborah,

Have a look back through my recent posts. I wrote a fairly lengthy piece about what helped me. It was recent so should be easy to find. Let me know if you have any questions.

There is a way out of this.

[wnsos]

I really identify with a lot of this. What I'm trying my best to do at the minute is to stop wondering where the happy me went and being so terrified she'll never come back, it's really hard and I've slipped into tears a couple of times but cp's post helped me a hell of a lot. Mostly everywhere else I looked people were talking like its helpless but it's not, we can beat this. We can so beat this and be ourselves and better again. Are you getting CBT? X

[Kimberly91]

I really feel your pain. I'm 23 and am completely convinced I have some sort of illness. It changes every week, from cervical cancer to ovarian cancer to bowel cancer to stomach cancer to lymphoma...the list is endless! Recently it's my heart I've been concerned about. I have so many physical symptoms - stomach issues, chest pains, difficulty breathing, bloating, dizziness, hot flashes, eye/headaches, blurry vision, you name it and I've got it. I've had about 6 blood tests, a stool sample and 2 urine samples that all say I'm healthy, but I simply don't believe them - they must be missing something! I take Omeprazole for my stomach and Propranolol for my panic attacks - they help to an extent. My boyfriend of almost 6 years tries to be supportive, but it's getting very tiring for him now. My work have contacted my GP because I take so much time off. I feel like I'm stuck in a rut that is impossible to get out of. I was even referred to a psychologist but I don't feel that it is helping at all! Some nights I am scared to go to sleep incase I don't wake up. Other nights I just cry because I feel like no one understands or believes me.
Just know that you're not alone. I hope you find a way to beat your demons. X

[Fishmanpa]

Wow, you've been the ringer! Sorry to read of your struggles. It sounds and reads like many, many here on the boards.... The mistrust of doctors, the constant Googling and reassurance seeking. It's HA to the max!

Bottom line as far as tips is you have to treat the real illness which is anxiety. It's just as real as any physical illness and you have to work just as hard at getting better. Therapy, CBT, meds or a combination thereof is a start. There are no magic pills or overnight tips that work. It's a real desire to get better and seeking the help needed to do so.

Positive thoughts

[Fj2014]

Hello honey,

Wow!! You sound a lot like me if we just re-ordered the illnesses.
I know how hard it is to overcome this – mine anxiety started just a few months ago too when I moved away from home for a job (I’m 24) and got a UTI.
I have started to make progress after months and months of tests but health anxiety still has a small grasp on me.

I’ve found that reading through some online CBT workbooks has helped alot, also make an appointment to speak to your GP about it – I only did this a few weeks back but I really felt like a weight had been lifted.

Try to make yourself ‘wait a symptom’ out for two weeks before visiting a doctor (unless it is a serious issue!) and see if it disappears on its own – I’m currently doing this with another suspected uti and feeling stronger every day.

This forum is really useful too if you use it in the right way and not to reel off symptoms (which I know we are all guilty of) but it just exacerbates your need for reassurance.

Also, keep a journal – just log how you’re feeling/what’s happened each day and if you want to your worries – it helps to log progress, set backs and fears so you can go back and see how you’re doing.

Here is a link to a good CBT course:

http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/infopax.cfm?Info_ID=53

Good luck and message me if you want to chat :) .

[Deborah81]

WOW! :) can I just say a big thank you for all the support, It's nice to know that there are people out there like me.. I feel very alone at the moment like nobody understands what I'm going through,My family are shouting at me because I'm forever stressing, My doctors are actually telling me to stop 'wasting there time' or when I've booked an emergency appointment one doctor said 'thanks for making' me laugh because I was being dramatic, but I guess there just sick of telling me that I'm okay, I guess the truth is these symptoms wont go away unless I stop stressing, because when im constantly thinking about them they get worse. I got sent home from work today because I went in in a panic state and started to cry in front of everyone on reception, I feel like girls I work with don't understand and they talk about me behind my back,they made a joke about it in front of me... I just think people who haven't experience health anxiety, anxiety and depression have no idea how it feels or how serious it is.. being mentally unstable is one of the worst experience I've ever faced!.... :weep:
I had it when I was about 11 I thought I was having a heart attack all the time so I should be able to get over it because I did back then, but I was so young so I didn't know about all these other illness's..