advice for a parent

[Rosie82]

Any tips for coping with the anxiety of having teenagers. my son is 18 and I constantly worry when he is out of an evening. I lie awake until he comes in which can sometimes be in the early hours. This is usually only at weekends. during the week he is usually in by 10. please can anyone offer me some hope that they grow out of staying out to all hours. I don't always know where he is if I honest, but there's no guarantee he will be where he says he is, as plans can change. I manage to wind myself up every weekend. I know he drinks and has in the past taken drugs, so this just fuels my anxiety. I know no one can promise me everything will be ok, but any words of hope will be gratefully received. I just don't think I understand 18year old boys!

[Baggs]

Grey hair is hereditary, you get it from your kids. Your son is doing what teenagers do and you are doing what parents do, it's all perfectly normal. My son went through the same but now he is all grown up and happily married. Your son will be fine too, you just have to give it time. I wish you all the best.

[Rosie82]

Thank you Baggs. Your reply means a lot. I live for the day he grows up! x:)

[Fishmanpa]

My two are adults (24 and 21). Their Mom and I ware divorced when they were young so I wasn't there through a lot of that BUT... I always stayed in touch with my ex concerning them. We're fortunate that we both instilled good things in their life, taught them from our own experiences and always made it known to come to us with any problems, no matter what they are.

That being said, the easiest way for us to cope with them being teens and doing the things teens do is knowing what we did. I knew they were going to do some of the things I did (hopefully not as much! ~lol~) and I also had comfort in knowing them as people and the values and morals they possess.

I'm sure you did the same things as they grew up. One of the the best things both their Mom and I did was trust them and be there for them. It's very difficult seeing our children leave the nest and venture out into the world. We never stop caring and being concerned for them. One of the biggest mistakes IMO, is being their friend as opposed to their parent. Just keep doing what you're doing, be open, honest and never stop being "Mom".

Positive thoughts

[Magic]

I had the same problem with my girls at that age.
My nerves were shattered.
I remember staying up waiting for them to come home.
That was the beginning of my sleep problem.
Every Friday night my eldest would say to me as she went
out of the door. " I might be back tonight or I might be back
on Sunday" Never new where she was or who she would
bring back with her.
My husband used to tell her off and that made me feel worse.
I think all parents have this problem with young adults.
It's something we all go through.
It will pass Rosie. Try not let it get to you.:hugs: